I dont ask God for anything..i feel like he doesnt want to be bothered so i leave him alone..i still have faith and believe in him tho
You haven’t truly accepted God then. You’re supposed to talk to God about the deepest things going on with you, things you wouldn’t tell anyone else. Give it to God. Also, give thanks for the blessings you do have. You got a roof over your head? You have food? You have any family/friends? Do you have courage? What are your positive personality aspects? Your talents? Give thanks for those things, be grateful for the good things you have.
You have things you feel guilty about? Tell him about it. Why do you feel guilty? Humbly ask for forgiveness. Let your actions show that you’re truly repenting by not repeating these things. And if you fall off the wagon and repeat the behavior, tell him you feel guilty and mad at yourself but you’re going to try again.
Open yourself up to God. Live in His light. Your life can change if you really want it to.