Orbital shyt stain. Get your wet booty havin ass out of hereso i'm in the bathroom section of the store and a salesman comes up to me says "Hello, skid marks right?"
i'm likeand he repeats himself "Skid marks are the worst right, a bidet will sort you right out.
i tell him that i don't have a skid mark problem and that i already own a bidet and that i'm looking to upgrade.
i then told him i wanted something with an air dryer, self contained water heating and a heated seat.
he goes"You serious about them skid marks, huh?"
me:
him:
me: Yo can you just...
him: Have you seen out laundry machines?
Went bidet shopping, accused multiple times of having skid marks.
- Thread starter Orbital-Fetus
- Start date
PortCityProphet
Follow me to the truth
Muafukka prolly got a fetish 
Muafukka prolly got a fetish
he called me today.
he must've got my number through the company.
he didn't even try to sell me a bidet, he kept trying to sell my laundry machines.
Me: Hello?
Him:
Remember me from when you were shopping for a new bidet? Me:
nah, breh. You got the wrong number. Him:
Stop playing, I"m in a new department now. Been trying to get into the laundry game for a minute. Me:
Oh, you making moves? HIm:
like bowels...Me:
Him:
Me: What are you getting at?
Him:
You know...Me:
You really gonna bring this full circle to skid marks? then the call ended.
RhodyRum
Mark Gassed-A-Heaux
Unless your post-defecation cleanup involves a shower, a wash-rag, some elbow grease, and soap, all that "lemme hit my butthole with a stream of water" cleansing is pure half-steppin.
Maybe even less.
FACTS.
Hoshi_Toshi
Superstar
Salesman said he’s heard all the excuses before. Just cut right to the chase on they ass.
CreepyMcCreeperson
Veteran
Those are ugly kids.
humminbird
Veteran
you take a shower every time you shyt?Unless your post-defecation cleanup involves a shower, a wash-rag, some elbow grease, and soap, all that "lemme hit my butthole with a stream of water" cleansing is pure half-steppin.
Maybe even less.
FACTS.
humminbird
Veteran
because someone who cleans themselves properly IS royaltyI just upgraded to a $200 electric bidet with heated water and air drying action and a squatty potty. I feel like I'm shytting like a king
Bone Bender
Superstar
Better pray this not gonna be a cable guy situation.he called me today.
he must've got my number through the company.
he didn't even try to sell me a bidet, he kept trying to sell my laundry machines.
Me: Hello?
Him:
Me:
Him:
Me:
HIm:
Me:
Him:
Me: What are you getting at?
Him:
Me:
then the call ended.
he called me today.
he must've got my number through the company.
he didn't even try to sell me a bidet, he kept trying to sell my laundry machines.
Me: Hello?
Him:
Me:
Him:
Me:
HIm:
Me:
Him:
Me: What are you getting at?
Him:
Me:
then the call ended.
Breh you a grown ass man with skid marks on your jeans not even your underwear your f’ing jeans 
RhodyRum
Mark Gassed-A-Heaux
As long as I'm home or crashing at a spot where I have my towel, yup. Now I only drop one deuce a day, two occasionally, so it's not like I'm in the shower all day every day lol. I just feel disgusting if I don't cleanse the booty properly.