Stand Up Dude or Sucker?

[Dirk Diggler]

@Toe Jay Simpson

That other little girl didn't do anything to him, there's no need to have her growing up resenting his own daughter because of her parents...especially if we talking about a bi weekly arrangement

+1


This is a catch 22. Even though the child isnt his you dont want to have them(siblings) pitted against each other because one was getting treated better than the other and if this is two girls the shyt could be a mess later on in life when they get older. If it were me I would prolly do the same thing the last thing we need is more bitter black women. Treating them the same helps them understand a good bit o things IMHO... The only thing that sucks is he is being penalized for doing the right thing with his own seed

 

[Stuntone]

Good dudes are always getting fukked over. I bet she hounds him to go everything and that deadbeat doesn't pay a quarter.

 

[JT-Money]

Your friend sounds like an rest haven for hoes. He's part of the reason chicks get away with acting so ratchet.

 

[Cynical Thoughts]

Stand-up......takes a hell of a muthafukka to help raise another person's child when they're not obligated to do so

She'll be better off for it, her future will be brighter. *That's what life is all about folks, spreading love to the next generation any way you can

His girlfriend sounds jealous, but the concerns are valid, make sure he knows the laws so he doesn't become lawfully obligated to take care of both kids

It's kids who ain't got one parent though

Life is full of tough lessons. She is with her sister the majority of the time anyway how exactly is her life gonna be brighter if he doesn't take care of a child that's not his just cause its his daughters sibling?

Sounds like his girl is looking out for him not jealous unless she mad he don't take care of her kids.

To your last point. The money shouldn't matter cause hes a stand up guy right. You already paying double what you would have but you gonna cut that off cause you are legally obligated now and not doing it out of the kindness of you heart It's already beginning to affect his person relation w/ his girl.

 

[King Crimson]

he is a good dude.. as long as he can afford it i see nothing wrong with it

This. As long as he isn't at risk of going broke, I don't see the problem. The question is, how much is he doing for the other kid? Is he only taking her out when he hangs out with his kid, or is he coming out of pocket for other necessities for the kid?
If he's only taking her to the park or the zoo or something, that's not a problem. What's 2 ice cream cones or zoo tickets?
If he's buying clothes, shoes and school fees then.
His current girlfriend has reason to feel a ways about it. He could easily get caught up if the baby moms decide to be sheisty.
Just how involved is your boy?

 

[Sharp]

This. As long as he isn't at risk of going broke, I don't see the problem. The question is, how much is he doing for the other kid? Is he only taking her out when he hangs out with his kid, or is he coming out of pocket for other necessities for the kid?
If he's only taking her to the park or the zoo or something, that's not a problem. What's 2 ice cream cones or zoo tickets?
If he's buying clothes, shoes and school fees then.
His current girlfriend has reason to feel a ways about it. He could easily get caught up if the baby moms decide to be sheisty.
Just how involved is your boy?

As far as I know he's not supporting the other child. He just takes her for the weekend when he takes his daughter. If they go to a theme park, movie or something like that, he takes both of them. If he buys his daughter clothes, toys, or something for Christmas, he buys her something too. He also buys her something for her birthday as well. He could be doing more, but I only know what I see and what he tells me.

The way I see it, he spends almost as much time with the other child as he spends with his daughter. His baby mother doesn't have him on child support. His role in both of their lives is identical except for the fact he spends more money on his daughter in terms of day to day expenses.

 

[Cynical Thoughts]

@Toe Jay Simpson

+1


This is a catch 22. *Even though the child isnt his you dont want to have them(siblings) pitted against each other because one was getting treated better than the other and if this is two girls the shyt could be a mess later on in life when they get older. *If it were me I would prolly do the same thing the last thing we need is more bitter black women. *Treating them the same helps them understand a good bit o things IMHO... *The only thing that sucks is he is being penalized for doing the right thing with his own seed

The little time he has really ain't gone influence them that much. Mostly they see a one parent home with the mom cycling men in and out infront of her kids, in turn teaching them how to deal w/men.

*Come to think of it. Take standup outta the choices. Why he aint got his daughter full time. fukk outta here wit my kids around some deadbeat ass nikka my bm is smashing. nikka aint have no respect for his kid or her mother, you think he had love for your kid? Fool shoulda stood up when they split.

