Whats your opinion on having kids?

[dora_da_destroyer]

@ above

I will say, as a woman, I don’t think there is anything beautiful about pregnancy and what it does to your body - I enjoy my p*ssy and men do too, why wreck that?


And while I think babies are adorable, lord wtf is their point other than using you as a food source, depriving you of sleep, and stressing the fukk outta you with their crying and they look like aliens the firs month anyway


Now toddlers, 2-5, I LOVE them, that’s a great age and seems like it makes parenting worth it, watching them absorb so much and be excited by all their firsts


then about 6-12 kids are annoying, they talk too much, tell you shyt you don’t care about, need so much time from you, can’t control their emotions, etc. you want to tell them to stop tripping but you also have to coddle them


then we hit middle school, that’s where I like kids again, 12-18 seems cool as they start finding themselves, you can have better conversations with them, etc

 

[TheDarceKnight]

You can't imagine the amount of miserable married cats with sorry ass sex lives. bytch can't take dikk, won't suck dikk, or even let 'em play with her booty . It's cats with hoes on the side that stay running to the Mosque to ask God for forgiveness for the little joy they were able to attain. All nonsense.

The older I get the more and more I think sexual compatibility is a top 3 (if not higher) thing in relationships. Everyone knows people that have stayed in relationships too long just for the sex, and many of us have been there.

People that fukk stay together, and people that stop fukking either don't stay together or they get unhappy quick. That's why I'll never understand waiting until marriage. If you have different sex drives and different sexual interests, that shyt would be a nightmare, right?

If you're a freak with a high sex drive, you need a partner that's that way too. If you don't care as much about sex, you need a partner that way too.

Many people will act you're shallow if sex is a primary ingredient for what you look for in a partner, and that's madness to me.

 

[Rhyse]

The best advice i can give to the brothas that are thinking about having kids is to focus on genetics. When Lavar ball said it, I ignored it. But genetics are real. Get a woman with a good health history, make sure she's smart. Kids pick up their parents traits so you have to look at all of that. If you want your child to play sports, get you an athletic woman. Get you an instagram thot with no talent if you want to, see how your kids turn out.

This is very true. Not only physically but personality and other characteristics. If your partner is lazy or messy your kid may pick that up no matter how much you stay on their ass. One of my kids literally has his Dad’s exact laugh. First time I heard it I was like WTF! My bonus son looks and acts just like his Mom even though we raised him full time since a toddler. It is the craziest thing. Don’t just stop with them. Look at the partners parents for physical and mental health issues.

 

[RTF]

Do you breh, it's your life.

For me - I would love to have kids. I want a large family and my girl is already 31. I plan to spend the next 5 years getting her pregnant multiple times.

One big drive for me is that I'm financially stable and have a good woman. I have the type of personality where I need to be anchored or I'll be doing fukkery. I spent the last 5 years travelling, partying and bussing nuts on beautiful women. And my taste in women is pretty narrow (like 70% is the same type) so i would just be doing the same things again and again in new cities/countries.

Marriage and kids feels like an exciting new chapter in my life.

Again being financially stable is a game changer and I pretty much only date women that are good with money too

 

[LezJepzin]

I'll be turning 40 this Summer and it's starting to get to me . Not in a relationship currently and being in CA during the pandemic makes it extremely difficult to date . I think I'm feeling the pressure from my sister (she's 42 , no kids) and my mom when it comes to extending the bloodline. However, I want to be in a much better position financially first.

I do see myself having one within a few years from now. Ideally three but we'll see. I have some slight anxiety issues but for the most part, I'm in excellent health . Just crazy hearing about people I went to high school with that are already grandparents.

