Spin: How many of y'all have never payed child support?

[Ezekiel 25:17]

We’ll have to agree to disagree. I’ve never been a parent but I know how much it cost to raise me in the 2000s as a child.

There's nothing to disagree about. The median rent is $1400. $800 is over half that.

 

[lib123]

There's nothing to disagree about. The median rent is $1400. $800 is over half that.

That’s not the median rent in a major coastal metro city with enough space and in a good area for a young child. The median 2 bedroom in NYC is $3900. $3000 median in DC. That’s not including childcare assuming both parents work, clothes, food, after school activities, etc. Children are expensive. Even before the inflation spike over the last 4 years the commonly cited statistic was it costs over $1 million directly and indirectly (eg bigger and safer living space) to raise a child to become a well adjusted adult. That’s over $50K per year.

In the early 2000s my parents were paying a woman $300 per week just to pick me up from school and watch me. That alone is over $750 per week adjusted for 2025 cost of living.

 

[Diyhai]

That’s not the median rent in a major coastal metro city with enough space and in a good area for a young child. The median 2 bedroom in NYC is $3900. $3000 median in DC. That’s not including childcare assuming both parents work, clothes, food, after school activities, etc. Children are expensive. Even before the inflation spike over the last 4 years the commonly cited statistic was it costs over $1 million directly and indirectly (eg bigger and safer living space) to raise a child to become a well adjusted adult. That’s over $50K per year.

In the early 2000s my parents were paying a woman $300 per week just to pick me up from school and watch me.

it don't cost no 50k to raise a kid but child care could easily be over $800 a month off top

 

[lib123]

it don't cost no 50k to raise a kid but child care could easily be over $800 a month off top

The $50K also factors in the cost of housing to accommodate a child. Most people would save a lot more on housing if they didn’t have kids.

 

[Ezekiel 25:17]

That’s not the median rent in a major coastal metro city with enough space and in a good area for a young child. The median 2 bedroom in NYC is $3900. $3000 median in DC. That’s not including childcare assuming both parents work, clothes, food, after school activities, etc. Children are expensive. Even before the inflation spike over the last 4 years the commonly cited statistic was it costs over $1 million directly and indirectly (eg bigger and safer living space) to raise a child to become a well adjusted adult. That’s over $50K per year.

In the early 2000s my parents were paying a woman $300 per week just to pick me up from school and watch me. That alone is over $750 per week adjusted for 2025 cost of living.

Do all 300 million U.S. citizens live in New York and DC?

 

[lib123]

Do all 300 million U.S. citizens live in New York and DC?

No but a lot of people live in major metro areas.

 

[LordDeathwatch]

Again I’m speaking on the cost of living in major coastal metro cities (eg NYC, DC, LA). I don’t know where you’re from so $820 might go a long way.

Over 60% of Americans don't live in major coastal areas, so you're not accounting for over half the population. So those median income and rental stats are more applicable than your example.

Fact of the matter is that with a shrinking to nonexistent middle class, wealth concentration in the upper tier, and an exploding lower class with no path to upward mobility, $800+ is a significant number.

 

[Killer Instinct]

I'm married with three, on the West coast, with the oldest girl in private school and the middle girl starting next year. Child support would be cheaper.

 

[Ghost Utmost]

No disrespect to the good Brehs but I would guess a lot of us are childless. Something about being on a message board for two decades suggests that.

Me personally, I did lots of fukcing and had multiple shack up situations as well as other long term gfs that I didn't live with...

I lived by a simple principal. I know what makes babies and I am not gonna send a direct hit. Either she was on birth control or was fixed.. or my pull out game is flawless.

I got a woman pregnant once that I know of. She had a miscarriage in my toilet was how I found out. She was a live-in, but one of the shortest at 18 mos. The shortest live-in was 5 weeks.

Near the end of my 6 year marriage, my ex claimed she stopped taking birth control and we were supposedly trying. I'm something of an expert on the female cycle and she was notoriously avoiding sex on the "best" days. I wonder if she actually was trying (still taking bc or purposely avoiding ovulation days).

Childless as far as I know.

It makes sense for a man to have to pay for their children, but I have a homie who just got put on child support and he can't really afford it. Dude was all in with the baby mama and perfectly willing to live with her and care for the child in the organic way. She kicked him out and put him on child support. Nasty work.

 

[KillerPups]

I'm married with three, on the West coast, with the oldest girl in private school and the middle girl starting next year. Child support would be cheaper.

how much u paying per kid for that school?

 

[Michael's Black Son]

Never.

 

[lib123]

Over 60% of Americans don't live in major coastal areas, so you're not accounting for over half the population. So those median income and rental stats are more applicable than your example.

Fact of the matter is that with a shrinking to nonexistent middle class, wealth concentration in the upper tier, and an exploding lower class with no path to upward mobility, $800+ is a significant number.

I can’t speak to the breh in here who said he pays $800 as being significant because I don’t know where he lives. But let’s just be realistic about it, taking it off him. For most guys who pay child support, the child support is 90-100% of what they contribute financially to the child overall.

And brehs on here like @Lieutenant Daniels who have dated several single moms have said most of them have a non-existent shared custody where in reality the child or children are with the mothers the vast majority of the time. A lot of dudes push for the 50/50 custody so they can lower their child support but in reality don’t follow thru with it as far as having the child or children half of the time. In reality in the vast majority of cases the mother has the child the overwhelming majority of the time and the child support is basically the only financial support she gets from the father and she’s responsible for taking care of the child the majority of the time. Hence why most mothers getting child support still struggle financially.

So taking that (again not saying it’s the case with the breh in this thread) into context since it’s the reality as far as most single mothers, $800 isn’t a lot of money in most cases.