Stupid ish your mind created as a kid....

[darius19]

I thought regular white milk came from cows like this:

and that chocolate milk came from cows like this:

 

[ProfessionallyTrill]

I love Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, especially the second one (The Secret Of The Ooze).

In the movie there was a container of ooze that would make you superhuman:

So when I was in my pops garage I saw this (a fuse)

I swallowed it thinking I would transform

 

[rocksteady]

 

[Token]

Speaking of that karate stuff.

-I thought all Chinese people knew karate....and could fly across trees.

-I thought lions were the males and tigers were the female version of lions.

- I got bit by a spider and thought I was gonna turn into Spidergirl or something. I was walking around for god knows how long doing that little thing with my hand to see if a web would fly out.

 

[Lewis Black]

I remember when I was 6 years old my brother and the older dudes use to sing get down on it. Now when you're 6 years old you don't catch the lyrics but you catch the flow and what my brother sang was the legit version to me.

This one time I was in the car with my moms and the song came on and I sang that chorus like I was taught and I got slapped ??????

This is what I sang out loud twice

Get down on it
Suck my bonnet
If you don't like it
please don't try it

Get down on it
Suck my bonnet
If you don't like it
please don't try it




Moms:

 

[Token]

^^^^^ Me and my sisters used to do the same thing with "Too Close" by Next.

I listened to that song again like 3 months ago like I didn't know this was about sex.

 

[Crakface]

When i would drive with my mom i would stick straws inside grapes and throw them out the window and imagine they were b-m-s knocking cars off the road.

I thought when my mom was a kid the world was in black and white. She showed some video footage my grandfather took that was in color and i was like

 

[Lewis Black]

If I had to get something in the middle of the night, I would go downstairs like:

*Eats food*

Me: Hey this aint so bad? The fukk was I scared

*hears slight noise*

Me:

*hears faint nose again*

* runs upstairs with this face "

*goes to bed with this face *

 

[BrownSound]

when i was lil i thought girls peed out their butt

 

[you're NOT "n!ggas"]

i dumped my 'girlfriend' in kindergarten by gettin some sticks and leaves together on a piece of paper and actually dumpin it on her head

Whenever we went on long rides I use to envision a man running beside the car doing tricks over everything we rode past.

me and my cousin used to act like it was a race sometimes. tryna get my moma to actually drive faster like " they bout to pass us hurry! hurry up!!! *sucks teeth* we in 2nd place now " traffic lights was checkpoints

 

[Nick Barnes]

Whenever we went on long rides I use to envision a man running beside the car doing tricks over everything we rode past.

I did that same shyt, sometimes he would even be on a skateboard

 

[ThatKidBlackHippy]

I thought regular white milk came from cows like this:

and that chocolate milk came from cows like this:

 

[resurrection]

-I used to see this evil face on the wall of my bedroom at night.. sinister green eyes/evil grin, thought it was after me and just waiting for me to be alone to torture me. I'm sure it was just reflections on the wall from some green light in the room

-I would swear up and down there was a witch hiding in my basement. I had absolutely no evidence of this whatsoever. Just thought there was one

-There's a big ass water tower in my town that you can see from a lot of different places, especially my neighborhood cuz I live really high up on a hill. Not really me, but my best friend thought it was Disneyland

 

[James Carter]

 

[duncanthetall]

When i was like 4 or 5 i thought boys and girls had the same body parts untill my aunties (whose two years older) friend whose like 14-15 showed me her naked body when i slept over her house one day had me like

Me:whats up with your chest
Her: i have breast *lets me touch*
Me:
Me: why do you have hair down there
Her: im a girl. Our parts are different
Me: *reaches hand to rub*
Her: boy stop you too young
Me:

I dunno how to tell you this, playboy, but that bytch was a predator.