Mantis Toboggan M.D.
Drink wolf cola
Jerry stayed finding the most shallow reasons to dump womenthis some Seinfeld shyt...
What's The Pettiest Reason You've Bushed A Chick?
- Thread starter bogey_j
- Start date
Iceson Beckford
Rich In Spirit.
Went out on a date and she had just got her tongue pierced the day before. 
This mixed with her smoking made her breath smell so horrible that I couldnt take her serious for months.
She became a thot soon after and started doing MDMA and Coke.
Tried to take her serious again then she got drunk one time and I saw her do coke that literally came out of a homeless guys a$$hole.
This mixed with her smoking made her breath smell so horrible that I couldnt take her serious for months.
She became a thot soon after and started doing MDMA and Coke.
Tried to take her serious again then she got drunk one time and I saw her do coke that literally came out of a homeless guys a$$hole.
Rollo Goodlove
Palestine Titty
What I done brushed bytches left and right
Drip Bayless
Superstar
She cut off 2k when I was playing a game to rank up into the NBA division and unlock old school teams. I had to start all over again
She didnt top me on the first date even tho we were making out and she was laying on top of me
She lost too much weight too fast and that ass deflated
She didnt top me on the first date even tho we were making out and she was laying on top of me
She lost too much weight too fast and that ass deflated
DatLBCGuy562
Superstar
When a Black woman tries to put that cac valley bytch inflection on her voice and seems content being "the Black friend" that her SWS associates can point to when they're called out on their BS and say "hey. I'm not racist. I have a Black friend".
Met a few bytches like this. Or when they're indifferent towards Black issues. I make sure I get them ALL THE WAY the fukk away from me. Those bedwenches/black people seeking white approval are scum of the Earth to me...
Met a few bytches like this. Or when they're indifferent towards Black issues. I make sure I get them ALL THE WAY the fukk away from me. Those bedwenches/black people seeking white approval are scum of the Earth to me...
Address_Unknown
Jesus Loves you...Your Cat doesn't. {#Dogset}
Three novellas of me fukking up a good thing for minor infractions I coulda just played off but went full retard with
Now I don't run to take pictures for shyt (I got this weird hang up where I feel pictures should be spontaneous not a bunch of mass produced 'pose for the camera in everyday locale shyts) but we was out with friends and I didn't want to be a wet blanket so I just posed along with everyone else to keep the party going.
Go home see the shyts on Facebook. She got her hand on my head in erry, fukking, picture.
Not around my shoulder. No face up to my cheek, palm flat, on my head, every picture and it subconsciously had me Pissed off even though I felt I was missing something.
Homeboy calls me up on the phone laughing talking about "Yo, is every picture she doing that to you in dude, and her knuckles like neck and shoulder height to everyone else, it like she putting a grow chart next to yo short ass in each pic.
".
Made excuses Everytime she wanted to go out and she moved on and I stayed Petty, cheekless and Pissed the rest of that summer.
Go home see the shyts on Facebook. She got her hand on my head in erry, fukking, picture.
Not around my shoulder. No face up to my cheek, palm flat, on my head, every picture and it subconsciously had me Pissed off even though I felt I was missing something.Homeboy calls me up on the phone laughing talking about "Yo, is every picture she doing that to you in dude, and her knuckles like neck and shoulder height to everyone else, it like she putting a grow chart next to yo short ass in each pic.
".Made excuses Everytime she wanted to go out and she moved on and I stayed Petty, cheekless and Pissed the rest of that summer.
I done don't like this shyt but she started to get incessant with it and I ain't talking about just the bedroom. Out in public "Ooh, don't forget yo phone on the table 'Daaaa-deee.' " or "Oooh, remind me to pick up them packages from FedEx, Daddy."
I'm like "Will you don't do that, woman ?" but she thought it was fun to tease a breh since certain chicks have a propensity to tease me when they see that they can wiggle into the cracks of my normally easy going persona'n'shyt. Then in comes the baby shyt.
"Oooh, our baby gonna be born wid a full head of hair, cause you got nice soft long hair and so do yo sister too." Me "um..thanks."
