Silver Surfer
Veteran
Im back in Duval next month!!!!
The General Mills Chronicles.
- Thread starter General Mills
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Trajan
Veteran
What happened after that . .I was out to sea Brehs. S.S. Minnow.
I did not wake up until like 10 minutes later according to my homies. The story everyone told me was that the suicide bomber who punched my head off had me lined up perfect. As soon as I cleared the bleachers he dove from damn near the top and punched me on the way down.
They said he was like a bird of prey. . He really laid all the way out to hit me. So much so that after he punched me he could not even protect himself from the fall. When he hit the floor he hit damn near face first and a tooth flew out.He was dedicated as fukk to knocking me out.
As he was laying on the ground damn near the whole ship started stomping dude the fukk out. So in the aftermath he was laying there beside me and we were both snoring.
Homies woke me up cause the cops were coming. . They dragged me out. I remember being hella foggy and asking over n over if any dimes saw me get knocked out.
The Message
Lex with tv sets the minimum
Mills Da Gawd. I admire a person who's not afraid to make fun of himself or provide admissions of social ether. lol
This is one of threads I refuse to read at work because I cant contain the
I'd be in mad trouble. haha
This is one of threads I refuse to read at work because I cant contain the
I'd be in mad trouble. haha
Money Be Green
Superstar
Lmao. I haven't had a good laugh in a minute. Keep it up
General Mills
More often than not I tend to take that L.
ha! thanks homie. I was really thinking of writing a book. I have so many more breh. Its crazy. For the longest I would tell the stories. . but never really realized how funny and tragic they were.
Everytime I go to a party my old roomate makes me tell everyone the story about me almost drowning in boot camp.
General Mills
More often than not I tend to take that L.
Yea bruh we gone have to link up soon for some drinks w/the other Duvals goons on here. This is long overdue
Im down brehs. Duval-Set!
General Mills
More often than not I tend to take that L.
Mills Da Gawd. I admire a person who's not afraid to make fun of himself or provide admissions of social ether. lol
This is one of threads I refuse to read at work because I cant contain the
Thanks breh breh. None of these things actually hurt me long term. . Well I have not been in a pool since I went to boot camp. Other than that no long term effect. So I enjoy repeating them for everyone to enjoy.
In the Myspace days I used to post them in my blog. Had people rolling. That was the first time I thought
I need to really get these out here. I may be onto something. .
General Mills
More often than not I tend to take that L.
The Virgin Islands Debacle
Now this set of stories covers two islands and also Miami. So bear with me brehs.
I was in the Navy. We pull into St. Croix first. Me and about 5 homies get off the ship and decide to visit this bar that was basically a straight shot from the pier. It was about a half mile inland. The thing was that after you walk inland a couple of blocks you are past the tourist area. Everything starts looking poorer and poorer and the real island is there with the real locals.
Normally as young chaps that is exactly where we wanted to go.
We get to this little bar. It has cutouts for windows but no window panes.
It had a little bar and dance floor etc. . After sitting down for a few minutes it is apparent that this is a brothel. 
Which was cool. The chicks were ok. . But I was not really looking to pay for none just yet. Maybe after I struck out with the locals I would revisit. . But for now me and the homies were glad to be off the ship and were drinking beers.
Now. . . . One of the homies starts talking to a chick in there. Being a brothel she is of course mad friendly. He was new to the ship and his head was sprung.
We all look over at him and assume he knew the deal and he wanted to pay. . So whatevers. .
Well the time comes. . She asked him if he wants to go upstairs. He pulls me to the side.
Homie -
yo yo !! This chick likes me! She wants me to go upstairs with her!
Me -
Why are you talking to me about it. Go upstairs if you want nikka. We aint stunting you.
Homie -
You dont have to act salty cause you do not have a girl!
Me -
It still did not occur to me how he could not know what this is. . . .So he goes upstairs. . He is gone for a bit. . Then we hear yelling and shyt. Homie comes flying down the stairs pullin up his pants. He got a Hasim Rahman on the side of his dome.
