Suicidal Thoughts & How To Overcome

Ronnie Macho

Banned
Supporter
Joined
Dec 26, 2013
Messages
6,226
Reputation
865
Daps
12,747
Have you changed your diet or started exercising at all? Granted it's not a cure but there's a lotta good shyt that goes on in the body when you exercise. Plus, you'll look good naked, which is always good.

Yeah...I changed my diet 3 months ago...organic everything almost...don't eat meat anymore...just straight fruits and vegetables and seafood...(crab legs and shrimp...:myman:)...it has helped with some of the sluggishness but the meds is what's really makin' a difference...so I know I have to get this shyt together with therapy so as not get hooked on the meds...I'm going to start exercising again and hit the boxing gym with my nephew next month...he's gonna be possibly movin' in with me next month...him and my daughter...so I will have a lot of responsibility comin' my way in a month or so...gotta keep my head right for them and it helps that they'll be coming to live with me so I won't be so alone...
 

Lost His Smile

Stop Existing.
Supporter
Joined
Feb 25, 2014
Messages
4,642
Reputation
900
Daps
10,775
Reppin
The 12th Dimension
Im BP Type II so yeah...I get these intrusive thoughts every once in awhile.

I just try to apply mindfulness and DBT skills when the need arises.

I wish I was hypomanic right now tho. Stability is a chore.
 

Ronnie Macho

Banned
Supporter
Joined
Dec 26, 2013
Messages
6,226
Reputation
865
Daps
12,747
Thanks for sharing OP. You probably wouldn't know but I have my bouts with that motherfukkerr and in the past and I refused medication after seeing a therapist but I'm starting to rethink it. Things just started improving for me after 7 years of hell. But I agree exercise and diet helps to an extent but that motherfukkerr can strike whenever for me.

You're welcome homie!...Yeah...that shyt when it hits...is like a ton of bricks...as a man...you don't wanna cry because it's ingrained in you that it's sucker shyt to do...I can't even cry properly because I was raised with that mentality...I can't even fornicate in my dreams for fear of sinning against God...from when I was in a cult as a youngin'...and I don't even fukk with religion no more...but the brainwash is still in there...the meds is just to bring your brain chemistry and serotonin levels back up and balanced...once balanced you won't need the meds anymore provided you solved the issue that sent you into depression in the first place with therapy...I find that using the meds and therapy is working for me...I haven't felt this "normal" or great in over 10 years...here's to life getting better!...:salute:
 

Ronnie Macho

Banned
Supporter
Joined
Dec 26, 2013
Messages
6,226
Reputation
865
Daps
12,747
Idk but I'm consumed by suicidal thoughts daily... Just gotta live life man

That shyt ain't good bro...get help for that shyt or therapy/meds...mental health is real...and us men don't like to admit that at times...praying that your thoughts become more peaceful and balanced breh!....I'm trying to do the best I can myself...I know it ain't easy...like someone said to me...we just gotta get up...get out and be do something...anything...to take your mind off that pain...
 
Joined
Nov 27, 2016
Messages
532
Reputation
41
Daps
1,409
You're welcome homie!...Yeah...that shyt when it hits...is like a ton of bricks...as a man...you don't wanna cry because it's ingrained in you that it's sucker shyt to do...I can't even cry properly because I was raised with that mentality...I can't even fornicate in my dreams for fear of sinning against God...from when I was in a cult as a youngin'...and I don't even fukk with religion no more...but the brainwash is still in there...the meds is just to bring your brain chemistry and serotonin levels back up and balanced...once balanced you won't need the meds anymore provided you solved the issue that sent you into depression in the first place with therapy...I find that using the meds and therapy is working for me...I haven't felt this "normal" or great in over 10 years...here's to life getting better!...:salute:

Thanks again. All corniness aside. I'm glad I read your post because it feels better knowing there are people who feel or felt like me especially what you said about not being able to openly show emotions or properly express your feelings. I came from that kind of life and childhood. And the part about bricks because that's how it feels and when people saw me sleeping too long or withdrawing from social life they didn't understand these things. Thanks.
 

Ronnie Macho

Banned
Supporter
Joined
Dec 26, 2013
Messages
6,226
Reputation
865
Daps
12,747
Im BP Type II so yeah...I get these intrusive thoughts every once in awhile.

I just try to apply mindfulness and DBT skills when the need arises.

I wish I was hypomanic right now tho. Stability is a chore.

No doubt...I had a childhood acquaintance who was bipolar...and saw the many mood swings and outbursts he would go thru...that's good that you apply
mindfulness and DBT when necessary...may peace be with you...
 