"Look how good kids respond to you, she normally don't like new people or dudes for that matter." *Me holding a sleeping baby on my stomach* "Um yeah you just need patience and a phone filled with kids programming"
(Veggie tales and the first few seasons of MLPFIM before Cacs put they genitals on it was the shyt)
Then one day l, we at a bar, she meets a friend and they start talking female shyt so I'm cut out of the conversation for a bit so I'm heading to the bathroom. I comeback and her friend calls me "Child Father" out the fukking blue and they giggling and I'm just standing there with a sour face cause I can't play it off at that point. Then a taxi man who was Prolly peeping the scene was like "bruh, unless you want kids. Dip. She sound like the type that gonna poke holes in the condom and start stocking up on maternity shyt the minute she decides it's time. That's how I got my first two."
I ended it that month after she made a comment about how much break I had left in a condom after fukking talking about "Damn, you gonna give a bytch twin sons wid all of that" and couldn't take the not so subtle bludgeoning no more. shyt was messy but I was 23 and thought I had a future ahead of me and wasnt looking to ruin it with kids.
Patched things up like a few years later when I heard she had a miscarriage and went over to console her. We argued, she hit me over the head with a clock radio, we bared some truths and promised to keep in touch more.
She got two cute as hell girls that adore a breh now and I add that to my long list of 'young boy penalties' and she calls me uncle instead of Daddy now as a sarcastic reminder of what could have been
I'm like "Will you don't do that, woman ?"
but she thought it was fun to tease a breh since certain chicks have a propensity to tease me when they see that they can wiggle into the cracks of my normally easy going persona'n'shyt. Then in comes the baby shyt."Oooh, our baby gonna be born wid a full head of hair, cause you got nice soft long hair and so do yo sister too." Me "um..thanks."
"Look how good kids respond to you, she normally don't like new people or dudes for that matter." *Me holding a sleeping baby on my stomach* "Um yeah you just need patience and a phone filled with kids programming"
(Veggie tales and the first few seasons of MLPFIM before Cacs put they genitals on it was the shyt)Then one day l, we at a bar, she meets a friend and they start talking female shyt so I'm cut out of the conversation for a bit so I'm heading to the bathroom. I comeback and her friend calls me "Child Father" out the fukking blue and they giggling and I'm just standing there with a sour face cause I can't play it off at that point. Then a taxi man who was Prolly peeping the scene was like "bruh, unless you want kids. Dip. She sound like the type that gonna poke holes in the condom and start stocking up on maternity shyt the minute she decides it's time. That's how I got my first two."
I ended it that month after she made a comment about how much break I had left in a condom after fukking talking about "Damn, you gonna give a bytch twin sons wid all of that" and couldn't take the not so subtle bludgeoning no more. shyt was messy but I was 23 and thought I had a future ahead of me and wasnt looking to ruin it with kids.
Patched things up like a few years later when I heard she had a miscarriage and went over to console her. We argued, she hit me over the head with a clock radio, we bared some truths and promised to keep in touch more.
She got two cute as hell girls that adore a breh now and I add that to my long list of 'young boy penalties' and she calls me uncle instead of Daddy now as a sarcastic reminder of what could have been
Was fooling around with this chick and we sorta got serious after a few months.
She was one of them housekeeper, "Momma raised me on how to keep a man pleased" shyt and while I ain't had no problems with the food and the cleaning and looking to iron my clothes'n'shyt, I had to tell her that I don't really need all that done, I do it for myself but I can see she pleased as hell when she does it, so why fight it?
When we got a bit serious she kicked it up a notch, like I'd come home and meet shyt packed away and cleaned, fukk ass pledge all across the place and Glade plug ins and we'd have arguments over it cause she'd get super mad whenever I had to tell her to stop moving my shyt to places she FELT was better or how much I dislike Glade and prefer fukking Fabreeze and she'd get mad pouty or straight up spit venom on a breh.
So now I'm getting mad cause she getting mad at me getting mad at her for getting mad that I don't want a housekeeper, but I'm holding it in, thinking on her feelings cause this shyt is ingrained in her and I need to be more understanding and compromise...and it ain't a bad compromise, Lotsa dudes would kill for a girl cooking and cleaning like this and wouldn't even get mad which in turn causes her to get an attitude....so I'm rolling with it, acting like I'm pleased (I am, sorta now that we good, fukking hard, eating food, cuddling on my couch that now got a matching bedspread and throw pillows) and then one night she makes my bed.