 

[Sharp]

The little time he has really ain't gone influence them that much. Mostly they see a one parent home with the mom cycling men in and out infront of her kids, in turn teaching them how to deal w/men.

*Come to think of it. Take standup outta the choices. Why he aint got his daughter full time. fukk outta here wit my kids around some deadbeat ass nikka my bm is smashing. nikka aint have no respect for his kid or her mother, you think he had love for your kid? Fool shoulda stood up when they split.

I don't know his story, but I do know that it's not easy to get full custody of your kids, especially if the woman is willing to fight for it.

I don't really know his baby mother like that either. He doesn't talk bad about her, so I guess she's not a bad person. But then again, I only know what I posted.

 

[King Crimson]

As far as I know he's not supporting the other child. He just takes her for the weekend when he takes his daughter. If they go to a theme park, movie or something like that, he takes both of them. If he buys his daughter clothes, toys, or something for Christmas, he buys her something too. He also buys her something for her birthday as well. He could be doing more, but I only know what I see and what he tells me.

The way I see it, he spends almost as much time with the other child as he spends with his daughter. His baby mother doesn't have him on child support. His role in both of their lives is identical except for the fact he spends more money on his daughter in terms of day to day expenses.

That's what I figured. Personally, I don't see any harm in that. Would I want to be in that situation? , but I can't knock him. The only part that gives me any pause is
"If he buys his daughter clothes..."

Kids grow outta toys, they ain't ever going to stop wanting clothes. What's going to happen when they get older and clothes gets more expensive and he can't afford to give child #2 the same guap he gives his own. That might cause some issues... Maybe I'm looking too far ahead though.

 

[Metta World Movement]

I bet she hounds him to go everything and that deadbeat doesn't pay a quarter.

I bet the deadbeat dad shows up one day outta the blue, talkin' about "I wanna see my child "

And she be like "Well.....he IS her father and she SHOULD get to know him......"

And then him and the baby mama smash.....and he dips out again.....and she's pregnant again.......

And the stand-up nikka be standin' there the whole time, watchin' the shyt unfold like

 

[King Crimson]

I bet the deadbeat dad shows up one day outta the blue, talkin' about "I wanna see my child "

And she be like "Well.....he IS her father and she SHOULD get to know him......"

And then him and the baby mama smash.....and he dips out again.....and she's pregnant again.......

And the stand-up nikka be standin' there the whole time, watchin' the shyt unfold like

Then he's a fool if he takes that on. One extra kid is whatever, call that his daughter's best friend. Two extra, hell no.

 

[Turbulent]

he's only a sucker if he's getting manipulated/guilted into it by the BM on some level.

 

[yeahisaidit]

Your friend is a standup guy. Not many men/women are mature enough to give gifts or be a positive male/female role model in someone else's life. My mother did this with my little brother, even though he was conceived during my parents' marriage.

 

[Cynical Thoughts]

I bet the deadbeat dad shows up one day outta the blue, talkin' about "I wanna see my child "

And she be like "Well.....he IS her father and she SHOULD get to know him......"

And then him and the baby mama smash.....and he dips out again.....and she's pregnant again.......

And the stand-up nikka be standin' there the whole time, watchin' the shyt unfold like

Right, I basiclly said this above.

I know of a situation close to me similar.

Deadbeat daddy ain't around and child support kicking his ass and he sees his kid is happy with the mother and her new boyfriend on Facebook. Then he start sending her messeges about why don't he just adopt her.

Boyfriend aint having that so now the bd wanna see her cause his other kids wanna see they sister. Now she tells me, they told her daughter don't talk to her boyfriend and shyt like that. And dude been caring for this deadbeats daughter for a couple years. Now he like.

All that time spent w/ her basiclly went out the window cause her "dad" who has been in her life about 10% to this other dude 90%.

Like I said no good deed goes unpunished. Hope it's different for this dude though.

 

[Clapsteel O'Neal]

the people in this situation also have to be weary of creating an awkward relationship between the sisters. The other kid may feel left out or unloved if your boys daughter gets 'fatherly' attention all the time whilst she has a father that's nowhere to be seen. Young kids do notice them types of things. So maybe without even knowing it, he's doing the best thing possible. It'd be different if both of the girls had active fathers in their lives



he's a better man than me though