i tell dudes not to chase SPECIFICALLY because I've chased hoes and have seen where it led me. And yes, "falling" for someone is dangerous business.Stop it please we're all guys here and whether we get play regularly have girlfriends or going through a drought we're all humans, and we all mess up from time to time.
I see posters here talkin bout every little mistake you make with a female = "you probably dont get play "
dudes that say shyt like "nah bruh dont chase that bytch if u a real nikka u should let the bytches chase you.
Or actin like you never fell for a bytch cause yall too cool for life in general, goes to show u aint gettin no play ...playboy actin like you livin in a rap video get off youtube.
To The Too Cool Guys Of The Coli
- Thread starter Trillion
- Start date
So what do you do when you actually fall for someone? How do you act?
I'm asking as a player who is wilding right now cuz I've fallen...and I can't get up!
I think you should let the feeling run through you. Don't repress it and pretend it's not there. But don't hold on to it either. If you choose to hold on to the thought because of the emotional high it provides, you will be on very shaky groundSo what do you do when you actually fall for someone? How do you act?
I'm asking as a player who is wilding right now cuz I've fallen...and I can't get up!
Another thing you can do is to walk yourself through it logically. Ask yourself the hard questions. and stay away from the cliché answers. only facts. Check your ego. Ask yourself why you have fallen for her? Why do you feel "need"? what is she providing to you?Why do you want it to come specifically from her? The times I felt that way ("in love", "under her spell", etc) looking back, it was mostly ego. I wanted someone to be mine. And then once she made me feel like she was mine by giving herself to me and catering to me
. Imagine the feeling of having a fellow human being who's working towards the same cause as you (and that "cause" is your happiness). That shyt touches your heart. Like a chick who would do anything to see you be happy and realie your dreams. 
that's what makes you fall for her sometimes. Sometimes you even think you're not worthy which makes you even more insecure about one day her "waking up". All those mixed feelings is what you get from her. You get high off of it. You get high off the the feelings she's providing. High off your own ego.Again, it's natural. I don't suggest pretending you don't feel it. What i suggest is to recognize it, think of it logically, think of what makes you happy, why it makes you happy, be at peace with it and being ready to lose it, realizing you decide what your happiness depends on. You've decide it you need her love to be happy so you've handed her control over your happiness.
Instead, make your happiness dependent on deeds, not people. Don't tell yourself "I need her to love me to be happy because she's loyal, supportive, honest, fukks like a champ, etc" instead, shift your mind to "I'm happy with her because she's loyal, supportive, honest, fukks like a champ, etc". Your love should ALWAYS be conditional. If she stops being those things you need, and shows no willingness to get better, then you need to think logically and realize she doesn't have a monopoly on those things. Stop viewing her as the source of your happiness.
Some people confuse this with not loving or caring for her or not being attached to her. What I'm saying is to be conscious of the level of attachement you have towards her, what exactly makes you attached to her and always keep that in perspective. Deal with cold facts, not dreams, mirages and what it could be.
Anyway, that's just my 2 cents...
First things I'll say is I'm happy as fukk with my life, and I haven't attached my happiness to anything external.I think you should let the feeling run through you. Don't repress it and pretend it's not there. But don't hold on to it either. If you choose to hold on to the thought because of the emotional high it provides, you will be on very shaky ground
Another thing you can do is to walk yourself through it logically. Ask yourself the hard questions. and stay away from the cliché answers. only facts. Check your ego. Ask yourself why you have fallen for her? Why do you feel "need"? what is she providing to you?Why do you want it to come specifically from her? The times I felt that way ("in love", "under her spell", etc) looking back, it was mostly ego. I wanted someone to be mine. And then once she made me feel like she was mine by giving herself to me and catering to me
Again, it's natural. I don't suggest pretending you don't feel it. What i suggest is to recognize it, think of it logically, think of what makes you happy, why it makes you happy, be at peace with it and being ready to lose it, realizing you decide what your happiness depends on. You've decide it you need her love to be happy so you've handed her control over your happiness.
Instead, make your happiness dependent on deeds, not people. Don't tell yourself "I need her to love me to be happy because she's loyal, supportive, honest, fukks like a champ, etc" instead, shift your mind to "I'm happy with her because she's loyal, supportive, honest, fukks like a champ, etc". Your love should ALWAYS be conditional. If she stops being those things you need, and shows no willingness to get better, then you need to think logically and realize she doesn't have a monopoly on those things. Stop viewing her as the source of your happiness.
Some people confuse this with not loving or caring for her or not being attached to her. What I'm saying is to be conscious of the level of attachement you have towards her, what exactly makes you attached to her and always keep that in perspective. Deal with cold facts, not dreams, mirages and what it could be.
Anyway, that's just my 2 cents...
As for the rest, I feel you. Lemme ask you this though, after going through this process and the feelings are still there, then what? Or how do you negotiate this viewpoint with allowing yourself to be selfless in a relationship?
First things I'll say is I'm happy as fukk with my life, and I haven't attached my happiness to anything external.
The feelings are not the enemy. The goal is not to fight the feeling. The goal is to remove what's not necessary. To do that you must be conscious of what is inside of you and why. If after going through this process, the feeling is still there then you just accept it and be at peace with it (while keeping the "why" in perspective).
As far as being selfless, i personally don't believe in it. Or rather your "selflessness" has to be conditional. I don't believe in unconditional love.
Cool. I've actually gone through this process with the chick who currently has my heart...and I know what the "why" is and I've checked my ego, and thoroughly analyzed my feelings and the situation...and my feelings are what they are, but the situation may not be what I want it to be in the end, and I've accepted that and have allowed myself to live my life and be happy regardless. I mean, I'm doing a certain level of chasing, but not sacrificing my own personhood in the process. I DO need to reign it back a little, as I'm a very passionate dude and sometimes I get ahead of myself with my emotions...it's a work in progress for the kid.
The feelings are not the enemy. The goal is not to fight the feeling. The goal is to remove what's not necessary. To do that you must be conscious of what is inside of you and why. If after going through this process, the feeling is still there then you just accept it and be at peace with it (while keeping the "why" in perspective).
As far as being selfless, i personally don't believe in it. Or rather your "selflessness" has to be conditional. I don't believe in unconditional love.
As for selflessness, I mean as much as the other person is deserving of it.
NegStop it please we're all guys here and whether we get play regularly have girlfriends or going through a drought we're all humans, and we all mess up from time to time.
I see posters here talkin bout every little mistake you make with a female = "you probably dont get play "
dudes that say shyt like "nah bruh dont chase that bytch if u a real nikka u should let the bytches chase you.
Or actin like you never fell for a bytch cause yall too cool for life in general, goes to show u aint gettin no play ...playboy actin like you livin in a rap video get off youtube.
mortuus est
Veteran
Stop it please we're all guys here and whether we get play regularly have girlfriends or going through a drought we're all humans, and we all mess up from time to time.
I see posters here talkin bout every little mistake you make with a female = "you probably dont get play "
dudes that say shyt like "nah bruh dont chase that bytch if u a real nikka u should let the bytches chase you.
Or actin like you never fell for a bytch cause yall too cool for life in general, goes to show u aint gettin no play ...playboy actin like you livin in a rap video get off youtube.
lol stop taking the internet so srs bro, you gots to chill.