I ain't asked her to and it's how she did it that set me the fukk off. I had a friend over and we playing Xbox, she come over, we all kick it for a bit, then me and her plan on going out somewhere and she goes "lemme make the bed right quick" and I'm like "nah, let's go my breh about to give us a ride, plus I'm coming back in like 20 minutes I'm gonna nap on it."
She like "so you gonna leave your bed unmade? Yo momma ain't taught you better?
I avoid the jab and part of me thinking she only acting up cause my friend in the room but I just go "Yo, my mom had better shyt to do then lecture me on making my bed at 4pm in the GOTDAMN afternoon before I take a trip to fukking Walmart and be back to rumple the shyts up. Dead it, let's go."
So she flips her princess tantrum switch and starts screaming "Fine. Live yo nasty fat ass in a pigsty for all I give a good god damn. " And my breh just there like "" and in my head I'm like "It ain't nowhere near that serious bytch why you doing this in front of company
" but I get mean when I argue with chicks over dumb shyt and I honestly feel like I shouldn't even be having this convo so I go "When yuh muddac*nt was whining up under me you ain't no problem with the bed then ,eh? Couldn't hold you down a fukk, is yuh bony ass back throw the sheet all out of proportion, so yes, tuck it ass back under the box spring now, go. Go!"
And I'm getting mad now (Same reason I don't argue with chicks..I don't like the way I feel about 'em during and after) and she kinda modest when it comes to talking about sex in public and this is a deliberate low blow cause it embarrassing for her so she storms off and just goes in the car and my breh like "nikka, she gonna poison you." But at this point in the don't give a fukk I'm like "nikka it's the principle of the thing. Leave the fukking bed alone.
" He calls me stupid and laughs we go outside. She in the back seat all mad, I try and apologise, she ignores me, I ignore her we go about what's left of our day.
Fast forward like two weeks. Me and her good again. I'm doing my best to let her have as much of her way as possible when it comes to her tendencies, we get up to go somewhere again, we in the car and she pauses to go to the bathroom.
I'm waiting Inn the car for a bit and I decide, "shyt, I might as well use my own commode cause I ain't wanna have to do the whole hold my breath and blur my eyes in the public restroom shyt if I can help it." So I pop inside, hit the bathroom, I'm out of liquid soap, I hit my room for some bodywash to use and she bent over, tucking my sheets in fixing the bed.
I'm just like in the doorway, she looking at me all like 
and in my mind I can hear what I always thought was just my thought process speaking to me but in retrospect is either a tumour or some mental illness going "Breh, she pretty much showing you that now or later her will, WILL be done on you regardless
" She fixes the bed, claps her hands (I'll never forget that shyt) looks at the bed, looks at me and says "let's go now"
I walked over to the bed and sat on it. Then I slid my feet out my shoes, she asking "what you doing? We ain't going out?" then I started slowly pulling the top corner of the sheet that was jammed up against wall out revealing all the bullshyt petticoats she done went and bought for the thing, and I'm pulling them shyts off too, one by one while she arguing, which turns to screaming until I'm down to the mattress and then for no other reason than spite, I flip the bytch(The Matress!) over and yell as loudly as I could "STOP. fukkING. MAKING. MY. fukkING. BED. IN. THE MIDDLE. OF. THE. fukkING. DAY. WHEN. IT'S. GONNA. GET. USED. AGAIN. WITHIN. THE. HOUR!" Directly in her face, took the nearest sheet, flip it over my shoulders like a cape and proceed to curl up in bed, bundled up under it with my back to her hugging a pillow ignoring (and absorbing) her bewildered abuse until she left me with nothing but a bruised back and the eye squigglies I got from screaming so loud.
Not my finest hour at all and I'm surprised the universe didn't leave me trimless after this stupid bullshyt episode.
She was one of them housekeeper, "Momma raised me on how to keep a man pleased" shyt and while I ain't had no problems with the food and the cleaning and looking to iron my clothes'n'shyt, I had to tell her that I don't really need all that done, I do it for myself but I can see she pleased as hell when she does it, so why fight it?
