support me and get me famous. I'll give the first 10 posts $10000 if i sign a deal edit: second page

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Helen Of Troy had a good concept...The flow you tried out was ARD but you kept word stuffing like you're not comfortable with that rhyme style yet. You should re record it and emphasize different words.

Hella hoes? I liked the cocky swag...you still word stuffin like shyt, though. Try to at least make one of the rhyming words hit the snare, whether it's inside or outside the bar...I see what you're trying to do with the unorthodox flow...just rein it in and control it a bit.

3rd jawn....you gotta control your bounce, your voice...shyt sounds like you're arguing with yourself a lil bit from 1:16-1:21 trying to catch the beat. You gotta do that whole jawn over again, fam. The bars are there, everything's there, you sound like you just one track hov shyt instead of maybe punching in?
You should rewrite to that beat, I think, and keep the general outline of the original bars.
 
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Not bad at all. Gotta listen again in the car. Phone speakers aint getting it. Just saw you were from the Midwest. I have a few contacts in GA (nowhere near I know) that I'll put on to ya sound if you want. Besides just blow, what you tryin to do?
 

Rembrandt

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:manny: I'll support

real. i got you.

Helen Of Troy had a good concept...The flow you tried out was ARD but you kept word stuffing like you're not comfortable with that rhyme style yet. You should re record it and emphasize different words.

Hella hoes? I liked the cocky swag...you still word stuffin like shyt, though. Try to at least make one of the rhyming words hit the snare, whether it's inside or outside the bar...I see what you're trying to do with the unorthodox flow...just rein it in and control it a bit.

3rd jawn....you gotta control your bounce, your voice...shyt sounds like you're arguing with yourself a lil bit from 1:16-1:21 trying to catch the beat. You gotta do that whole jawn over again, fam. The bars are there, everything's there, you sound like you just one track hov shyt instead of maybe punching in?
You should rewrite to that beat, I think, and keep the general outline of the original bars.

really appreciate it, my nikka. i remember you saying you make music so i definitely appreciate the feedback. it's lowkey working backwards. i might be fukking up, but they go from newest to oldest in how i recorded them. flow has always been something i had difficulty with, especially with tryna stuff too many words into one bar. it's something i'm working on more and more. being concise hurts because i like expressing with lines/wordplay, but i took a break to find out how to break longer shyt into shorter lines that fit the beat and leave it open for me to come into.

i got something coming before the end of the year. message me your soundcloud or anywhere we can stay in contact bruh. idk if you'll want my feedback, but i'll definitely listen to whatever you drop and got stewing up.

and discount free money, my nikka. as an artist, you know how valuable feedback is, especially from sites you fukk with. you won't turn down 10k if i offered it to you.

Not bad at all. Gotta listen again in the car. Phone speakers aint getting it. Just saw you were from the Midwest. I have a few contacts in GA (nowhere near I know) that I'll put on to ya sound if you want. Besides just blow, what you tryin to do?

anything really. i direct, shoot and edit music videos, too. i got a homie in atlanta. i'm really up for whatever as long as it's legal and creative. hmu and i'll support your contacts.
 

T.H.E. Goat

I alone am the honored one
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I liked Helen Of Troy and Yeezy Rant, all you really missing is a more polished flow

Edit: @R$G META said it best, if you use less words in some of your bars it'll flow a lot smoother

You a young breh?
 

Rembrandt

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I liked Helen Of Troy and Yeezy Rant, all you really missing is a more polished flow

Edit: @R$G META said it best, if you use less words in some of your bars it'll flow a lot smoother

You a young breh?

21 as of this year. the flow been a neverending battle. i've worked on it a lot in recent tracks i haven't dropped yet. brevity is the soul of wit and all that - shout out shakespear.
 
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