Spin: Younger Brehs what do you feel older brehs don't understand about modern dating and why it's become so difficult?

[cyndaquil]

Some really good points. Generations that worked in an office 5 days a week are just on a different wave length than generations that went through Covid as young people. It change school, work and by product how people learn to socialize. Sure some of them may be hesitant to socialize but they also didn’t learn to socialize the way way of at all. That’s also not their fault

It sucks because pre-relationship, pre-pandemic I always had a group of guys to go out to places with and get at chicks or just hangout with. I'm older now almost 30 but wfh M-F. Work starts at 8 im up at 5 an Im in the gym for real so that eats up 2 hours in the morning. I get off work barely 3 hours to myself. Before I gotta sleep.

I get most of my groceries delivered in bulk from Costco (free delivery, all you pay for is tip and it has in warehouse pricing). Get some little shyt here and there from the grocery store and even that can be delivered if I'm willing to pay more etc. But thats usually on the weekends cuz my shyt is prepped for the week. Yall didnt have that before. During the week you'd have to leave the house for something after work we don't have to. Online shopping and food delivery got us with free shipping. This applies to women too.

There's so much convenience now that practically allows you to savs time and avoid people. Weekends are the main time to meet women now but if your hobbies are gaming and watching YouTube and ig videos at the crib your only options are the apps. But this ain't tinder from 2016, this ain't tagged from 2012. These apps are mainstream and the companies behind them want you to pay so they'll algorithmically make it as hard as possible for you to find a match. This is why apps should be background noise while you actually attempt to meet in real life. This handles M-F while bars, events on the weekends that interest you handle the rest. Brehs like @Ohene and @Apollo Creed have already figured this out. But its not a common understanding among the under 30 crowd.

But most young men aren't in the same position they have time to go meet women and when they see people the don't interact socially and be on the game plus listen to online red pill people telling them they gotta "looks max" and that women are only fukking supermodel looking men. So they rely on the apps and then get on there and tell lies so the genuine women are extra cautious now too. Go into gaming spaces online and it's filled with the shyt. The most popular hobby among young men is gaming. Go figure.

 

[The ADD]

It sucks because pre-relationship, pre-pandemic I always had a group of guys to go out to places with and get at chicks or just hangout with. I'm older now almost 30 but wfh M-F. Work starts at 8 im up at 5 an Im in the gym for real so that eats up 2 hours in the morning. I get off work barely 3 hours to myself. Before I gotta sleep.

I get most of my groceries delivered in bulk from Costco (free delivery, all you pay for is tip and it has in warehouse pricing). Get some little shyt here and there from the grocery store and even that can be delivered if I'm willing to pay more etc. But thats usually on the weekends cuz my shyt is prepped for the week. Yall didnt have that before. During the week you'd have to leave the house for something after work we don't have to. Online shopping and food delivery got us with free shipping. This applies to women too.

There's so much convenience now that practically allows you to savs time and avoid people. Weekends are the main time to meet women now but if your hobbies are gaming and watching YouTube and ig videos at the crib your only options are the apps. But this ain't tinder from 2016, this ain't tagged from 2012. These apps are mainstream and the companies behind them want you to pay so they'll algorithmically make it as hard as possible for you to find a match. This is why apps should be background noise while you actually attempt to meet in real life. This handles M-F while bars, events on the weekends that interest you handle the rest. Brehs like @Ohene and @Apollo Creed have already figured this out. But its not a common understanding among the under 30 crowd.

But most young men aren't in the same position they have time to go meet women and when they see people the don't interact socially and be on the game plus listen to online red pill people telling them they gotta "looks max" and that women are only fukking supermodel looking men. So they rely on the apps and then get on there and tell lies so the genuine women are extra cautious now too. Go into gaming spaces online and it's filled with the shyt. The most popular hobby among young men is gaming. Go figure.

Again all good points. Can’t dispute any of it.

The convenience we had now has robbed brehs of critical interaction reps.