When we got a bit serious she kicked it up a notch, like I'd come home and meet shyt packed away and cleaned, fukk ass pledge all across the place and Glade plug ins and we'd have arguments over it cause she'd get super mad whenever I had to tell her to stop moving my shyt to places she FELT was better or how much I dislike Glade and prefer fukking Fabreeze and she'd get mad pouty or straight up spit venom on a breh.
So now I'm getting mad cause she getting mad at me getting mad at her for getting mad that I don't want a housekeeper, but I'm holding it in, thinking on her feelings cause this shyt is ingrained in her and I need to be more understanding and compromise...and it ain't a bad compromise, Lotsa dudes would kill for a girl cooking and cleaning like this and wouldn't even get mad which in turn causes her to get an attitude....so I'm rolling with it, acting like I'm pleased (I am, sorta now that we good, fukking hard, eating food, cuddling on my couch that now got a matching bedspread and throw pillows) and then one night she makes my bed.
I ain't asked her to and it's how she did it that set me the fukk off. I had a friend over and we playing Xbox, she come over, we all kick it for a bit, then me and her plan on going out somewhere and she goes "lemme make the bed right quick" and I'm like "nah, let's go my breh about to give us a ride, plus I'm coming back in like 20 minutes I'm gonna nap on it."
She like "so you gonna leave your bed unmade? Yo momma ain't taught you better?
I avoid the jab and part of me thinking she only acting up cause my friend in the room but I just go "Yo, my mom had better shyt to do then lecture me on making my bed at 4pm in the GOTDAMN afternoon before I take a trip to fukking Walmart and be back to rumple the shyts up. Dead it, let's go."
So she flips her princess tantrum switch and starts screaming "Fine. Live yo nasty fat ass in a pigsty for all I give a good god damn. " And my breh just there like "
" and in my head I'm like "It ain't nowhere near that serious bytch why you doing this in front of company" but I get mean when I argue with chicks over dumb shyt and I honestly feel like I shouldn't even be having this convo so I go "When yuh muddac*nt was whining up under me you ain't no problem with the bed then ,eh? Couldn't hold you down a fukk, is yuh bony ass back throw the sheet all out of proportion, so yes, tuck it ass back under the box spring now, go. Go!"And I'm getting mad now (Same reason I don't argue with chicks..I don't like the way I feel about 'em during and after) and she kinda modest when it comes to talking about sex in public and this is a deliberate low blow cause it embarrassing for her so she storms off and just goes in the car and my breh like "nikka, she gonna poison you." But at this point in the don't give a fukk I'm like "nikka it's the principle of the thing. Leave the fukking bed alone.
" He calls me stupid and laughs we go outside. She in the back seat all mad, I try and apologise, she ignores me, I ignore her we go about what's left of our day.Fast forward like two weeks. Me and her good again. I'm doing my best to let her have as much of her way as possible when it comes to her tendencies, we get up to go somewhere again, we in the car and she pauses to go to the bathroom.
I'm waiting Inn the car for a bit and I decide, "shyt, I might as well use my own commode cause I ain't wanna have to do the whole hold my breath and blur my eyes in the public restroom shyt if I can help it." So I pop inside, hit the bathroom, I'm out of liquid soap, I hit my room for some bodywash to use and she bent over, tucking my sheets in fixing the bed.
I'm just like
in the doorway, she looking at me all like and in my mind I can hear what I always thought was just my thought process speaking to me but in retrospect is either a tumour or some mental illness going "Breh, she pretty much showing you that now or later her will, WILL be done on you regardless" She fixes the bed, claps her hands (I'll never forget that shyt) looks at the bed, looks at me and says "let's go now"I walked over to the bed and sat on it. Then I slid my feet out my shoes, she asking "what you doing? We ain't going out?" then I started slowly pulling the top corner of the sheet that was jammed up against wall out revealing all the bullshyt petticoats she done went and bought for the thing, and I'm pulling them shyts off too, one by one while she arguing, which turns to screaming until I'm down to the mattress and then for no other reason than spite, I flip the bytch(The Matress!) over and yell as loudly as I could "STOP. fukkING. MAKING. MY. fukkING. BED. IN. THE MIDDLE. OF. THE. fukkING. DAY. WHEN. IT'S. GONNA. GET. USED. AGAIN. WITHIN. THE. HOUR!" Directly in her face, took the nearest sheet, flip it over my shoulders like a cape and proceed to curl up in bed, bundled up under it with my back to her hugging a pillow ignoring (and absorbing) her bewildered abuse until she left me with nothing but a bruised back and the eye squigglies I got from screaming so loud.
