My biggest fear is that I'll ultimately end up like my predecessors : Hardworking, smart, driven, but complacent and broke. My grandfather worked in a supermarket for 40 years. My dad worked for the post office for 35 years. They're both retired now, still worried about money and what they can't buy and enjoy. They deserve any and everything for their hard work, but they were raised on the notion that "if you're black, and you have a job, you've made it. Keep your head down, don't rock the boat." Next thing they know, they're 60+.
Every time I look at their and other senior citizens' lifestyles, it just confirms my belief that following the rules laid out for us as a society -- waiting for retirement/social security -- is a scam, a way to keep most people broke and complacent. Sure, if you plan for it, you'll be alright, but the truth is.. most of our parents weren't knowledgeable about 401ks, Roth IRAs, entrepreneurship and shyt, like we are. And so, these people are now living on the absolute minimum. It scares me, even if I had a million from my 401k. It's not enough.
If I had kids early like they did, I'd probably be on the same path they were on now. The whole "I got to do what I got to do, I cant risk it." The another day, another dollarrrr" mentality. shyt is scary, time will fly before you know it.
Seeing this as a child, made me a contrarian when it comes to all of this career shyt. shyt is retarded to me. I didn't go to college, because I didn't want the debt. Didn't stop me. Still destroyed degree holders in interviews. My resume is on point. Still got paid. I made more than what my parents/grandparents did at 50 when I was 25, also while working 20+ less hours.
I'm scared of failing in my own endeavors, forcing me to abandon my plans of being financially free in 5-10 years. Forcing me to clock in to work when my future kids are teenagers.
There's not one job on this planet that'll satisfy me 100% because I'll wont be in control of my time. My predecessors had their days locked down with cac bullshyt longer than I have been alive and 97% of nikkas I encounter on a daily basis are comfortable with going down the same path. It's nauseating, and some times I think I'm crazy for thinking this way. Yet I continue.
At 30, I'm tired of cac's rules and regulations. I'm tired of the interviewing process where a nig gotta jump through bullshyt hoops to sit at a computer and fukk around with spreadsheets. I'm tired of not being able to have freedom of speech or be who I truly am because that'll possibly affect my relationships and income with cac.
I want out, I want to make it on my own. My friends laugh at my belittling of the typical careers and jobs and my family half supports me.
It's not enough. I'm alone with these thoughts and I'll do everything in my power to not have me or my future kids depend on jobs. If I fail, It'll emotionally wreck me. If yall see "Coli user Kenyan West barges through a bank with an Uzi" on the news in 2045, you'll know why.
...gotta get to this money man.
. That's a whole nother worry though
What do you do breh? Do you not enjoy it?