Ronnie Macho

Banned
Supporter
Joined
Dec 26, 2013
Messages
6,226
Reputation
865
Daps
12,747
Thanks again. All corniness aside. I'm glad I read your post because it feels better knowing there are people who feel or felt like me especially what you said about not being able to openly show emotions or properly express your feelings. I came from that kind of life and childhood. And the part about bricks because that's how it feels and when people saw me sleeping too long or withdrawing from social life they didn't understand these things. Thanks.

No problem homie!...Society ingrains in man...that he is good for utility and bill payments...nothing more...like a man doesn't have a heart...mind and feelings...:childplease:
Yeah...unless you speak with a doctor and therapist or someone who suffers from the illness...they won't understand...they think you can just "think positive" and everything will be alright after saying some affirmations...well the brain don't wanna hear that shyt when it's out of balance...gonna need meds to re balance that chemistry...for so long I've had no interest in life or living...having panic attacks at the thought of failure each day...going thru all this shyt with no friends or support is crazy...they say loneliness to a man is the second worse thing that can happen behind losing a child...I'm the man in the moon over this mug...it's like I'm outside the club...and they won't let me in...

447ce6741712644b6ca1dab0d67f827b_crop_north.jpg
 

Wildin

Veteran
Supporter
Joined
May 14, 2012
Messages
22,992
Reputation
7,253
Daps
70,932
Good honest thread.

Some people don't understand how depression affects, not it effects, but how it affects others. Its a disease of the mind.

People don't understand that. If you've ever suffered from a bad case of the flu or been really sick where your body is weak and you basically lay in bed waiting to heal, sleeping then waking up still sick, laying there, falling back to sleep, still waking up not feeling 100%. That is what some bouts of depression feel like.

If you've ever done a full body workout and your body is just sore, and you wake up and you feel the soreness in your legs, your arms, your back, your chest. Thats what bouts of depression can feel like only its not when you've just worked out. Its just from living. If you do work out and youve felt weak, or had days when you cant lift as much - that feeling of weakness those thoughts of "Well i've done this amount of weight before" or "ive done this many reps before" that makes you feel weak and even worse when you physically fail, is what bouts of depression feel like.

There can even be headaches, joint pain, toothpain, chest pain, high blood pressure associated with depression. People already know about lethargy.

There's an ebb and flow, a good and bad. People always say, find some good friends, spend time with them. You can't just put on a mask and go kick it with the homies. If they really know you they can see it in your face and in your body language that you arent feeling well. Now you are having counseling sessions with the homies. Sometimes that is necessary, but not all the time. People say, go work out. You can always make time to workout, but negative thoughts can plague your mind during and after a workout.

There is a power associated with positive thinking. Communicating with others (venting, expressing your feelings and emotions and thoughts) with others relieves stress and tension. Being physically active works and helps. So does eating right and not putting foreign substances in your body i.e nicotine/alcohol/drugs (marijuana) Some people will say no caffeine, others are adamant about having some nicotine or smoking pot, its important to have positive coping habits.

There is no one size fits all approach, method, or trick to managing depression. An individual needs to discover and implement what they need and whats appropriate in their moment. Its important to find and utilize appropriate self control strategies. Managing depression at home,vs at work, vs in a grocery store are 3 different bouts, just as its different at 8 am, 5pm, 3am, or when its raining, snowing, or sunny. Be present minded and live each moment as its own.
 
Joined
Nov 27, 2016
Messages
532
Reputation
41
Daps
1,409
No problem homie!...Society ingrains in man...that he is good for utility and bill payments...nothing more...like a man doesn't have a heart...mind and feelings...:childplease:
Yeah...unless you speak with a doctor and therapist or someone who suffers from the illness...they won't understand...they think you can just "think positive" and everything will be alright after saying some affirmations...well the brain don't wanna hear that shyt when it's out of balance...gonna need meds to re balance that chemistry...for so long I've had no interest in life or living...having panic attacks at the thought of failure each day...going thru all this shyt with no friends or support is crazy...they say loneliness to a man is the second worse thing that can happen behind losing a child...I'm the man in the moon over this mug...it's like I'm outside the club...and they won't let me in...

447ce6741712644b6ca1dab0d67f827b_crop_north.jpg

It's wild because that mentality that's ingrained actually leads to more unhealthy shyt like domestic abuse or becoming witness to abuse when the cause could be addressed before the blow up or breaking point.

