As one who used to work in youth programming, can't no one roast you like a 2nd grader.
Cuz it's just observations, no malice, no yelling, just facts.
I remember one time my assistant got roasted by proxy. We both had dreads at the time but mine were freeform so one of our students says.
Student: "Mr. (my name), I really like how your dreads look its cool."
Me: "Thank you, lil bro! Takes alot of time and care to keep em nice and clean!"
Student: "Oh wow, I didn't know. How do you keep em from pulling your hairline back like Mr (my assistant's name)?".
Me:

My assistant: