What should be the dating time minimum (months/years) before getting married?

MeachTheMonster

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Hey Mr. I don't wanna face the facts, face the facts.

You're only guessing. Where is your proof that that's what the stats say? Or are you just making up things to feel better about the fact your marriage is more likely to fail than someone else's who doesn't "shack up"?

First off these statistics you speak of come from a survey that was conducted in the U.K. different people, different culture, I'm not sure how comparable they are to the U.S.

Second the survey only contacted 1000 people, I wouldn't say that's enough people to make a conclusive assertion of the effects of cohabitation upon a marriage.

Third the statistical difference between those who never cohabitated before marriage and those who did but still got divorced is only 10% in this study. It's not like there is a big difference, unfortunately divorce is way too common.

Fourth almost 80% of American marriages are between two people who have cohabited before, yet only 48% of the people who answered the survey actualy said they lived together before they got married. Even without that disparity obviously 80% has much more a chance of failing than 20%.

Fifth this is a statement from one of the scientists who conducted the study.
"We think that some couples who move in together without a clear commitment to marriage may wind up sliding into marriage partly because they are already cohabiting," said lead researcher Galena Rhoades of the University of Denver.
According to those who conducted the study cohabitation is not the cause for divorce, but the people who get divorced are more likely to be making bad decisions BEFORE the wedding.

I've never advocated moving in with anyone for any other reason than the fact that you want to be together forever. In the same study only 16% of respondents cohabited after getting engaged, and their divorce rate was no lower than those who didn't.
 

DaChampIsHere

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First off these statistics you speak of come from a survey that was conducted in the U.K. different people, different culture, I'm not sure how comparable they are to the U.S.
Cohabitation, Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage in the United States.
Series Report 23, Number 22. 103pp. (PHS) 98-1998.
Download report at Centers for Disease Control and Preventionnchs/data/series/sr_23/sr23_022.pdf
Among the findings in this report: unmarried cohabitations overall are less
stable than marriages. The probability of a first marriage ending in
separation or divorce within 5 years is 20 percent, but the probability of
a premarital cohabitation breaking up within 5 years is 49 percent. After
10 years, the probability of a first marriage ending is 33 percent,
compared with 62 percent for cohabitations.


More recent articles:
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/15/opinion/sunday/the-downside-of-cohabiting-before-marriage.html?
Why Living Together Before Marriage Is A Bad Idea [Infographic] - Business Insider
 

MeachTheMonster

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:pachaha: a recent article quoting the same old flawed studies is proof of nothing. Quit hitting google and look at the situation logically. Remember you said this.


Why do people only wanna listen to stats when they verify their agenda. :noah:
 

DaChampIsHere

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:pachaha: a recent article quoting the same old flawed studies is proof of nothing.
It's only flawed because it doesn't put your marriage in the best odds. No one's saying your marriage is doomed. Get over it. :ld:

There's no stat that says not living together before marriage will be more likely to fail. Only those who live together beforehand. There's a reason for that.
 

MeachTheMonster

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It's only flawed because it doesn't put your marriage in the best odds. No one's saying your marriage is doomed. Get over it. :ld:

I'm not worried about my marriage. Ain't nothin none of you goofy nikkas online can tell me about my life. I'm just giving my opinion as a person who is married and who has been through relationships. You don't even feel like you are boyfriend material how could you possibly be giving advice on marriage:pachaha:
 

DaChampIsHere

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I'm not worried about my marriage. Ain't nothin none of you goofy nikkas online can tell me about my life.
So stop postin' to me about it, damn. :pachaha:

Please don't go ad-hominem. You've revealed a lot of business about yourself and most men on here wouldn't consider your wife spouse material at all. You're a generally good poster. Don't let your emotions slip up where ya life don't support what your saying. :whoa:
 

twan83

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There is no minimum cuz each person is different
to each their own is what i say

but i strongly recommend u at least live together before marrying cuz of living habits can actually be a DEAL BREAKER

also their cant be a time table i remember i met someone on the plane back to the states where she told me she married her husband within 2 weeks and they been married for 30 yrs and this happened and this happened around 2002 so if they still are together thats 40 something yrs together

what that shows is only you and the person can decide when its time
 

MeachTheMonster

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So stop postin' to me about it, damn. :pachaha:

Please don't go ad-hominem. You've revealed a lot of business about yourself and most men on here wouldn't consider your wife spouse material at all. You're a generally good poster. Don't let your emotions slip up where ya life don't support what your saying. :whoa:

There's no ad-hominem. You said that yourself. And please tell me what you know about my wife that makes her "not marriage material".

:comeon: champ I know your used to debating which these other goofy nikkas, but it won't work on me, I'm fukkary proof homie.
 

Easy-E

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From my expierinces, I think that is an unrealistic expectation, and I think it's a mistake.

I'll give you a scenario. My wife and I knew each other for 7 years before we moved in together. Back then I would have told you that i know everything there is to know about her, we were happy and I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.

Moving in together was an entirely different story. We had too many problems over superficial shyt that doesn't even matter in real life. Socks on the floor, too much perfume, put the top on the toothpaste, ect.

Luckily we were able to stick together and work through those problems, now we don't even think about them. The problem is, some people can't work through those problems. It sounds silly to you, but some people just can't live with a person who's gonna leave the top off the toothpaste, or spray perfume all over the house. In my opinion it's more beneficial to live with a person and figure these types of trivial things out before you get married. That way the marriage can be all happy and progress as opposed to figuring out these things and maybe coming to the conclusion that you can't live with them.
Ya'll couldn't have talked those things through? Or got married and worked them out?
 

MeachTheMonster

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Sooooooo, how does that change the stat? :word:

I'mma try to be nice to you, cause I know you love your woman. Doesn't matter if you are fukkery proof (you're definitely not, VERY far from such). Stick to the subject.

Corelation=/=Causation the stat does not equate to the conclusion you are making from it. Even the scientists who ran the faulty and discredited study disagree with what you are saying
 

PIFF101

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2 to 3 years. First 2 years are really getting to know each other and learning both habits. Living with each other is key. You only know then if you want to spend your life forever with her. Work schedules and who's going to cook dinner. Making time to go out and what you both are going to do. Family occasions and if you both get along with them....not just mom and dad. . Ya'll got the same goals or you b.s. and she trying to get that degree or vice versa. Something to think about.
 
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