 

[RickyDiBiase]

It sucks because pre-relationship, pre-pandemic I always had a group of guys to go out to places with and get at chicks or just hangout with. I'm older now almost 30 but wfh M-F. Work starts at 8 im up at 5 an Im in the gym for real so that eats up 2 hours in the morning. I get off work barely 3 hours to myself. Before I gotta sleep.

I get most of my groceries delivered in bulk from Costco (free delivery, all you pay for is tip and it has in warehouse pricing). Get some little shyt here and there from the grocery store and even that can be delivered if I'm willing to pay more etc. But thats usually on the weekends cuz my shyt is prepped for the week. Yall didnt have that before. During the week you'd have to leave the house for something after work we don't have to. Online shopping and food delivery got us with free shipping. This applies to women too.

There's so much convenience now that practically allows you to savs time and avoid people. Weekends are the main time to meet women now but if your hobbies are gaming and watching YouTube and ig videos at the crib your only options are the apps. But this ain't tinder from 2016, this ain't tagged from 2012. These apps are mainstream and the companies behind them want you to pay so they'll algorithmically make it as hard as possible for you to find a match. This is why apps should be background noise while you actually attempt to meet in real life. This handles M-F while bars, events on the weekends that interest you handle the rest. Brehs like @Ohene and @Apollo Creed have already figured this out. But its not a common understanding among the under 30 crowd.

But most young men aren't in the same position they have time to go meet women and when they see people the don't interact socially and be on the game plus listen to online red pill people telling them they gotta "looks max" and that women are only fukking supermodel looking men. So they rely on the apps and then get on there and tell lies so the genuine women are extra cautious now too. Go into gaming spaces online and it's filled with the shyt. The most popular hobby among young men is gaming. Go figure.

@Apollo Creed will rightfully die alone and the world will be a better place because of it.

 

[Arris]

Older brehs constantly give the same old tired advice with disdain or an attitude. That is true but at the same time don't realize they give it from the framework of having grown up in a different era

A lot of young men coming up grew up different from you, have different or more intense anxiety about being the "hunter". Receive amplified messaging through social media on what is acceptable behavior

These demographic behaviors are getting more pronounced as time goes by. Maybe just maybe society at large and all it encompasses has an impact on how we socialize

Get these men some help so we're not dealing with a bunch of 40-50 year old crashouts in 20 years!

 

[Apollo Creed]

It sucks because pre-relationship, pre-pandemic I always had a group of guys to go out to places with and get at chicks or just hangout with. I'm older now almost 30 but wfh M-F. Work starts at 8 im up at 5 an Im in the gym for real so that eats up 2 hours in the morning. I get off work barely 3 hours to myself. Before I gotta sleep.

I get most of my groceries delivered in bulk from Costco (free delivery, all you pay for is tip and it has in warehouse pricing). Get some little shyt here and there from the grocery store and even that can be delivered if I'm willing to pay more etc. But thats usually on the weekends cuz my shyt is prepped for the week. Yall didnt have that before. During the week you'd have to leave the house for something after work we don't have to. Online shopping and food delivery got us with free shipping. This applies to women too.

There's so much convenience now that practically allows you to savs time and avoid people. Weekends are the main time to meet women now but if your hobbies are gaming and watching YouTube and ig videos at the crib your only options are the apps. But this ain't tinder from 2016, this ain't tagged from 2012. These apps are mainstream and the companies behind them want you to pay so they'll algorithmically make it as hard as possible for you to find a match. This is why apps should be background noise while you actually attempt to meet in real life. This handles M-F while bars, events on the weekends that interest you handle the rest. Brehs like @Ohene and @Apollo Creed have already figured this out. But its not a common understanding among the under 30 crowd.