I'm making plans today to see a therapist. I'm a lot better today than I was 2 or 3 years ago but I can't control certain thoughts and feelings. It's a battle but it's getting better. I finally got back in to school and I reconnected with my childhood friends but I agree it's much better having friends when you go thru it. Especially when they can be understanding or you can be open with them about this. I still have certain friends I haven't told but they the type to judge me or change their behavior so I'm conflicted about it. Thanks again G.
 

Ronnie Macho

Banned
Supporter
Joined
Dec 26, 2013
Messages
6,226
Reputation
865
Daps
12,747
It's wild because that mentality that's ingrained actually leads to more unhealthy shyt like domestic abuse or becoming witness to abuse when the cause could be addressed before the blow up or breaking point.

I'm making plans today to see a therapist. I'm a lot better today than I was 2 or 3 years ago but I can't control certain thoughts and feelings. It's a battle but it's getting better. I finally got back in to school and I reconnected with my childhood friends but I agree it's much better having friends when you go thru it. Especially when they can be understanding or you can be open with them about this. I still have certain friends I haven't told but they the type to judge me or change their behavior so I'm conflicted about it. Thanks again G.

That's good man...I wish you well with therapy and hope that it helps with those certain thoughts and feelings...they say it's a battle of the minds...but didn't think you would have to battle your own mind...let alone the minds of others...those friends you haven't told don't sound like much friends at all...you did right not to say anything to them...always trust your gut feeling!...No problem homie!...:salute:
 

Ronnie Macho

Banned
Supporter
Joined
Dec 26, 2013
Messages
6,226
Reputation
865
Daps
12,747
Good honest thread.

Some people don't understand how depression affects, not it effects, but how it affects others. Its a disease of the mind.

People don't understand that. If you've ever suffered from a bad case of the flu or been really sick where your body is weak and you basically lay in bed waiting to heal, sleeping then waking up still sick, laying there, falling back to sleep, still waking up not feeling 100%. That is what some bouts of depression feel like.

If you've ever done a full body workout and your body is just sore, and you wake up and you feel the soreness in your legs, your arms, your back, your chest. Thats what bouts of depression can feel like only its not when you've just worked out. Its just from living. If you do work out and youve felt weak, or had days when you cant lift as much - that feeling of weakness those thoughts of "Well i've done this amount of weight before" or "ive done this many reps before" that makes you feel weak and even worse when you physically fail, is what bouts of depression feel like.

There can even be headaches, joint pain, toothpain, chest pain, high blood pressure associated with depression. People already know about lethargy.

There's an ebb and flow, a good and bad. People always say, find some good friends, spend time with them. You can't just put on a mask and go kick it with the homies. If they really know you they can see it in your face and in your body language that you arent feeling well. Now you are having counseling sessions with the homies. Sometimes that is necessary, but not all the time. People say, go work out. You can always make time to workout, but negative thoughts can plague your mind during and after a workout.

There is a power associated with positive thinking. Communicating with others (venting, expressing your feelings and emotions and thoughts) with others relieves stress and tension. Being physically active works and helps. So does eating right and not putting foreign substances in your body i.e nicotine/alcohol/drugs (marijuana) Some people will say no caffeine, others are adamant about having some nicotine or smoking pot, its important to have positive coping habits.

There is no one size fits all approach, method, or trick to managing depression. An individual needs to discover and implement what they need and whats appropriate in their moment. Its important to find and utilize appropriate self control strategies. Managing depression at home,vs at work, vs in a grocery store are 3 different bouts, just as its different at 8 am, 5pm, 3am, or when its raining, snowing, or sunny. Be present minded and live each moment as its own.

This was an excellent write up/response man...I'm speechless!...You have described EXACTLY what depression is and FEELS like...thank you for that homie!...I or anyone else could not have said that any better...I never thought there would be people that know exactly word for word how this shyt goes...I didn't even know about all of this shyt about depression until 2 months ago and your post definitely helped break it down in an easier way that helps explain this shyt better to people that don't understand...anyone reading your response should be able to understand or get the gist of what depression feels like for someone afflicted by it...though they may not be able to relate fully as they don't suffer from the disease...Thanks again for that!!!...:salute:
 

Karb

Veteran
Joined
Nov 20, 2016
Messages
12,297
Reputation
16,119
Daps
73,133
If you're a spiritual person, then you know that killing yourself ain't much of a solution. Who is to say that what's on the other side won't be infinitely worse than what you're dealing with now? Like you said breh, the spirit doesn't really die it just moves from one realm to the other, so killing the body won't solve what is essentially a spiritual problem.

Hang in there breh, you're one of the realest ones on this forum. :salute:
 
Top