The Top Twelve Reasons Why So Many Good Black Men Are Still Single

[Wild self]

Nothing on there about the obesity problem sistas have?

Its statistically proven that fatter women are least likely to get married. How many fat women get married?

 

[Ziggiy]

I hear what you are saying and I agree and disagree at the same time. It's true there are far more BW that would go for a swagged out dude than a non swagged out BM especially if he was kind of corny on top of it.

But here is the truth. Some of you cats are underestimating the number of BW who want a decent, clean cut educated BM who is handling his business. These IG "models" got y'all f*cked up.

I should know. You would never know it if you met me because I'm tall, have fairly good looks, dress nice, have a couple of nice rides including a "hood tricked out car" but underneath it all I'm far from a player, smooth talking swagged out dude. I have a engineering degree too. Yet I've never had these problems. But I'm not out here in the hoods competing with these dudes for chicken heads. I've smashed a few. But they kind of just fell into my lap.

When I want a relationship with a BW I know how to find it. You have to get in where you fit in. I go to all the black engineering conferences. Meaning BW with who are engineers, project managers, etc. When I tell you the brothers eat at these conferences I'm not exaggerating. These are clean cut black men, no tattoos, they aren't what we'd considered swagged out BM. Some of them are attractive, some of them aren't but they all are eating like crazy. These women aren't impressed by dumb shyt. And it's not just the fact that these dudes have good jobs or money. It's the fact that you are a BM achieving what you are in a system that isn't setup for you to be successful is something they will respect the hell out of you for. Again a certain type of BW, needless to say the IG model isn't that type.

I'm a member of another group that is for the empowerment of the black community. Again same thing. The fact that you are a BM and concerned about something that most dudes aren't even concerned about elevate you above many dudes and make you sexy in their eyes even if you aren't attractive.

These women aren't that hard to find either. I'm not asking you to go into a night club or mall and be a mind reader. There are usually groups and organizations that cater to these people. All you have to do is join them.

Anyway it's working great for me and many other non ignorant black men. So I don't agree with y'all when y'all say non ignorant black men can't get play from black women. Most of my black engineering buddies are married to black women. These aren't unattractive women either. And unlike these broke chicken heads their wives are bringing in serious bank too.

 

[Reality]

The problem is it's a very very very small segment of black women who aren't checking for swag, coolness, ballers and all that. You know it. They wait until they 65 to realize they need something different. You asking people to find the 1 or 5 percent of black women (who are attractive) who would be cool with dating cats like us vs. the 80% we can easily find in other groups. The chick I'm dating right now, I know for a fact wouldnt be dating me if she was black. See as a non-black chick, my corniness doesn't appear readily to her. We actually have similar interests because of it. But if tomorrow she turned black and looked exactly the same (id give a 7.5), she'd would immediately look at me, realize I didn't dress fly enough, didn't act swagged enough, didn't talk hood enough.....she'd know black girls that look like her don't date lame nikkas like me....all her friends would tell her she's with a corny dude and she'd be gone Of course that's her at 22. At 27 or 28, she'd bump back into me and tell me she's ready for a guy like me. She just happens to have two kids now This has happened to me 3 times by the way, hoes ain't want me before but want me now they got kids and their lives all fukked up Had you wanted me before, those could've BEEN my kids and we'd be happy. Now you fukked up and a single mother

Truth. In the same situation.

Also, not to hate, but black female obesity has a part to play in this as well. Just being a thin/in shape black woman puts you in like the 18th percentile of black women. Those women get to choose and go after the ballers, entertainers, etc. Likewise, your educated black dude in the right area wants to choose from like 37% of white women, 23% of Latinas, and that 18% of black women. (Also, these are just the numbers for women over the age of 20 period. I guarantee it looks comparatively worse for black women if you narrow this to 20-35 years old).

This is because male attention is overwhelmingly driven by looks/physique whereas female attention is more complex and driven by, yes, looks, but also status, wealth, fame, etc. So, if you're black woman who is in shape you are going to have a ton of attention often and early. That warps standards and send the hypergamic instincts of many black women into overdrive. Only problem is, to some degree, black women are piss poor judges of potential. The salient examples of black, masculine success today are found in athletics and entertainment, so anything outside of that is foreign to a lot of these women. Part of that is due to a failure of black men, but that's another story.

But anyway, this plays out in funny yet predictable ways. If you were to tell your average white woman that a guy is about to graduate with an MBA, interned at Goldman Sachs last year, and will be working their full time after graduation... that's going to pique her interest in ways it's not going to with the average black woman. On average, black women aren't going to equate that story with success or masculinity to the same degree that an Asian or white woman is. They're just going to have very little idea of what that means until the guy starts killing it as a VP or managing director and it's obvious via cars, real estate, etc.

