The way you carry yourself and react is always a CHOICE

[Shamrock32]

What made you fall into depression and stop writing

A combination of a lot of different things ranging from some horrible family situations, I had an awful relationship with my dad a lot of the time. Dude called me his Bill Buckner and said his life would be better if I wasn't in it. Told me multiple times my younger brother is the son he always wanted. Was not a good father to me in a lot of ways, yet I watched him treat all my younger siblings much better and I resented him for that too even though I was happy they had a better version of dad. I was never comfortable in my own skin all through my school days. My dad fukked me up and I didn't understand how to get over that or channel myself.

My brother and best friend had a heavy drug problem for a long time. He is doing great now, but it was really bad for like 7 years.

I've had a lot of physical problems I was born with. I have had 9 operations... I am completely fine now. But growing up it was a problem and even though it wasn't anything others really were aware of, it hindered my ability to do things and feel good about myself.

I was so absorbed in my own mind with so many different things, some I won't talk about on here, and the combo of everything broke me until I didn't really care.

I went through some things but I was weak.

 

[Dreamzeedream]

A combination of a lot of different things ranging from some horrible family situations, I had an awful relationship with my dad a lot of the time. Dude called me his Bill Buckner and said his life would be better if I wasn't in it. Told me multiple times my younger brother is the son he always wanted. Was not a good father to me in a lot of ways, yet I watched him treat all my younger siblings much better and I resented him for that too even though I was happy they had a better version of dad. I was never comfortable in my own skin all through my school days. My dad fukked me up and I didn't understand how to get over that or channel myself.

My brother and best friend had a heavy drug problem for a long time. He is doing great now, but it was really bad for like 7 years.

I've had a lot of physical problems I was born with. I have had 9 operations... I am completely fine now. But growing up it was a problem and even though it wasn't anything others really were aware of, it hindered my ability to do things and feel good about myself.

I was so absorbed in my own mind with so many different things, some I won't talk about on here, and the combo of everything broke me until I didn't really care.

I went through some things but I was weak.

How your relationship with your father now

 

[Shamrock32]

How your relationship with your father now

We don't really talk that much, man.

I'm not sure if we'll ever be truly good. I mean there's no hostility these days but we don't really talk so it is what it is.

 

[GhettoTeK]

I came across a post in the random thoughts thread and it hit home so I want to quote the post and start a discussion about it. Or at least offer my perspective.

I'm a person that has overcome deep depression and self-hatred, and I've evolved into a happy man that has finally found legitimate inner peace. I understand both sides of the spectrum.

Sorry to put @Regine Hunter on blast but I feel this is a very important topic for all people in general. I'm quoting you because I am essentially quoting a younger version of myself through your post:



Don't put yourself in a box and degrade your own mental capacity.

That insecurity you are allowing to consume your constant train of thought... believe me, it is very noticeable to others.

Be real and harsh to yourself. Carry yourself with more positive energy, confidence and self worth. It WILL make a difference.

But the only way this changes in your mind is if you DO IT. No more sideways pity thoughts about what you could, should or would do.

Don't "accept that you are what you are." Do the opposite. Accept the fact that if you continue that toxic daily state of mind, it is completely accepting defeat and accepting that you are not doing anything about the things about yourself that you WANT to be different... but aren't changing by your own choice of using excuses as the sentiments that define you in your own mind... and YOUR mind only.

Do it or don't. I've been there. Do it or don't. It's your choice whether you want to admit it or not. The way you carry yourself and react is always a choice.

I went from a mentally weak, miserable person who is surrounded by a dark aura and spreads negative energy daily.... to a genuinely happy man with a house, an unbelievable woman I've been with for years, a dog and I'll say it again - I found inner peace.

I understand where Regine Hunter is coming from and I also understand how you can spark inner peace through your own intuition if you are willing to do it.

Stay strong and carry yourself in ways you respect others for carrying themselves. Be yourself and own it. The other side is fukking beautiful. Exert positivity and be your own person, you'll be shocked at what happens subsequently.

Thanks.