What Would You Have Done?

[TheFemalePerspective]

It just hit me that it's a cold, cold, cold world out there.



I'll keep this post short and sweet, since I'm aware that most Coli posters are not avid readers, and that the majority suffer an asthma attack whenever they see a vast amount of writing.



Back story:

Three months ago, a girl was hired in my department; we're a small team, consisting of 5 members. I could tell she was clueless but everyone starts as a beginner. I took her under my wing, and for several weeks, I'd do my job and majority of hers, to help her out. She'd watch me and take notes. I had no issue with that at the time, because she seemed very sweet. When I like someone, I have no issue sharing everything i have with you. It's only when I see another side to you, that I quickly retract my privileges.



To keep the story short, my manager (I wish he didn't do this) told everyone I was in line for a promotion. I still have a few weeks left until I take my new position. The girl that I basically took under my wing, was furious...



You'd think she'd be happy for me? But she was telling other members that she deserves the promotion.



What have I done since then? Anytime she asks me for help, I hit her with the...



and say, try and figure it out yourself.



This is totally out of character for me, and I hate the negative vibe we have at work now, but I can't believe the tramp tried to shade me like that.



However, I try to not allow emotions to dictate my behaviour. I'm struggling with this right now.



What would you have done? I decided to make this thread, because I hate tension. Even though she tried to shade me like that, it's hard for me to see someone struggle and not give them a hand. I feel that I should be the 'bigger' person and help her out regardless to keep the team spirit alive. At the end of the day, it's not about me, but the team. My win is her win, and vice versa.

UPDATE: I've decided to forgive.

Emotions should be left out of the workforce.

The universe doesn't run on feelings & neither should we.



I'm going to help her whenever she asks, not for her, but because that's what I should do. The 'team' is more important than my feelings.

Definitely one of the top 5 hard lessons, I've had to learn in life.

 

[hypo666]

I bet you,if the person you helped out was a male he'd have reacted different even if he was trying to sneak glances at your breasts and ass or not . Women generally, not saying all, just don't get along well in the workplace. Her behaviour of course is not just ungrateful,but it's irrational as I hardly think she will win friends and allies if she is openly behaving in this way. It means others will be wary to help her as well. Why would she pull this especially when she now knows you will be her boss?

I mean even if she was the type to tread on people to climb the greasy corporate pole,she'd be much more sensible to act humble but hold a big fukk off machete behind her back for the right moment to fukk you with it . Because it sounds like she has only been there five minutes and is acting the big shot. Not a good idea. Hardly a way to win friends and influence people.

What would I do, I wouldn't be the 'bigger person', ,i would not let my irritation openly show, I'd treat her now like anyone else, no special favours,let her sink or swim,hopefully she will sink herself , but I wouldn't forget what she did and watch her like a hawk and at the right moment at the right time, I'd get her off my team,completely fukk her up . I certainly wouldn't say or do anything in the heat of the moment. You don't want someone like her in your team at the end of the day and I would find a way, legally and without harming your own position to get her out.

 

[godkiller]

I would have done exactly the same thing and hit her with the . On the other hand I'd also be genial and cordial in making excuses as to why I can't spare any real time to help her with tasks . Don't sacrifice anything but the bare necessaries for this indignant wench, but alternate this behaviour with occasional shallow niceties so nobody notices much different. The game is the game. Play to win.

Also, is this girl more experienced or older than you, OP?

 

[Solano707]

I would have asked her why she is being so sour - not accuse her of anything. See what her reactions may be. Then, I would say, if you ever need help, just let me know - I'll do that in front of the co-workers. I wouldn't have the conversation 1 on 1 though; make sure you do it in front of a casual public area, because she may spin it around on you.

 

[TheFemalePerspective]

I bet you,if the person you helped out was a male he'd have reacted different even if he was trying to sneak glances at your breasts and ass or not . Women generally, not saying all, just don't get along well in the workplace. Her behaviour of course is not just ungrateful,but it's irrational as I hardly think she will win friends and allies if she is openly behaving in this way. It means others will be wary to help her as well. Why would she pull this especially when she now knows you will be her boss?

I mean even if she was the type to tread on people to climb the greasy corporate pole,she'd be much more sensible to act humble but hold a big fukk off machete behind her back for the right moment to fukk you with it . Because it sounds like she has only been there five minutes and is acting the big shot. Not a good idea. Hardly a way to win friends and influence people.

What would I do, I wouldn't be the 'bigger person', ,i would not let my irritation openly show, I'd treat her now like anyone else, no special favours,let her sink or swim,hopefully she will sink herself , but I wouldn't forget what she did and watch her like a hawk and at the right moment at the right time, I'd get her off my team,completely fukk her up . I certainly wouldn't say or do anything in the heat of the moment. You don't want someone like her in your team at the end of the day and I would find a way, legally and without harming your own position to get her out.

I know it was when she heard how much the salary was for the new position that she was willing to trample on me. Call me naive, but I was truly shocked. If the roles were reversed, I truly would have been happy for her & waited for my own come up.

she's definitely sinking right now & constantly rolls her eyes, every time I tell her to do the work herself.

I would have done exactly the same thing and hit her with the . On the other hand I'd also be genial and cordial in making excuses as to why I can't spare any real time to help her with tasks. Don't sacrifice anything but the bare necessaries for this indignant wench.

I make sure to smile and politely say that I'm too busy to help her out. But it's getting tiring to come up with an excuse daily.. but she's pretty much figured out that I'm not the same with her.