But most young men aren't in the same position they have time to go meet women and when they see people the don't interact socially and be on the game plus listen to online red pill people telling them they gotta "looks max" and that women are only fukking supermodel looking men. So they rely on the apps and then get on there and tell lies so the genuine women are extra cautious now too. Go into gaming spaces online and it's filled with the shyt. The most popular hobby among young men is gaming. Go figure.

Another issue is nobody wants to admit it is time to re draw the social contract. This is why you have both men and women being set up to die miserable social death. Women are being placed down a path where a slow burn internal death called winning because they can become debt slaves. Men have always been cannon fodder so not its more so “fukk going to war i aint gonna even get a reward so ima just lay down and die on my own terms” whuch can be video games and jacking off every day and periodically rant about how modern women aint shyt lol

 

[BlackAchilles]

That's not gonna stop these earl sinclairs from commenting

 

[Ohene]

It sucks because pre-relationship, pre-pandemic I always had a group of guys to go out to places with and get at chicks or just hangout with. I'm older now almost 30 but wfh M-F. Work starts at 8 im up at 5 an Im in the gym for real so that eats up 2 hours in the morning. I get off work barely 3 hours to myself. Before I gotta sleep.

I get most of my groceries delivered in bulk from Costco (free delivery, all you pay for is tip and it has in warehouse pricing). Get some little shyt here and there from the grocery store and even that can be delivered if I'm willing to pay more etc. But thats usually on the weekends cuz my shyt is prepped for the week. Yall didnt have that before. During the week you'd have to leave the house for something after work we don't have to. Online shopping and food delivery got us with free shipping. This applies to women too.

There's so much convenience now that practically allows you to savs time and avoid people. Weekends are the main time to meet women now but if your hobbies are gaming and watching YouTube and ig videos at the crib your only options are the apps. But this ain't tinder from 2016, this ain't tagged from 2012. These apps are mainstream and the companies behind them want you to pay so they'll algorithmically make it as hard as possible for you to find a match. This is why apps should be background noise while you actually attempt to meet in real life. This handles M-F while bars, events on the weekends that interest you handle the rest. Brehs like @Ohene and @Apollo Creed have already figured this out. But its not a common understanding among the under 30 crowd.

But most young men aren't in the same position they have time to go meet women and when they see people the don't interact socially and be on the game plus listen to online red pill people telling them they gotta "looks max" and that women are only fukking supermodel looking men. So they rely on the apps and then get on there and tell lies so the genuine women are extra cautious now too. Go into gaming spaces online and it's filled with the shyt. The most popular hobby among young men is gaming. Go figure.

i've been deliberately avoiding posting in threads on this topic lol

i'll say this. Like Apollo Creed said, people in their mid to late thirties are in the middle. We saw how things used to be, and as a result we know how bad shyt is now. Cause even if you got the game figured out, if most of the people around you are reclusive or social media addicts then you wont be able to escape a lot of the same issues unless you only date older women.

Back then I would meet women on the subway, at the grocery store, at the gym, on the street etc. I still do but when like you said a lot of basic in-person human movements and interactions have been curtailed due to apps/tools like Peloton, Hinge, Instacart, Uber, Zoom etc. then the # of opportunities decline. Then you have to add in the changes in social interactions caused by this + me-too + COVID + social media. And then you have to add into the equation the delusions and unreal expectations caused by globalization, feminism, social media, me-too and dating apps.

It is a typhoon. Anybody denying the grave consequences for all of the above is simply delusional or just stupid. Nobody is saying that the average man shouldnt try their best to adapt. Nobody is saying that men should sit around and complain all day / become incels. Mans are simply saying that the game has changed and is far more difficult. Older brehs should learn to express some sympathy and count their own blessings while offering advice; instead, they judge and ridicule. But that's normal. If it is one thing we can agree on as men, regarrdless of age, it is that nobody cares or has sympathy for your problems. Everything that happens to you is your fault one way or another.