Now this set of stories covers two islands and also Miami. So bear with me brehs.
I was in the Navy. We pull into St. Croix first. Me and about 5 homies get off the ship and decide to visit this bar that was basically a straight shot from the pier. It was about a half mile inland. The thing was that after you walk inland a couple of blocks you are past the tourist area. Everything starts looking poorer and poorer and the real island is there with the real locals.
Normally as young chaps that is exactly where we wanted to go.
We get to this little bar. It has cutouts for windows but no window panes. It had a little bar and dance floor etc. . After sitting down for a few minutes it is apparent that this is a brothel. Which was cool. The chicks were ok. . But I was not really looking to pay for none just yet. Maybe after I struck out with the locals I would revisit. . But for now me and the homies were glad to be off the ship and were drinking beers.Now. . . . One of the homies starts talking to a chick in there. Being a brothel she is of course mad friendly. He was new to the ship and his head was sprung.
We all look over at him and assume he knew the deal and he wanted to pay. . So whatevers. .Well the time comes. . She asked him if he wants to go upstairs. He pulls me to the side.
Homie -
yo yo !! This chick likes me! She wants me to go upstairs with her!Me -
Why are you talking to me about it. Go upstairs if you want nikka. We aint stunting you.Homie -
You dont have to act salty cause you do not have a girl!Me -
It still did not occur to me how he could not know what this is. . . .So he goes upstairs. . He is gone for a bit. . Then we hear yelling and shyt. Homie comes flying down the stairs pullin up his pants. He got a Hasim Rahman on the side of his dome.
General Mills
More often than not I tend to take that L.
So we are all like HOLD UP HOLD UP HOLD UP!!
What is going on!! The situation went from island laziness to Defcon 5 in 10 seconds. The chicks starts yelling that he did not pay!!
We all look at homie and he is I did not know she wanted money!!!
Somebody said. . Pay the man then breh!! Dumb homie replied. . She wants 50 and I only have 5. . . . .
So we all start scrambling in our pockets. . As we are counting out we get to 45.00 bucks. between us. The guy behind the bar says. . Because of the problems the cost is now 100. Or we are beating your asses. .
At this point. All 5 of us were on the same exact wave length. . . We all eyed the door and it was blocked. The side door was blocked. There was only one way to get out.
The windows that had no panes.
We all break for the different windows and we all dive outside. I land in some prickly bush. 
shyt hurt like the dikkens!
My other homie landed on a chicken Chicken pecked the shyt out of him. We all make a break for the pier with these island goons in full pursuit. It is a straight shot. So we can see the pier. Them dudes were FAST AS fukk! 
We had a head start on em but they were gaining. That was the longest run of my life. I could literally hear them right behind me on my heels. It seemed like that pier was never going to get closer.
Finally the dudes stopped and we made it to safety.
What is going on!! The situation went from island laziness to Defcon 5 in 10 seconds. The chicks starts yelling that he did not pay!!
We all look at homie and he is
I did not know she wanted money!!!Somebody said. . Pay the man then breh!! Dumb homie replied. . She wants 50 and I only have 5. . . . .
So we all start scrambling in our pockets. . As we are counting out we get to 45.00 bucks. between us. The guy behind the bar says. . Because of the problems the cost is now 100. Or we are beating your asses. .
At this point. All 5 of us were on the same exact wave length. . . We all eyed the door and it was blocked. The side door was blocked. There was only one way to get out.
The windows that had no panes.
We all break for the different windows and we all dive outside. I land in some prickly bush. shyt hurt like the dikkens! My other homie landed on a chicken
Chicken pecked the shyt out of him. We all make a break for the pier with these island goons in full pursuit. It is a straight shot. So we can see the pier. Them dudes were FAST AS fukk! We had a head start on em but they were gaining. That was the longest run of my life. I could literally hear them right behind me on my heels. It seemed like that pier was never going to get closer.