Anyway, rant over. I don't want to point fingers and I think we all need to do better. Successful black men need to do a better job of giving back and serving as examples to the communities they come from, pulling other blacks up. Likewise I think black women need to take some responsibility as well and recognize the power they have to shape communities not just as mothers, but as girlfriends and wives.

 

[Houston911]

I wish you guys would just come out the closet

Never seen so many guys whine about women so much

 

[lKarukera]

What's with the gender war in the African American community ? . _ .

 

[mamba]

Lol. I hear you and I'm not going to discount your experiences so this post isn't necessarily directed at you but it did get me thinking about one of the big problems I see when it come to BM and BW interacting and dating.

In marketing class they teach something called targeted audience. Quite frankly many us black people(men and women) suck at it. In your post for example I don't think a BM need to add slang to his vocabulary to get a BW. What he should do is go find a BW who isn't looking for that type of dude. We see this all the time with BM who lack the swagger and coolness getting upset when thots that hang out in clubs looking for ballers and semi famous people reject them. What those dudes fail to realize is on the other side of town there are whole bunch of BW who are frustrated and angry because they can't seem to find a decent guy. They don't care about the swag and all that other stuff. They probably won't be in the club either and if they are it won't be the hood club.

Women aren't better at finding their targeted audience. You have the BW who aren't the thots, aren't the drunk sluts or chicken heads that are getting upset because they aren't being chose by the smooth talking center of attention type dudes even though they aren't the freaky, popular wild chick themselves. So they go online, TV, radio and where ever else they can be heard and blast BM talking about how we are are players, only want non white women, in jail and whatever other material they can steal from racists. Well actually that's not the case, it's just some of those BM took themselves out of the dating scene(at least out of the black dating scene) since they weren't getting chose.

It's why so many BM and BW remain single and frustrated. We don't understand targeted audience.

Good analysis.

 

[mamba]

Truth. In the same situation.

Also, not to hate, but black female obesity has a part to play in this as well. Just being a thin/in shape black woman puts you in like the 18th percentile of black women. Those women get to choose and go after the ballers, entertainers, etc. Likewise, your educated black dude in the right area wants to choose from like 37% of white women, 23% of Latinas, and that 18% of black women. (Also, these are just the numbers for women over the age of 20 period. I guarantee it looks comparatively worse for black women if you narrow this to 20-35 years old).

This is because male attention is overwhelmingly driven by looks/physique whereas female attention is more complex and driven by, yes, looks, but also status, wealth, fame, etc. So, if you're black woman who is in shape you are going to have a ton of attention often and early. That warps standards and send the hypergamic instincts of many black women into overdrive. Only problem is, to some degree, black women are piss poor judges of potential. The salient examples of black, masculine success today are found in athletics and entertainment, so anything outside of that is foreign to a lot of these women. Part of that is due to a failure of black men, but that's another story.

But anyway, this plays out in funny yet predictable ways. If you were to tell your average white woman that a guy is about to graduate with an MBA, interned at Goldman Sachs last year, and will be working their full time after graduation... that's going to pique her interest in ways it's not going to with the average black woman. On average, black women aren't going to equate that story with success or masculinity to the same degree that an Asian or white woman is. They're just going to have very little idea of what that means until the guy starts killing it as a VP or managing director and it's obvious via cars, real estate, etc.

Anyway, rant over. I don't want to point fingers and I think we all need to do better. Successful black men need to do a better job of giving back and serving as examples to the communities they come from, pulling other blacks up. Likewise I think black women need to take some responsibility as well and recognize the power they have to shape communities not just as mothers, but as girlfriends and wives.

Average Black woman probably thinks Goldman Sachs is a clothing line.

 

[ThatTruth777]

What's with the gender war in the African American community ? . _ .

I've only heard or read about this online

 

[b_priest9mm]

So if I'm reading this thread correctly, I should turn down other groups of women by default, only make myself available to black women even if that means dealing with all the abuse and rejection?

Otherwise I'm a c00n and only contributing to the problem.

 

[philmonroe]

I wish you guys would just come out the closet

Never seen so many guys whine about women so much

Basically and at minimum admit you not even getting the women of other races these types of dudes like to allude to getting.

 

[boyboy]

What's with the gender war in the African American community ? . _ .

I can of have explained that already. See following quote....It's why so many BM and BW remain single and frustrated. We don't understand targeted audience. Basically it's born out of frustration. You just don't hear BM & BW who are successful in dating each other engage in that crap. It's only the BM & BW who can't get what they want from the other gender in their race.

 

[gonnagetit]

They know what they want and will not settle