Toxic Singlemotherhood

Nicole0416_718_929_646212

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Why they angry?
Dont know why a woman who is not a single mother feels that she has a place to speak on what she hasn't experienced especially without having a reason for her statement. But anyway... Not all single mothers are angry- there are types that are angry bc they blame the father of the child for all the problems/issues, or they lack resources, depressed because they see themselves in a never ending cycle without alternatives. This is due to lack of resources, education, mentality is not where it should be. They realize they made a series of detrimental decisions, instead of being accountable or they may have made the right decisions - but the father is not meeting the expectations. Regardless, the worse is to blame the kids or emotionally neglect them, that's the real issue - When a selfish mother lets the anger have a spiraling affect on the kids. Now on the flip side of that- other single mothers channel that negative energy, and see their kids as motivating factors. They sacrifice their wants for the child. F all the naysaying, "Let me get on my grind and channel my anger into workable situations beneficial to my kids"- Anger is not necessarily a problem when it's used effectively and not as a means of coping or lashing out. Nothing like having a hard day and just sitting there laughing/joking with your kids, having family support, black men to provide guidance and being able to provide a lifestyle that accustoms them to a better standard of living despite the odds of what the "culture" states.

There are those mothers who are not angry but may express anger bc they're tired of the people going with that stereotypical representation bc they don't have the notion that black single mothers (with the right purpose and intent) can have effective co-parenting relationships, career options, and raise smart, productive children to the extent of having the experience and aspiring to better themselves. There's more angry and desperate single women, that I've seen, period, bc they realize that they are running out of options as they get older, their past grabs for attention and whoring around lead them a rode to nowhere and their simp handouts are running dry just as sure as they are ran through. Therefore, it's the old misery loves company, falling into place. They tend to run off jealousy and insecurity especially when said "single mother" is more successful and stable, than them. Not gonna lie - an aint shyt woman, aint shyt and aint shyt mothers, aint shyt. Any woman who can't get their shyt together is going to be a problem. But let's not act like both are not detrimental to the community. I'm of the perception that if I see a woman that needs help, and I'm in a position to do so - or if I see she's in a negative way (even a man, if we're keeping it a buck) and they're coming with the right mental - I'm not judging, I'm going to do what I can to look out- maybe they just needed someone to listen or a few dollars to get by, you never know what could make the difference.
 
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FeloniousMonk

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Them Lo Lifes...
Not really. Homophobia and masculinity is discussed in the media and society is changing as a result.

Women believe they are doing fine because no one is talkin about the consequences and women like Amber Rose, Cardi B, and Black Chyna promote that type of shyt and call it empowering.
Yet is society changing for the better?

I see more acceptance than assistance.
 

Miss Lucifer's Love

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First let me say that there seems to be a misunderstanding of the term "toxic masculinity" not just here but in the general public. Toxic masculinity refers to the performance of a "brand" of masculinity that is harmful to both men and women. Examples include not being able to show emotion, having signs of affection between men seen as gay, having to respond aggressively to everything to avoid being seen as "soft," being made fun of for having "unmanly" interests, etc. The idea isn't that masculinity is bad but that men are doing things in the name of unrealistic masculine standards that aren't good for them or anyone else. Internet feminists try to make it about all masculinity being toxic but they've changed the narrative from an idea started by men for men to anti-male rhetoric.

Anyway...
I do think there's aspects of single motherhood that can be toxic, especially to young boys. A lot of boys are groomed into some kind of pseudo-husband role that turns them into emotional providers at a very young age and continues the evolution to financial providers once he's grown. It's really a parasitic relationship and the boy often does end up resenting his status even if he doesn't fully understand or acknowledge those feelings. And that often results in them having a difficult time in romantic relationships later in life.

Plus a good number of kids are being raised by single women with narcissistic traits (which in itself is a defense mechanism due to their own unstable upbringing, failed relationship, poverty, PTSD, anxiety, depression, etc.) leading to a fukk ton of issues in their adulthoods.
 

Rekkapryde

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TYRONE GA!
Dont know why a woman who is not a single mother feels that she has a place to speak on what she hasn't experienced. But anyway... Not all single mothers are angry- there are types that are angry bc they blame the father of the child for all the problems/issues, or they lack resources, depressed because they see themselves in a never ending cycle without alternatives. This is due to lack of resources, education, mentality is not where it should be. They realize they made a series of detrimental decisions, instead of being accountable or they may have made the right decisions - but the father is not meeting the expectations. Regardless, the worse is to blame the kids or emotionally neglect them, that's the real issue. When a selfish mother lets the anger have a spiraling affect on the kids. Now on the flip side of that- other single mothers channel that negative energy, and see their kids as motivating factors. They sacrifice their wants for the child. F all the naysaying, "Let me get on my grind and channel my anger into workable situations beneficial to my kids"- Anger is not necessarily a problem when it's used effectively and not as a means of coping or lashing out. Nothing like having a hard day and just sitting there laughing/joking with your kids, having family support, black men to provide guidance and being able to provide a lifestyle that accustoms them to a better standard of living despite the odds of what the "culture" states.

There are those mothers who are not angry but may express anger bc their tired of the people going with that stereotypical representation bc they don't have the notion that black single mothers can have effective co-parenting relationships, career options, and raise smart, productive children to the extent of having the experience and aspiring to better themselves. There's more angry and desperate single women, that I've seen, period, bc they realize that they are running out of options as they get older, their past grabs for attention and whoring around lead them a rode to nowhere and their simp handouts are running dry. Therefore, it's the old misery loves company, falling into place. They tend to run off jealousy and insecurity especially when said "single mother" is more successful than them. Not gonna lie - an aint shyt woman, aint shyt and aint shyt mothers, aint shyt. Any woman who can't get their shyt together is going to be a problem. But let's not act like both are not detrimental to the community. I'm of the perception that if I see a woman that needs help, and I'm in a position to do so - or if I see she's in a negative way (even a man, if we're keeping it a buck) and they're coming with the right mental - I'm not judging, I'm going to do what I can to look out- maybe they just needed someone to listen or a few dollars to get by, you never know what could make the difference.

ja0zq.gif
 

Nicole0416_718_929_646212

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Toxic masculinity in the black community is constantly discussed now, but we never hear anything about single mothers in the black community in the mainstream media. Some of these women are out here twerking on snapchat in front of their sons, recording their toddlers recite NBA youngboy songs, selling p*ssy, getting ran through by a different man every week while their child is in a different room, etc. I haven't seen any psychologist or sociologist on TV talk about how this type of behavior negatively affects black children.
OP I hear you but you have women that support this shyt because they think it's a way to have a come up or think it's cute, trying to normalize sex culture and the inclusion in it. Rather than the women who participate in this being shamed; the women that speak out against it or try to instill some sense of value are the ones being attacked and shamed. Basically, you have one aspect of women telling them "this is not it, do better, set a better example". Then you have their voices being drowned out by the " why are you shaming me for showing my ass, if you need to use men then do what you gotta do" It happens on the internet, all. the. time. The frustration is real for you as it is for us.
 

Wild self

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black female dysfunction has never been up for discussion in our community

accusations of self hatred, bitterness, divisiveness, not getting p*ssy, misogyny or even being an agent can be hurled at you for even trying to do so

but we have no qualms about discussing the problems some of our brothers have. fascinating when you think on it

Yeah, its disgusting how that is normalized. Too many weak-willed dudes co sign dysfunction to get some ass from these broads. The over-indulgence of sex ruined the focus of a healthy black community.
 
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