We were both out of state on a project staying at separate hotels in a different city. I didn't find out she wanted me to smash until months later when we had to talk for a different project and she got real flirty. I assumed from her situation of being married and how she spoke about her husband and kids that she wouldn't even be thinking about cheating like that. I looked at it like catching up with an old friend. I've kicked it with male and female coworkers in their rooms and my room before without it being a sexual thing. At the time I was on the road a lot for work and after a long day that was normal. Different relationships have different boundaries. There are plenty of couples that are okay with flirting as long as it don't go beyond that. It seems like a lot of y'all lack experience actually talking to different people.
The one who is showing inexperience and naivety is you.
I'm not in here talking about "I only found out she was down to fukk until she let me know months later that that's why she invited me to her room for drinks".
I am telling you right now. People who respect their marriages or relationships do not put themselves in that position. Talking about what some couples don't have a problem with, what other colleagues do, what you've done, is just more of you ignoring red flags.
The bottom line is, you cannot use yourself as some example of what is harmless when you have shown yourself to be completely oblivious.