 

[Apollo Creed]

lol give it a rest breh

i've been deliberately avoiding posting in threads on this topic lol

i'll say this. Like Apollo Creed said, people in their mid to late thirties are in the middle. We saw how things used to be, and as a result we know how bad shyt is now. Cause even if you got the game figured out, if most of the people around you are reclusive or social media addicts then you wont be able to escape a lot of the same issues unless you only date older women.

Back then I would meet women on the subway, at the grocery store, at the gym, on the street etc. I still do but when like you said a lot of basic in-person human movements and interactions have been curtailed due to apps/tools like Peloton, Hinge, Instacart, Uber, Zoom etc. then the # of opportunities decline. Then you have to add in the changes in social interactions caused by this + me-too + COVID + social media. And then you have to add into the equation the delusions and unreal expectations caused by globalization, feminism, social media, me-too and dating apps.

It is a typhoon. Anybody denying the grave consequences for all of the above is simply delusional or just stupid. Nobody is saying that the average man shouldnt try their best to adapt. Nobody is saying that men should sit around and complain all day / become incels. Mans are simply saying that the game has changed and is far more difficult. Older brehs should learn to express some sympathy; instead, they judge and ridicule. But that's normal. If it is one thing we can agree on as men, regarrdless of age, it is that nobody cares or has sympathy for your problems. Everything that happens to you is your fault one way or another.

This is why KS was so impactful. He was talking to those of us men who are competitive and noticed in out dating a trend thst we couldnt really explain and he put words to our experiences. Of course the dudes who never stood a chance and non competitive women who want to break out of their social status level were the loudest, but Kev was really talking to the Professional Black Man who did everything he was supposed to and once he was ready for marriage saw literally nothing out here OR these chicks are chameleons ready to self sabotage a marriage due to social media influences (which of course they regret by as a man you already screwed over financially).

 

[RickyDiBiase]

lol give it a rest breh

i've been deliberately avoiding posting in threads on this topic lol

i'll say this. Like Apollo Creed said, people in their mid to late thirties are in the middle. We saw how things used to be, and as a result we know how bad shyt is now. Cause even if you got the game figured out, if most of the people around you are reclusive or social media addicts then you wont be able to escape a lot of the same issues unless you only date older women.

Back then I would meet women on the subway, at the grocery store, at the gym, on the street etc. I still do but when like you said a lot of basic in-person human movements and interactions have been curtailed due to apps/tools like Peloton, Hinge, Instacart, Uber, Zoom etc. then the # of opportunities decline. Then you have to add in the changes in social interactions caused by this + me-too + COVID + social media. And then you have to add into the equation the delusions and unreal expectations caused by globalization, feminism, social media, me-too and dating apps.

It is a typhoon. Anybody denying the grave consequences for all of the above is simply delusional or just stupid. Nobody is saying that the average man shouldnt try their best to adapt. Nobody is saying that men should sit around and complain all day / become incels. Mans are simply saying that the game has changed and is far more difficult. Older brehs should learn to express some sympathy; instead, they judge and ridicule. But that's normal. If it is one thing we can agree on as men, regarrdless of age, it is that nobody cares or has sympathy for your problems. Everything that happens to you is your fault one way or another.

Why do ya'll need older men sympathy is my question.

 

[Ohene]

I once asked my mom why she chose my pops. Her simple answer was that "he was very educated". She said that if nothing else she knew that he'd be able to educate his children. I'm sure it wasnt THAT simple; I am sure my dad being a professor with a good job was a factor and he was probably good looking and charismatic too. But even still, compare that to what you will hear plenty of women say they want in a man nowadays. Compare that to reasons we have all heard women say they rejected a man for, not online but in real life.

Anybody claiming that the game is not harder or different now simply isn't in the field and doesnt actually interact with people in the field. Even my oldest, 47 year old sister tells me that she has single friends who tell her just how hard it is nowadays. It isnt only harder for men...it is harder for any single person - male or female - who actually wants to start and build a serious relationship. Finding p*ssy to fukk is easy. Finding a person with strong, sensible values is where it gets very difficult

 

[Justin Nitsuj]

Great thread.

