Whats the worst thing you ever walked in on?

[LordTaskForce]

lol naw he ain't. But that's what I was trying to explain to him when I lectured him, you can't be getting caught up like that over a nut, what's next? Midgets? Grannies? Cuckolds? Gotta be careful and sometimes just rely on your imagination when you need one of those last minute, spur of the moment nuts.

you giving your son advice on how to nut

 

[Pinyapplesuckas]

my homie's mom taking a bath

she was old as fukk

 

[newworldafro]

This was years before we could dial 911 for help.

I was visiting my favorite cousin for the summer.
We went inside to get some water and snacks.
We were in the kitchen and we heard like a muffled conversation coming from the bedroom part of the house.
(Auntie and Unk were supposed to be at work. I remember seeing both of them leave earlier that morning for work)


Both of us each grabbed a knife and began walking towards the voices.

We're getting closer.


Cousin: "That sound like my mama!"

Me: "Shhhh. Open the door slow so it won't creek too much."

He turned the knob and slowly opened the door just a little.

Auntie: "I like it better when you use your finger."

Me and Cousin:


Now, Auntie and Unk only had one car. So they drove together in the morning. Auntie would usually get dropped off by one of her coworkers.

I pushed the door wide opened!!! Me and Cousin ready to start the slicin'!!!



Maaaaaaaan!!!! Auntie was in the bed with a bytch!!!!!


Cousin: "Maaaamaaaaaa!!!!"

Auntie: "Get the fukk outta here!!! Close my goddamn doe!!!"

Me:





Auntie had some long ass nipples, man.

... These short stories ........ I'm outchere... ..

 

[FUPA]

my cousin eating out my cousin while she was on her rag they were about 16-17 i was 13. That bloody face when he turned to look at me peaking through the window never forget.

My uncle drunk as fukk squatting on kitchen floor thinking a tub is the toilet and missing and shytting all over the floor. then he fell back right on the shyt i just ran anyway to call my aunt and all my cousins to come see this shyt.

 

[h2o_proof]

you giving your son advice on how to nut

If that's how it sound to you, there's nothing I can do about that. My advice was less about the process and more about the preparation behind it, I thought I made myself pretty clear.

 

[Leasy]

I can't with this Shyt nomore I am fukkin dying man funny Coli thread in a while

 

[mamba]

A "man" disagreeing with a woman in an argument.

 

[Womb Raider]

 

[Mystic]

I didn't walk in on it so much as I was just there. My college roommate thought I was asleep and gave her boyfriend a blow job on the bunk beneath me. The sucking sounds will haunt me all my days.

And you didn't beat off to the sounds? This how I know you'd be a bad cuck

 

[Mystic]

Quiety crept out b4 they seen me and listened outside the door.

They still dont know i know

Be a gay cuck guys

 

[skylove4]

I was staying in nc for a vacation at my cousin house. I left to go to the store but I forgot my wallet. I come back in the house and I hear my cuz talking to himself. I crept up to his door on ninja mode and I see this nikka sitting at the computer with a belt around his neck and beating off. I'm just looking like wtf and leave. When I come back from the store he asked me if I wanted to arm wrestle

 

[Abstract83]

So for those that don't know, my oldest son is 14. One day a few months ago, he came home from school and was really short with the convo, like he had something to do. We greeted each other and then he took off upstairs. I didn't really pay it no mind and just went back to doing what I was doing. About 20min later, I went upstairs to get my wallet because I needed to go run and errand so before I headed out, I stopped by his room just to let him know I was leaving. I thought it was strange that his door was closed and it was quiet, but was like whatever, and I didn't think to knock cuz it's my muthafukkin house, so I opened the door and there was a 'whooosh', like a gust of wind or something and then slight thump. It took me a half a second to process what had just happened. I slowed it down in my head and realized that he simultaneously did a 180 to go from laying on his back to laying on his stomach now fully draped under his comforter and he threw something. The thump I heard was his Ipod hitting the ground.

So now, I'm trying to keep from laughing cuz I pretty much assumed he was jacking off, but what was more funny was the fact that this nikka was trying to act like he was sleep, like he somehow defied the laws of gravity and moved so fast that I didn't catch that he was on his back just a moment before. While this goofy ass nikka is still thinking I'm thinking he sleep, I decide to pick up the Ipod to see what was going on, but it's locked, those shyts lock up so quick it's crazy. So I call out to him, I'm like "getcho ass up and unlock this Ipod for me", he's like "but why?", I'm like "just unlock it so I can see what you were looking at". He knows me, so he knows I ain't gonna ask no questions, I already knew what was going on, but I just wanted to see to make sure he wasn't looking at nothing sick. He unlocks the Ipod and I see Porn Hub or Porn Tube, one of them mobile sites, anyway, it's some strong chin, muscular looking broad getting tag teamed and I'm like
so I ask him "man you couldn't find no better shyt to look at?". I could tell he was embarrassed, damn near about to cry, he says "but I only had one free view left and thats what came up". Now I feel bad, cuz I could imagine the feeling, but at the same time it was still funny. I basically told him without telling him that he could easily find better shyt to look at with no restriction on views, which led to me giving him a whole lecture about how if the internet was this easily accessible when I was his age...

The convo ended with me telling him what my dad told me when I was his age which was that jacking off gave you pimples

Yo this shyt had me cry laughing over here trying not to wake wifey.