To those who don't know who their father is.....
- Thread starter Apollo Creed
- Start date
Straight up, especially the state of Blacks in America, in 2015 any man or woman who thinks sleeping around is cool needs to be tossed to the damn bushes. IMO You shouldn't sleep with someone you aren't fine with being the father/mother of your kid, and both of you need to have that understanding before hand. It's too real out here to treat sex like its no different than playing candy crush.
Say word? I didn't know that. I thought your parents were married.I've never met him but it wasn't not normal to me. Life has always been good
I know many Coli clones make fun of people who grew up without a father but my questions are serious. Given the connection between me and my dad and how it crushed me when he was murdered i cant imagine never having known him.
Dont get me wrong. My dad isnt like these typical new-age parents trying to be your best friend. Dude ws hardcore old-school haitian. By all account i'd say he was tougher on me than anyone. He knew how to motivate me and how to push me to achieve more. Most people who knew him thought he was a supreme a$$hole especially since he barely spoke to other people. Trust me if my dad said "good morning" to you that mean he holds you in high regards.
But the man was good in many ways. He always used to say thet "long after im gone you guys will see WHY i pushed you the way i did and you will thank me. I dont care if i get into heaven or not. But when you realize i was right all a long just make sure you SAY IT. That will be heaven enough for me"
Turns out the mofo was right. Sometimes when me and my mom sit and talk and to hear her, who bumped heads with my dad again and again, admit he was right all along all these years about many things in life makes me wonder if dude was n that Nostradamus (sp) sh!t
Dont get me wrong. My dad isnt like these typical new-age parents trying to be your best friend. Dude ws hardcore old-school haitian. By all account i'd say he was tougher on me than anyone. He knew how to motivate me and how to push me to achieve more. Most people who knew him thought he was a supreme a$$hole especially since he barely spoke to other people. Trust me if my dad said "good morning" to you that mean he holds you in high regards.
But the man was good in many ways. He always used to say thet "long after im gone you guys will see WHY i pushed you the way i did and you will thank me. I dont care if i get into heaven or not. But when you realize i was right all a long just make sure you SAY IT. That will be heaven enough for me"
Turns out the mofo was right. Sometimes when me and my mom sit and talk and to hear her, who bumped heads with my dad again and again, admit he was right all along all these years about many things in life makes me wonder if dude was n that Nostradamus (sp) sh!t
don't know my fatherI don't even want to have the convo with my momz...
id rather it go thru an aunt
One thing I will say is there are some situations where at the time you think your pops is in the wrong for leaving your mom and that him leaving means he now is beefing with you or even that it could be partially your fault, but then as you grow older and become a man you can see his POV and understand why he left. At the end of the day you can be married 15 yrs and things just not work out, in reality its easy to say work things out, but especially in America lets be real Blacks dont have a blue print to go on of how to have a successful marriage, in the grand scheme of things many peoples grand or great grandparents are a generation removed from slavery, so what examples do they even have to look at to say "this is what marriage should be".
I don't even want to have the convo with my momz...
id rather it go thru an aunt
We hold old people so some mythical accord as if Old folks can't be dusty or weren't dusty. We act as if being a hoe or bum is something that started in 1990. Being that I`m older now I`m at a point where I only give respect to people who deserve it. I see bum dusty grown folks daily and have zero respect for them because in a sense they are the ones responsible for creating the problems in my generation.
no...your absolutely right...I agree..
True. I've talked extensively with both parents on their marriage, why they divorced, and why my father was negligent. So I know everyone's story luckily. I have forgiven him as I've gotten older and realized he ain't shyt (still ain't to this day regarding me) and I've accepted who he is. It was hard tho when I was younger. But for the majority of my life I never really knew the truth. Didn't get it until last year and in almost 30
When things like this happen i sometimes look at the woman and wonder what they may have done to contribute to it
Typically if a man is around his child for 3 years and had time to bond with said child it's unlikely that they will abandon the child once their relationship with the mother falls apart.
At least that's what I would like to think.
Some women are scorned and use children as a weapon on some "well if i aint good enough for you then you aint good enough for my baby" type sh!t. Not saying thats always the case but It's worth looking into the womans part when a man abandons a child they bonded with
True. But my mama didn't do shyt. Dad ended up on crack and was strung out at the end of their marriage.When things like this happen i sometimes look at the woman and wonder what they may have done to contribute to it
Typically if a man is around his child for 3 years and had time to bond with said child it's unlikely that they will abandon the child once their relationship with the mother falls apart.
At least that's what I would like to think.
Some women are scorned and use children as a weapon on some "well if i aint good enough for you then you aint good enough for my baby" type sh!t. Not saying thats always the case but It's worth looking into the womans part when a man abandons a child they bonded with
He ended up on drugs when she was pregnant with me. I spent the majority of my time with my grandparents and my mom. Never really bonded with my dad that I know of.
Yeah i hear ya.True. But my mama didn't do shyt. Dad ended up on crack and was strung out at the end of their marriage.
This black american chick i'm very close to was in a similar situation from what she told me. She knows and is cool with her dad now but she and her sister and her bro didnt grow up around him. He got hooked on drugs and missed about 20+ years of their lives.
Her mom managed to raise them all by herself (with the help of family of course) and they turned out okay as she made sure they were focused on their education. Shes got her Masters and now working as a marketing professional for HP in Cali. Her sister is a successful lawyer in L.A. Her bro is an accountant in DC (i believe.. never met him). All single in early to mid 30s no children doing their thing.
Something should be said about their mom's ability to focus on her kids while dad lost himself in the drugs. They now keep in touch with the dad but he's basically like a stranger to them at this point and there's no making up for all the time lost.
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