Now do a sequel asking the same type of question to the older brothas about the younger brothas and watch the thread get more answers in it.

 

[Ohene]

This is why KS was so impactful. He was talking to those of us men who are competitive and noticed in out dating a trend thst we couldnt really explain and he put words to our experiences. Of course the dudes who never stood a chance and non competitive women who want to break out of their social status level were the loudest, but Kev was really talking to the Professional Black Man who did everything he was supposed to and once he was ready for marriage saw literally nothing out here OR these chicks are chameleons ready to self sabotage a marriage due to social media influences (which of course they regret by as a man you already screwed over financially).

Exactly. Just this week in the gems thread there was a brother recently talking about being ready to propose to his girl soon and his girl calling it quits because she found the relationship lacked excitement.

Dudes born in Generation X and beforehand did not have to worry about keeping a chick excited or having to compete against random strangers online. They had women ready to build with them and play the long game. That is an example only millenial dudes and younger can relate to. Why? Because we live in a society where everything is generally on demand and broadcasted.

People like us remember what it was like to wait a week to watch your favourite show and if you missed it....that was that until maybe it came out on DVD. We remember waiting months in anticipation for an artist to drop an album. We remember having to plan simple interactions like phonecalls or going to the movies and sticking to those plans properly because people were not accessible 24-7. These small experiences train one to savour things, to be patient. However now we live in a microwave generation where everything is accessible, everyone is overstimulated and thus everything is devalued.

People are dealing with a completely different animal. I personally also sympathize with some women on this stuff too. Not every woman wants to have a roster of 5 fukkboys...some just want one genuine dude and have trouble finding em

 

[RageKage]

YB need to know OB were once YB and one day if a YB is lucky he will be an OB

 

[Ohene]

Why do ya'll need older men sympathy is my question.

That's a fair question.

It's not that dudes need older men's sympathy...maybe sympathy in general. It's one thing to have people simply not care or say anything...but when you are instead told constantly that you are the problem or that you are not good enough naturally it is going to have a negative impact on your self esteem. Some people are strong and will not care, they have the tools and confidence to still take care of business and block out the negativity. Others will become reclusive. And then you have incels and shyt who harm people.

The bold is why some sympathy and constructive guidance is needed...so shyt doesnt get to that point. There are grave consequences to be had from men withdrawing from or harming society.

 

[RickyDiBiase]

That's a fair question.

It's not that dudes need older men's sympathy...maybe sympathy in general. It's one thing to have people simply not care or say anything...but when you are instead told constantly that you are the problem or that you are not good enough naturally it is going to have a negative impact on your self esteem. Some people are strong and will not care, they have the tools and confidence to still take care of business and block out the negativity. Others will become reclusive. And then you have incels and shyt who harm people.

The bold is why some sympathy and constructive guidance is needed...so shyt doesnt get to that point. There are grave consequences to be had from men withdrawing from or harming society.

But the thing is

you can't go through life expecting people to kiss and coddle you dude

that's not how that shyt works. A bytch will have a field day with a dude like that.

And yes

A lot of people aren't "good enough" but here's the thing- why the fukk would you ever allow that to stop you from getting what you want out of life? We're not just talking getting a piece of p*ssy, across the board, why would you ever take heed to the fact of your imperfections and deny your chance at carving out anything substantial in your day to day life?

It's dude's in wheelchairs who ain't letting bullshyt like "height" stop them from getting what they want.

I can think of a multitude of brothers from their 20's-40's in my immediate area that ain't Johnathan Majors but got a woman holding shyt down for them.

That's why young dudes get clown

no backbone, no sense of self-responsibility and no sense of fukking imagination

A woman is not the end all be all there is for a man, and vice versa. It's not a guaranteed right, it's a privilege to be with someone.

And to wipe away any sense of personal reflection or responsibility for them is doing them a major disservice.