Stay with your husband for the financial stability and just do what you want on the side. He established that you have an open marriage due to his affair. He really was going to have a babby on you

Do you really want to go back to that lifestyle with the DB? Stabbing nikkas (was that your 1st husband or this DB), carry 1/4 pounds in "the other purse"

nah don't do it. You shouldn't have to wait for a man to "get it together" at 35+ years old to be a family again. He should have got it together when you daughter was born