To the ladies: Why do you expect...

[-----]

Black women are not able to or allowed to be delicate, super feminine, protected, damsels in distress like our white counterparts. We are not placed on a pedestal of ultimate femininity.

Instead because of oppression and white supremacy, we are faced with obstacles that force us to be strong and resilient which is a different type of beauty. Not the one that is celebrated in mainstream media.

A black woman in a damsel in distress situation, is considered lazy and naive or even stupid. A black woman taking control of her life, triumphing through issues, is seen as independent and strong which often gets twisted through sexism and racism as masculine and domineering/unwilling to submit.

Though black men also suffer from the lazy stereotype, in the second situation where they take an active role benefit from the idea of masculinity in assertiveness and ambition. A black man who takes the victim role isn't likely to be respected.

A white woman who takes the victim/damsel in distress can rely on her privilege, desirability and status to be rescued or d for.

Black women often can't really win in either situation.

Sometimes tho, especially in the conscious community. A black woman in who takes an active role in her destiny, who doesn't sit on her laurels, can be seen as a queen. We just have to fight the stereotype of Sapphire.

Keep in mind MANY females dont find black features and hair attractive on men either. Many women like a dose of feminity in men.

 

[Spike Tarantino]

I don't expect anything from them.

I can only hope that I conduct myself with respect and acknowledgement of our shared burden. I'm only accountable for my own actions.

When I was heavy into dating/marrying IR, nothing that a black man could have done would have swayed me at that time.

Experiencing the singularity/superiority of black love was something I had to come around to in my own time. I don't expect anything different from them, nor do I expect them to come to the same conclusion I did.

Just let's me know who to avoid

 

[agnosticlady]

I don't expect anything from them.

I can only hope that I conduct myself with respect and acknowledgement of our shared burden. I'm only accountable for my own actions.

When I was heavy into dating/marrying IR, nothing that a black man could have done would have swayed me at that time.

Experiencing the singularity/superiority of black love was something I had to come around to in my own time. I don't expect anything different from them, nor do I expect them to come to the same conclusion I did.

Just let's me know who to avoid

Interesting perspective....

When did you come around?

 

[wild cherry blossom]

I expect you to be a man and control your own mind not let white people tell you what is beautiful.

 

[Spike Tarantino]

Interesting perspective....

When did you come around?

Around 23 years old. I'd dated/married IR exclusively up until that point.

After finding love with a brown-skinned warrior... let's just say my perspective changed.

I can't project my experiences onto men, or expect them to have a conversion, although I may have a unique insight into their way of thinking

I can only focus on my path and stand firm in my belief that my king is black, and I hope to build a strong black family. Men uninterested in that goal aren't in my equation

 

[-----]

I expect you to be a man and control your own mind not let white people tell you what is beautiful.

It doesnt work like that. Constant exposure takes a constant toll on people mentally. Your not going see whites looking glamours for most of your formative and be unscathed. This goes for both men and women. The same way that black men. We're are all only human.

 

[wild cherry blossom]

It doesnt work like that. Constant exposure takes a constant toll on people mentally. Your not going see whites looking glamours for most of your formative and be unscathed. This goes for both men and women. The same way that black men. We're are all only human.

i really understand what your saying but that shyt has not affected me and i know men it has no effect on so it's a little hard for me to understand why some men can't control their own my is all.

 

[Milk N Cookies]

Black women are not able to or allowed to be delicate, super feminine, protected, damsels in distress like our white counterparts. We are not placed on a pedestal of ultimate femininity.

Instead because of oppression and white supremacy, we are faced with obstacles that force us to be strong and resilient which is a different type of beauty. Not the one that is celebrated in mainstream media.

A black woman in a damsel in distress situation, is considered lazy and naive or even stupid. A black woman taking control of her life, triumphing through issues, is seen as independent and strong which often gets twisted through sexism and racism as masculine and domineering/unwilling to submit.

Though black men also suffer from the lazy stereotype, in the second situation where they take an active role benefit from the idea of masculinity in assertiveness and ambition. A black man who takes the victim role isn't likely to be respected.

A white woman who takes the victim/damsel in distress can rely on her privilege, desirability and status to be rescued or d for.

Black women often can't really win in either situation.

Sometimes tho, especially in the conscious community. A black woman in who takes an active role in her destiny, who doesn't sit on her laurels, can be seen as a queen. We just have to fight the stereotype of Sapphire.

Ahh now I get it. Thanks

 

[Dwolf]

nicca, what?

 

[-----]

i really understand what your saying but that shyt has not affected me and i know men it has no effect on so it's a little hard for me to understand why some men can't control their own my is all.

So none of the males or females you know talk about having Red or lightskinned boy/girlfriends ever ?

 

[agnosticlady]

It doesnt work like that. Constant exposure takes a constant toll on people mentally. Your not going see whites looking glamours for most of your formative and be unscathed. This goes for both men and women. The same way that black men. We're are all only human.

Very true....A lot of black children are exposed to it through the media and their family members well into their early adulthood. It is not as easy to just stop when they have no awareness of their history and etc.

 

[agnosticlady]

So none of the males or females you know talk about having Red or lightskinned boy/girlfriends ever ?

I've seen that before from both black males and females. I would here it more from the females. They would say they want a mixed or light skinned boyfriend. They would say that they want their babies to be light skinned with good hair.

 

[-----]

I've seen that before from both black males and females. I would here it more from the females. They would say they want a mixed or light skinned boyfriend. They would say that they want their babies to be light skinned with good hair.

Exactly. Yet somehow black men are colorstruck villains that hate their women. It goes both ways. I believe that Women are slightly more colorstruck than men.

 

[wild cherry blossom]

So none of the males or females you know talk about having Red or lightskinned boy/girlfriends ever ?

I don't consider dating a light skin person being controlled by white supremacy it's only a problem when you put down other skin tone or a policy of absolutes when it comes to darker skin individuals.

Also I don't know anybody that goes by that team LS/DS I can't be associated with that foolishness.

 

[Timeis$]

Exactly. Yet somehow black men are colorstruck villains that hate their women. It goes both ways. I believe that Women are slightly more colorstruck than men.

It's equal between both genders the men and women who were heavily affected by it grew up in the same type households. Dark skin women are at the bottom of the food chain for the average man. More females of all races will date a dark skin man before males would date a dark skin women. And I say this as a guy that has dated plenty of dark skin chicks.