We swabbed your nose to see if there was any sinus fluid from damage which would indicate more severe damage than an x-ray would show and found a significant amount of Dookie molecules and phermones. Do you have any idea why we would obtain this result? You said this was a freak accident involving a pillow?
sir we need to know exactly what happened, we discovered a pin worm infestation in your beard
a ring worm infestation in your sideburns, and several slap marks on your forehead
we don't want to assume anything but did you possibly get into a headbutt match with a homeless individual