Religion/Spirituality The official Bizarre Bible Stories Thread

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That ugly ass bytch was posted in TLR on the old site. :stopitslime: She looks like a male 3rd grade spelling bee champion. And she wouldn't marry your dusty bum ass until you got her pregnant to keep her. :laff: :smh:@this c00n ass cac verdean taking karate lessons in your 30s so you can win her father's approval and have light-skinned babies that come out looking like 70 year old Rae Dawn Chongs. Goddamn how can one man be such a loser.
:krs:
 
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I heard the story about the fig tree explained this morning. where Jesus sees a fig tree, goes to grab some fruit only to see it doesn't bear fruit, so he curses it and it withers up and dies, flies off I think, some shyt.

anyways, the preacher said he used to think this story unfair, but it turns out its the trees fault because it presented a false image. Jesus thought it had some fruit, cuz it looked like it, but it didn't. if you're gonna look like you have fruit, you better have some fruit :manny:
So if a bytch got a phat ass in some jeans and im bout to rape her and come to find out its butt pads I have to kill her? :dwillhuh:
 
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