The General Mills Chronicles.

[beanz]

 

[Silkk]

Dawg...............

 

[King Theo]

Sorry brehs. I've been MIA. I will try and finish this one up today or tomorrow. I've been stupid busy at work.

I will say this. Pretty Boys dad got a nice lil right hook.

we need the rest of the story!

 

[Sampson]

 

[duncanthetall]

I'm tryna

 

[Black Ball]

I have taken my sweet time and off of this thread for like over 2 weeks. I have never had to wait for a story to end before. I don't even know how long the pauses be when yall be complaining for the General to finish a story.

But now I'm all caught up and I fully expect to reach the end of another piff story But no, now I gotta wait like everybody else

This gotta be the greatest running thread in the history of sohh/the-coli.

To my nikka the General

I am so immersed into these stories, hoping everytime you catch that W. But mostly I'm laughing hysterically because I know that in the end you made it out ok if you're still able to write up these piff stories.

I pray the Lord never hands you that final L my brehthren.

 

[beenz]

Sorry brehs. I've been MIA. I will try and finish this one up today or tomorrow. I've been stupid busy at work.

I will say this. Pretty Boys dad got a nice lil right hook.

 

[patscorpio]

Pretty Boy comes skidding in to the kitchen. .

I go running to the back door and tell them to come on!! Danger is getting raped!!!!

Pretty Boy looks at me like.

Rape? Then he goes on no oh no no no no NO NO NOOOOO!! And he sprints past me and runs out the door. I follow on his heels and we run around back! Danger is still getting his a$$hole spelunked when he sees Pretty Boy. He tries to run and I hear Danger squeal. . . 8 Ball will not let that ass go. . .

Pretty Boy grabs a big stick from the ground and runs at them!! 8-Ball tries to run away too but somehow they got stuck?? Now they are facing different ways both dogs trying to run but 8-Ball still has his dikk buried in Dangers ass no homo.

What kind of shyt is this??? How tha fukk did this happen??? Meanwhile Pretty Boy is scaring the fukk out of the dogs with the stick! They are both literally trying to run in different directions. . . Finally I hear an audible "pop" and they separate. Danger runs right into the house with nut leaking out of his ass.

Pretty Boy - MY DAD IS GOING TO FREAK OUT!

Me - Did you know that 8-Ball is gay?

Pretty Boy - Gay?? Danger is a female.

Me -

 

[General Mills]

My apologies fam. Got super busy at work and home and could not get to it. To make up for it I am finishing this one right now and I will also post another L tomorrow too.

Lets gooooooo

 

[Racked Up]

My apologies fam. Got super busy at work and home and could not get to it. To make up for it I am finishing this one right now and I will also post another L tomorrow too.

Lets gooooooo

 

[General Mills]

Danger is massive. It did not occur to me that he could be a she.

I am looking so damn stupid!! In front of Ms. Trinidad no less. Then I remember something he said.

Me - Hold up. You said your dad is going to go nuclear? I would want to apologize for the car and Danger.

Pretty Boy - My dad is going to want to fight you straight up.

Me - So you think I should make myself scarce?

Pretty Boy -

Pretty Boy decided we were going to head back to his sisters house. From there we would go out tonight and then the next day we would just try and be where his dad is NOT. While we were driving I told him that I am not feeling his sister. I did not even know he had a sister until he told me when we were driving up. Naturally I asked him if she was single and he said yes.

He did not tell me she looked like whale shyt. He then confessed. .He had been gassing her up about me for months. She had seen pics of me and all. She was ALL ABOUT ME. And we are staying at her townhouse for two days. smh

We go into her house. I run in the bathroom to piss. . . .As I am washing my hands the door flings open and its Precious. . . . .

Precious - Hey. . I meant to ask you..

fukk. This chick is aggressive.

 

[General Mills]

Nah I am not married. . . Then we both stand there looking at each other awkwardly for at least 20 seconds. She backs out of the doorway to let me out. . As I get in the doorway she steps back up and we are momentarily pinned together crotch to crotch. Well crotch to belly.
I start to squirm and I can not move! She grins and then SHE lets me go. She is basically telling me she is going to take the dikk at any means necessary.

I dip and run and check on Pretty Boy! We get back in the whip. He shows me around town. We run at a few ho's in the mall. Buy some kicks. All in all a good day. We then go back to Precious's house to get dressed to hit some club.

As I am getting dressed In the spare room I notice the doorknob slowly turning!! But I knew this was coming. I had already locked that bytch.

As we were leaving Precious ask's Pretty Boy where we were going and gives him a spare key so we can get in if she is not home. We leave and hit this club. It was It was a mix of people and the music was good and the honeys were out.

What do they put in the water in Birmingham? FAT Asses! White and black! And mad friendly! I was looking at locking this one chick down when I hear GO GO GO GO

There is a big circle in the middle of the dance floor. Someone is getting busy on the floor. Hopefully some chicks twerking! I get closer to see who is getting down.... Then I see who it is.

 

[General Mills]

I elbow Pretty Boy and tell him to look. Pretty Boy takes a gander. . See's his sis on the floor getting low. Then he jumps over a low railing and lands right next to his sister!

Then he starts dancing with her! They had some kind of lil dance routine set up and soon they have the whole club clapping and hollering! I am stunned at this turn of events.

And I dont know if it was the fact that I was a lil tired from driving all day. . Or feeling the effects of the three long island ice teas I had out of mason jars in the club. . But Precious was amazingly limber and flexible in spite of her Jurassic size. Twice she scrubbed the ground and he ass was literally touching the floor. I shook my head and snapped out of it!!


Then I hear... CMON GENERALLL! CMON MAN! Its Pretty Boy telling me to come and join them dancing! fukkkkk... I tell the lil spanish chick I was hollering at that I will be back. I jump in the lil dance circle and we are all wiling out having fun. I soon forget all about honey dip and me, Pretty Boy and Precious have a ball. We are soon back at the bar and I am like I am in a town I dont know well and I am driving. No more for me. Precious informed me that she took a cab here and is taking one home. She already has the cab money put aside. Then she puts another long island in my hand and looks at me like.

Her logic was impeccable.

 

[General Mills]

After the 5th one of these I lost count.

I was Vaguely remember dancing hardbody, getting more drinks, dancing on Precious. . . I also remember the lil Spanish honey I was hollering at looking at me like .

But hey it was all fun! We catch a cab back to her spot. Precious had drank alot. I mean Andre the Giant amounts of liquor. She looked barely fazed. She kissed her brother on the forehead. Kissed me on my cheek. And told us she will see us in the morning. Then she waddled her rotund ass upstairs to bed.

Me and Pretty Boy are just chillin on the couch. .

Me - Hey. So just to make sure. We are NOT going back to your parents house right? I wanted to see Ms. Trinidad again.

Pretty Boy -

Nah. Dad is coming home tomorrow afternoon. We are going to have you out of sight cause when he see's the damage to his Vette. I dont know what he is going to do.


We are relaxing when Pretty Boys cell goes off. He answers... Then looks at me like Then comes a knock on the door. . He looks at the door. . Looks at me . .

I got a girl picking me up breh. Met her at the club. He opens the door and this BAD DARK SKINNED CHICK! HE DIPS!

 

[LimitedEdition]

*birdman hand rubs*