Not my finest hour at all and I'm surprised the universe didn't leave me trimless after this stupid bullshyt episode.
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what if they grew up around white people though? are you dumb?
General Mills
More often than not I tend to take that L.
Went out on a date and she had just got her tongue pierced the day before.
This mixed with her smoking made her breath smell so horrible that I couldnt take her serious for months.
She became a thot soon after and started doing MDMA and Coke.
Tried to take her serious again then she got drunk one time and I saw her do coke that literally came out of a homeless guys a$$hole.
DatLBCGuy562
Superstar
Are you dumb? You fukking CAC/c00n. I don't give a fukk WHY they're doing it. No matter the reason, I don't want them hoes around ME.
I said that's why I bushed them. Can you get that through your thick, dense skull? I guess if you're around a few gay guys at school or on your block, we can count on you to start sucking dikk you CAC fakkit.
Since if you're around something, you start emulating the behavior, according to your logic. And if you're a female, I'm guessing you're a fukking bedwench. Can't believe you typed that stupid shyt. fukking dummy..
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Just off being fake.
Talks fake, acts fake, and claims what she isn't like a nikka can't see through her.
Talks fake, acts fake, and claims what she isn't like a nikka can't see through her.
Three novellas of me fukking up a good thing for minor infractions I coulda just played off but went full retard with
Now I don't run to take pictures for shyt (I got this weird hang up where I feel pictures should be spontaneous not a bunch of mass produced 'pose for the camera in everyday locale shyts) but we was out with friends and I didn't want to be a wet blanket so I just posed along with everyone else to keep the party going.
Go home see the shyts on Facebook. She got her hand on my head in erry, fukking, picture.
Homeboy calls me up on the phone laughing talking about "Yo, is every picture she doing that to you in dude, and her knuckles like neck and shoulder height to everyone else, it like she putting a grow chart next to yo short ass in each pic.
Made excuses Everytime she wanted to go out and she moved on and I stayed Petty, cheekless and Pissed the rest of that summer.
I done don't like this shyt but she started to get incessant with it and I ain't talking about just the bedroom. Out in public "Ooh, don't forget yo phone on the table 'Daaaa-deee.' " or "Oooh, remind me to pick up them packages from FedEx, Daddy."
I'm like "Will you don't do that, woman ?"
"Oooh, our baby gonna be born wid a full head of hair, cause you got nice soft long hair and so do yo sister too." Me "um..thanks."
"Look how good kids respond to you, she normally don't like new people or dudes for that matter." *Me holding a sleeping baby on my stomach* "Um yeah you just need patience and a phone filled with kids programming"
Then one day l, we at a bar, she meets a friend and they start talking female shyt so I'm cut out of the conversation for a bit so I'm heading to the bathroom. I comeback and her friend calls me "Child Father" out the fukking blue and they giggling and I'm just standing there with a sour face cause I can't play it off at that point. Then a taxi man who was Prolly peeping the scene was like "bruh, unless you want kids. Dip. She sound like the type that gonna poke holes in the condom and start stocking up on maternity shyt the minute she decides it's time. That's how I got my first two."
I ended it that month after she made a comment about how much break I had left in a condom after fukking talking about "Damn, you gonna give a bytch twin sons wid all of that" and couldn't take the not so subtle bludgeoning no more. shyt was messy but I was 23 and thought I had a future ahead of me and wasnt looking to ruin it with kids.
Patched things up like a few years later when I heard she had a miscarriage and went over to console her. We argued, she hit me over the head with a clock radio, we bared some truths and promised to keep in touch more.
She got two cute as hell girls that adore a breh now and I add that to my long list of 'young boy penalties' and she calls me uncle instead of Daddy now as a sarcastic reminder of what could have been
Was fooling around with this chick and we sorta got serious after a few months.