Finally the dudes stopped and we made it to safety.
malbaker86
Gators
General Mills
More often than not I tend to take that L.
We get to the tourist area. We all are bent over catching our breath. The island goons have turned around. We take turns going off on the idiot. Most of the guys decide to head back to the ship. Me and the pretty boy from the other story decide to check out the tourist shops.
This dude. No homo was gorgeous. There is not a gay bone in my body but he had it going on. Pretty Motherfukker 
He got all the girls brehs. 
We walk into this jewelry shop. There I saw the female equivalent of him.
She was working in there with her sister who was a solid 7 herself. But she was 10++++++
Those two locked eyes and it was They both started spitting at each other!
Me and the sister are just standing back there watching this. . I started hollering at sis. My connection was no where near as strong.
But I gave it my best effort. Then this other chick walks in who works with them. She was a amazon. About 5'11. Thick as a snicker and her titays were 
She was as solid 7 herself.
We are all politicking. The girls say. . There is a big block party in some town. Meet us there around 10 and we can show you around. The amazon asked for us to bring another homie with us for her.
This dude. No homo was gorgeous.
There is not a gay bone in my body but he had it going on. Pretty Motherfukker He got all the girls brehs. We walk into this jewelry shop. There I saw the female equivalent of him.
She was working in there with her sister who was a solid 7 herself. But she was 10++++++Those two locked eyes and it was
They both started spitting at each other! Me and the sister are just standing back there watching this. . I started hollering at sis. My connection was no where near as strong.
But I gave it my best effort. Then this other chick walks in who works with them. She was a amazon. About 5'11. Thick as a snicker and her titays were She was as solid 7 herself.We are all politicking. The girls say. . There is a big block party in some town. Meet us there around 10 and we can show you around. The amazon asked for us to bring another homie with us for her.
General Mills
More often than not I tend to take that L.
We get back to the ship. . We grab my one homie who works with me. Dude is a clown like me. We tell him the scoop and he is with it. So we all put on some fresh clothes and go out about 9:00 to catch a cab to this town.
Now here is the contrast. Both of my homies are light skinned. Im dark as fukk.
I never thought this would be a issue. I guess I was wrong. 
We are looking and looking for cabs and cant find any! Somebody told us the place kinda shuts down after 8! There are no busses and the town is hella far. We are PISSED!!
So the homie who works with me says. The next single girl that pulls up in her car to this stop sign. . I am going to spit at her and get us a ride. We are both Alright nikka whatever.
Sure enough. . A car pulls up and this dark skinned chick is in there solo. My boy walks straight up to the window and starts spitting!! I am like This shyt is unprecedented! After a few minutes we see her looking over at us. . Then he walks back over. . .
She agrees to give us a ride. . . If the pretty boy can sit up front. . . . I look at that pretty bytch and he is We get in the whip. I am in the back pretty much amazed. Pretty boy talks her into driving us 30 minutes away. And she gave him her cell # so we can call her for a ride back!!
Now here is the contrast. Both of my homies are light skinned. Im dark as fukk.
I never thought this would be a issue. I guess I was wrong. We are looking and looking for cabs and cant find any! Somebody told us the place kinda shuts down after 8! There are no busses and the town is hella far. We are PISSED!!
So the homie who works with me says. The next single girl that pulls up in her car to this stop sign. . I am going to spit at her and get us a ride. We are both
Alright nikka whatever.Sure enough. . A car pulls up and this dark skinned chick is in there solo. My boy walks straight up to the window and starts spitting!! I am like
This shyt is unprecedented! After a few minutes we see her looking over at us. . Then he walks back over. . .She agrees to give us a ride. . . If the pretty boy can sit up front. . . . I look at that pretty bytch and he is
We get in the whip. I am in the back pretty much amazed. Pretty boy talks her into driving us 30 minutes away. And she gave him her cell # so we can call her for a ride back!!