She can't tell the manager, I'm not showing her how to do her job...

 

[Ms.CuriousCat]

lol@ the faces in the convo

Your personality is so similar to mine it's freaking me out. Maybe you can move from doing things for her to "leave the nest" stage where you provide minimal support for the benefit of the team. That is if you know for sure and it's not just he said she said bull so you're not being unnecessarily cold/distant. She still gets the support she needs to be productive, you keep it professional and reduce the tension/stress levels. Win-win

 

[TheFemalePerspective]

I would have asked her why she is being so sour - not accuse her of anything. See what her reactions may be. Then, I would say, if you ever need help, just let me know - I'll do that in front of the co-workers. I wouldn't have the conversation 1 on 1 though; make sure you do it in front of a casual public area, because she may spin it around on you.

I thought about this but in those types of conversations, I might get a little too emotional.

 

[Dafunkdoc_Unlimited]

I'd have continued to do what I did in the beginning to show her that I deserved every bit of praise I was receiving.

No 'crab' is gonna stop me from being me.

Leaders lead by example.​

 

[TheFemalePerspective]

lol@ the faces in the convo

Your personality is so similar to mine it's freaking me out. Maybe you can move from doing things for her to "leave the nest" stage where you provide minimal support for the benefit of the team. That is if you know for sure and it's not just he said she said bull so you're not being unnecessarily cold/distant. She still gets the support she needs to be productive, you keep it professional and reduce the tension/stress levels. Win-win

i think that's the best solution but she's type to take a mile and run with it.

I'll try my best though to keep her afloat for the team's sake.

I just won't help her swim.

 

[TheFemalePerspective]

I'd have continued to do what I did in the beginning to show her that I deserved every bit of praise I was receiving.

No 'crab' is gonna stop me from being me.

Leaders lead by example.​

You see that's why I feel that this is a dilemma for me. I don't want to change who I am, for some crab.



This is really difficult.

Keep me in your prayers.. guys!

 

[Pinyapplesuckas]

You did the right thing. Stay classy and collect your W. If anything, this will cause her to either be an adult and deal with it, or self destruct and the fukk out of there

Also dont let her actions/emotions deter you from lending a helping hand to other new coworkers. Just gotta be cautious out there.

 

[Dwolf]

It just hit me that it's a cold, cold, cold world out there.



I'll keep this post short and sweet, since I'm aware that most Coli posters are not avid readers, and that the majority suffer an asthma attack whenever they see a vast amount of writing.



Back story:

Three months ago, a girl was hired in my department; we're a small team, consisting of 5 members. I could tell she was clueless but everyone starts as a beginner. I took her under my wing, and for several weeks, I'd do my job and majority of hers, to help her out. She'd watch me and take notes. I had no issue with that at the time, because she seemed very sweet. When I like someone, I have no issue sharing everything i have with you. It's only when I see another side to you, that I quickly retract my privileges.



To keep the story short, my manager (I wish he didn't do this) told everyone I was in line for a promotion. I still have a few weeks left until I take my new position. The girl that I basically took under my wing, was furious...



You'd think she'd be happy for me? But she was telling other members that she deserves the promotion.



What have I done since then? Anytime she asks me for help, I hit her with the...



and say, try and figure it out yourself.



This is totally out of character for me, and I hate the negative vibe we have at work now, but I can't believe the tramp tried to shade me like that.



However, I try to not allow emotions to dictate my behaviour. I'm struggling with this right now.



What would you have done? I decided to make this thread, because I hate tension. Even though she tried to shade me like that, it's hard for me to see someone struggle and not give them a hand. I feel that I should be the 'bigger' person and help her out regardless to keep the team spirit alive. At the end of the day, it's not about me, but the team. My win is her win, and vice versa.

My first instinct was to say LOL DIDNT READ but the smiles make it more then it really is.

Its sink or swim in life, should have let her drown

 

[TheFemalePerspective]

You did the right thing. Stay classy and collect your W. If anything, this will cause her to either be an adult and deal with it, or self destruct and the fukk out of there

Also dont let her actions/emotions deter you from lending a helping hand to other new coworkers. Just gotta be cautious out there.

Yh, I would never stop helping people because of some bad apples. It's just that I genuinely hate negative vibes. I'm just furious that a person I helped so much, could be so angry seeing me succeed. I definitely will not place any obstacles in her lane, but I'm hesitant in removing any for her, considering her ingratitude. But then I think my help shouldn't be based on her gratitude.. just like how the sun shines on all living creatures; the good, the bad, and the ugly.

 

[TheFemalePerspective]

My first instinct was to say LOL DIDNT READ but the smiles make it more then it really is.

Its sink or swim in life, should have let her drown

Oh whatever, I know you enjoy reading my sh.t

 

[Pinyapplesuckas]

Yh, I would never stop helping people because of some bad apples. It's just that I genuinely hate negative vibes. I'm just furious that a person I helped so much, could be so angry seeing me succeed. I definitely will not place any obstacles in her lane, but I'm hesitant in removing any for her, considering her ingratitude. But then I think my help shouldn't be based on her gratitude.. just like how the sun shines on all living creatures; the good, the bad, and the ugly.

no need in helping a person like that...she has to earn that opportunity back by showing you some respect and at least giving you a legit congratulations for your (soon to be) promotion.

i just dont understand the logic of being jealous of someone who helped you moving up...if anything i'd think if you move up then the odds of me moving up would also increase to a certain degree