The eyes of my children

[Hathaway]

I sit here in a drunken stupor in the room of my children. Staring at the walls. My 2 boys. The remnants of my legacy. I wonder what they see when they look upon their father. They love me. I love them. They are the foundation of my suffering. They are the foundation of my love as well. Bitter sweet.

I fukked up. But life is blissful to them. Simple. They are unaware of t or thehe pain. The struggle. The effort I put forth to support them.

I have an increasingly bad drinking problem. I'm in control on most days. Then there are days like this. A little tequila. A little whiskey. Numbs the pain a bit. Emphasis on a bit. I need it.

Most people are unhappy. I walk among that crowd. I am a veteran. An alumni actually. What do I do to contend with this? A dead end job that I'm about to quit to go slave in a factory for more money. That money used to pay off debt. That debt paid off to further my education. Graduate. Become a teacher. That is my reality. Atleast I have a plan. My hopes and dreams victims to my bad decisions. Dead. Homicide. Reality is brutal l
I don't want to be a teacher but I paved this road and now I just travel it. This road is a bumpy one. I struggle along it to be a father and a husband. At this point, I am bad at both. My wife deserves better and so do my children.

 

[Dynamite James]

You need to seek therapy. It’s not hard to do. Just do a google search. The alcohol is making things worse.

 

[MR. SNIFLES]

WELL THE FIRST STEP IS ACKNOWLEDGING THE PROBLEM. GET SOME COUNSELING BREH.

 

[Flexington]

Yeah man, if you're not in therapy or getting some sort of counseling you really should. I feel like I remember you posting feeling kinda low a while back too sayin you didn't know how you felt about your marriage.

It's good to vent, just don't get caught up stewing in these negative emotions without addressing the cause of these feelings and finding ways to improve your situation. You create the feeling of hopelessness.

I'm sure you heard it before but @Afro has great info.

 

[Brolic]

WELL THE FIRST STEP IS ACKNOWLEDGING THE PROBLEM. GET SOME COUNSELING BREH.

The Coli is our solace

 

[Jimmy from Linkedin]

get a fukking grip.
make a decision.
stop drinking.
read this book

My Father Before Me: How Fathers and Sons Influence Each Other Throughout Their Lives​

my father before me - amazon​

get @2Quik4UHoes to send you all the Amos Wilson books

change your username and pic. Greatness aside, be careful of replicating the behaviors of the artists you hold in high regard. For your sons, you cannot end up like Donny. Life is a very delicate process.

if you aren't good at talking about your emotions, start right now moving some woodchips and make a garden for you(r boys). build SOMETHING. your kids are picking up on your wack shyt. Don't have them be just like you, have them be a better version of you.



you've got it (if you truly want it)

 

[maxamusa]

I feel like you're gonna morph into the dad in purple rain. that aint cool breh.

 

[Neo TheInsurrectionistONE]

Breh if I knew where you lived, I'd call the police. Please don't harm that beautiful black family. If you need to pack yourself up, do that and I will personally smoke on a @Hathaway pack but please leave the babies out of it.

 

[Paper Boi]

 

[The BasedFather]

Wondering what happened to you breh

Need to get some help asap and quit the drinking. Get outta that state and go somewhere nice. Vaguely remember you saying something about not truly loving your wife. Maybe just be alone for a minute

 

[Ghost Utmost]

OP

These good Brehs are lightweight clowning... which I cannot criticize them for... that's the main purpose of these boards. Fukcery.

Lemme try to write something helpful.

G-d does not send you to Hell, nor make you stay.

G-d is Love. Not ALL love, but all the good comes from G-d.

(All the BAD comes from G-d too. The source)

To sum it up: You build your castle of misery yourself. Wherever you find yourself, you fought and scraped to get exactly where you are.

Likewise, you can find your way out of there and to the right place.

 

[010101]

..........*

 

[Hoodoo Child]

I sit here in a drunken stupor in the room of my children. Staring at the walls. My 2 boys. The remnants of my legacy. I wonder what they see when they look upon their father. They love me. I love them. They are the foundation of my suffering. They are the foundation of my love as well. Bitter sweet.

I fukked up. But life is blissful to them. Simple. They are unaware of t or thehe pain. The struggle. The effort I put forth to support them.

I have an increasingly bad drinking problem. I'm in control on most days. Then there are days like this. A little tequila. A little whiskey. Numbs the pain a bit. Emphasis on a bit. I need it.

Most people are unhappy. I walk among that crowd. I am a veteran. An alumni actually. What do I do to contend with this? A dead end job that I'm about to quit to go slave in a factory for more money. That money used to pay off debt. That debt paid off to further my education. Graduate. Become a teacher. That is my reality. Atleast I have a plan. My hopes and dreams victims to my bad decisions. Dead. Homicide. Reality is brutal l
I don't want to be a teacher but I paved this road and now I just travel it. This road is a bumpy one. I struggle along it to be a father and a husband. At this point, I am bad at both. My wife deserves better and so do my children.

 

[BunchePark]

the devil is a lie

and the world is abundant

there is joy n pain in everything

stay locked in

 

[Wig Twistin Season]

You like being weak OP? You have health, intelligence, the blessing of a family and here you sit complaining to strangers and blaming your children for contributing to your addiction. If you’re looking for sympathy, I’m afraid I don’t have any to add, but I can tell you this, you’re deciding to be remembered as a weak, pathetic man. You’re going to miss out on a lot if you continue down your current path. Your kids will barely know the real you. And when you’re dead no one will miss you. Get your shyt together and seek help.