Expound. Not sure I follow.
For example - For me to feel as though a man loves me he would need to demonstrate consistently: affection, quality time, communication, be attentive, loyalty, invest knowledge in me, etc...
Say that I meet a man, fall for him and demonstrate it by expressing all the things...that make ME feel love, and while they aren't bad qualities, they may not be want HE needs to make him feel loved. I'd have to find out what his needs/language is and meet/supercede them.
For example - For him feeling love entails a woman who has faith in/believes in/admires him, initiates intimacy & makes him feel desired, etc.
The flawed notion, in this instance, is to give what you want in return when it should be to learn what that particular person needs to feel love and give it to them.