A fighter
An artist
Unapologetically Black
Hurt
Cold
Emotional
A genius
Lonely
Angry
Optimistic
Pessimistic
Hopeful
Dr X wanted to save you and you wanted to feel good.
Black people want to feel good more than they want to be free, feeling good is at the very top of our unorganized and dysfunctional to do lists. We have meaningless sex to feel good, we spend bill money on shyt we don't need to feel good, we drink and do drugs to feel good, we talk shyt about people with a few nickels less than us to feel good, we buy cars we can't afford and live paycheck to paycheck to feel good, we cheat on people who are loyal to us to feel good.
If you're curious about what a person wants, a good way to find out is to watch what they do. If Black men claim they want to escape the confinement of white supremacy and rebuild our communities then surely they must be taking some sort of action to realize this goal, right?
Look at the Black men you know, look at what they're spending their money on, what they spend their time doing, who they spend their time with and ask yourselves, are they spending money like a person who hates white supremacy, are they spending their time with people who hate white supremacy and are working to destroy it by any means necessary?
There are countless threads here on the coli filled with Black men, if there was a poll where Black men could rank their most pressing concerns, white supremacy would certainly rank the highest and I'd look at the poll results and call bullshyt. Their most pressing concern is feeling good, if all of them had enough money to feel good on demand without fear of ending up broke or homeless, they would be far more tolerable of white supremacy.
If you could rent a section in the club, flood it with bottles and have all the baddest bytches in the club vying to get to know you, you would be far more tolerable of white supremacy. if you could leave the club with the baddest bytch and hop into a Wraith and pull up at a 5 star hotel where you can have your way with her, you wouldn't give a fukk what white people were doing or who they were shooting down in the street, as long as it ain't you.
You want to feel good and you have extremely low tolerance for anything that threatens that, if she's ready to fukk and make you feel good on demand you'll have low tolerance for stopping to make a quick run to the store for condoms, you will gamble your entire life just to feel good, why? Because that's more important to you than anything. You will jump into some p*ssy that you know NOTHING about faster than you will jump into a chair at a town hall meeting where white folk are making decisions about your community, where your local council members aren't able to hear your concerns because you're too busy seeking ways to feel good.
Dr X was extreme and he needs to be with the way he lives his life, uncompromising and unapologetic, having to balance that with discipline to not lash out at every hint of disrespect because he knows bills need to be paid. This is why he would vent here at the Coli, why he would seemingly attack us but in reality he was trying to impress upon us how real shyt is and why we should work towards generating our own income without having to be subservient to people who might have us. He put his money where his mouth is, he branded himself, created beautiful art from the depths of his troubled soul because he was more concerned with fighting back than feeling good.
You nikkas are out here doing whatever it takes to get into some p*ssy. Lying, manipulating, deceiving and all for the sake of feeling good. Women are out here doing the same just to feel good. These are not the actions of people who claim they want to dismantle a system, this is the behavior of people who don't mind that the system exists as long as they can minimize being affected by it and have the means to cope within it.
Dr X made you uncomfortable with your own reflection because he held up the mirror that you try so hard to avoid, he made the mirror so large that you felt the need to attack him so that he might grow weak and drop the mirror. Tonight you've won, he's gone and you can continue to feel good without having to see your disgusting reflections.
Well done.
You got jokes, man