She was one of them housekeeper, "Momma raised me on how to keep a man pleased" shyt and while I ain't had no problems with the food and the cleaning and looking to iron my clothes'n'shyt, I had to tell her that I don't really need all that done, I do it for myself but I can see she pleased as hell when she does it, so why fight it?
When we got a bit serious she kicked it up a notch, like I'd come home and meet shyt packed away and cleaned, fukk ass pledge all across the place and Glade plug ins and we'd have arguments over it cause she'd get super mad whenever I had to tell her to stop moving my shyt to places she FELT was better or how much I dislike Glade and prefer fukking Fabreeze and she'd get mad pouty or straight up spit venom on a breh.
So now I'm getting mad cause she getting mad at me getting mad at her for getting mad that I don't want a housekeeper, but I'm holding it in, thinking on her feelings cause this shyt is ingrained in her and I need to be more understanding and compromise...and it ain't a bad compromise, Lotsa dudes would kill for a girl cooking and cleaning like this and wouldn't even get mad which in turn causes her to get an attitude....so I'm rolling with it, acting like I'm pleased (I am, sorta now that we good, fukking hard, eating food, cuddling on my couch that now got a matching bedspread and throw pillows) and then one night she makes my bed.
I ain't asked her to and it's how she did it that set me the fukk off. I had a friend over and we playing Xbox, she come over, we all kick it for a bit, then me and her plan on going out somewhere and she goes "lemme make the bed right quick" and I'm like "nah, let's go my breh about to give us a ride, plus I'm coming back in like 20 minutes I'm gonna nap on it."
She like "so you gonna leave your bed unmade? Yo momma ain't taught you better?
I avoid the jab and part of me thinking she only acting up cause my friend in the room but I just go "Yo, my mom had better shyt to do then lecture me on making my bed at 4pm in the GOTDAMN afternoon before I take a trip to fukking Walmart and be back to rumple the shyts up. Dead it, let's go."
So she flips her princess tantrum switch and starts screaming "Fine. Live yo nasty fat ass in a pigsty for all I give a good god damn. " And my breh just there like "
And I'm getting mad now (Same reason I don't argue with chicks..I don't like the way I feel about 'em during and after) and she kinda modest when it comes to talking about sex in public and this is a deliberate low blow cause it embarrassing for her so she storms off and just goes in the car and my breh like "nikka, she gonna poison you." But at this point in the don't give a fukk I'm like "nikka it's the principle of the thing. Leave the fukking bed alone.
Fast forward like two weeks. Me and her good again. I'm doing my best to let her have as much of her way as possible when it comes to her tendencies, we get up to go somewhere again, we in the car and she pauses to go to the bathroom.
I'm waiting Inn the car for a bit and I decide, "shyt, I might as well use my own commode cause I ain't wanna have to do the whole hold my breath and blur my eyes in the public restroom shyt if I can help it." So I pop inside, hit the bathroom, I'm out of liquid soap, I hit my room for some bodywash to use and she bent over, tucking my sheets in fixing the bed.
I'm just like
I walked over to the bed and sat on it. Then I slid my feet out my shoes, she asking "what you doing? We ain't going out?" then I started slowly pulling the top corner of the sheet that was jammed up against wall out revealing all the bullshyt petticoats she done went and bought for the thing, and I'm pulling them shyts off too, one by one while she arguing, which turns to screaming until I'm down to the mattress and then for no other reason than spite, I flip the bytch over and yell as loudly as I could "STOP. fukkING. MAKING. MY. fukkING. BED. IN. THE MIDDLE. OF. THE. fukkING. DAY. WHEN. IT'S. GONNA. GET. USED. AGAIN. WITHIN. THE. HOUR!" Directly in her face, took the nearest sheet, flip it over my shoulders like a cape and proceed to curl up in bed, bundled up under it with my back to her hugging a pillow ignoring (and absorbing) her bewildered abuse until she left me with nothing but a bruised back and the eye squigglies I got from screaming so loud.
How tall are you breh?
why you so mad, b?
jesus christ chill the fukk out
DatLBCGuy562
Superstar
I don't like c00ns/CACs. Anymore questions? Mind your business, B.why you so mad, b?