Having a family with everything going on in the world right now is

 

[CopiousX]

The point of life from a biological standpoint is to pass genes on, but as a philosophy major, I think for you ( literally you, @CopiousX ) that the point of your life is to find what it means for you, and live the best life you can in accordance with it, ideally being grateful for as much as possible, and doing the best you can to serve others in a way that also makes you feel fulfilled. The love that we show others, and the differences that we make in this world, are some of the few things we can do that will ripple out through eternity. If you really want to be a father and help raise a new generation, without having kid, you can look into adopting. And it's not the same, but you can be a mentor or do good things to help out the youth.

Ummm... I dont think we've spoken before, breh. So I think you got the wrong poster. Im assuming you thought I was a philosophy Major? That sentence was phrased kinda funny. Or maybe you are the philo major? Im personally the exact opposite of a philosopher. Im a computer engineer.


We dont really draw meaning from our observations. Nature kinda implies meaning through laws(thermodynamics, Newton, electric theory) but we don't really delve deep into it. I can show you correlation in data, but thats it.

 

[ogc163]

I know I am an outlier but I hate children. I cant stand to be around them. I dont like it when they talk to me. They are loud, shyt and piss themselves and carry all kinds of diseases. I avoid family gathering because I dont like being around my nieces and nephews. I used to be able to hide this part of my personality when i was younger but the older I get it gets harder and other people can definitely tell when you hate children, especially their own and start acting funny towards me if i dont baby talk to them like its some kind of fukking poodle.

fukk no I dont want no kids


this felt really good writing it out.

 

[ogc163]

As stated before resources are major, and I fear I would end up being on some Tiger Dad shyt who failed because the resources aren't tight. Coming from a poor/ working-class background the most conscientious people in my family are often respected because they're compared to chaotic relatives. But in general, their kids are fukk-ups or major disappointments. Being a highly organized parent generally doesn't move the needle if the institutions, the child's peers, and the neighborhood undermine the lessons of the home on a consistent basis.

Thus, it's always been important for me to have a decent margin of safety when it comes to resources and kids. My ex was satisfied living in these working-class overpriced NY/NJ suburbs primarily so she could feel better than people in the hood, but these suburbs don't offer enough positive impact for a kid and she didn't understand that.

 

[levitate]

We have two kids. That will be it. I actually wanted more...

Being a parent is an incredibly tough yet rewarding responsibility.

The costs are astronomical. Especially for us because we put our kids in daycare early. We had/have no family anywhere near us so we couldn’t do the “send them to the grandparents” route. When we were renting we were spending 2x rent on daycare. We are also contributing to their 529 plans. Not to mention health/dental insurance...

There is a lot of stress involved. From day-to-day stress of your son constantly jumping off the fukking couch and hoping he doesn’t get hurt, to broader stress of school safety, car/transportation safety and their general health.

You will have no “free time”. I have to sneak in “free time” late at night to play a video game or watch an episode of something or make love with the wife Our weekends are spent supporting the kids activities (soccer, karate, swimming and shyt...at least pre-Covid).

With all that said, we enjoy seeing our kids enjoy. We enjoy teaching them, watching them learn, watching them grow. Their personalities. We simply enjoy being with them. It’s kinda difficult to explain but I just love being in their presence.

 

[Based Lord Zedd]

I have one child now, want 1? more.
I don't believe (or disbelieve) in an afterlife, so having a child to carry on after me is important. Especially when other people are out here having multiple children.
I'm glad I waited and am in a stable relationship. Has allowed me to be more $$ secure, not need to rely on daycare, etc.
Have no idea if we're doing any of it right and it's hard, but worth it IMO. It's also given me a lot of perspective on my parents and more respect for what they went through.

 

[Poetical Poltergeist]

I have one child now, want 1? more.
I don't believe (or disbelieve) in an afterlife, so having a child to carry on after me is important. Especially when other people are out here having multiple children.
I'm glad I waited and am in a stable relationship. Has allowed me to be more $$ secure, not need to rely on daycare, etc.
Have no idea if we're doing any of it right and it's hard, but worth it IMO. It's also given me a lot of perspective on my parents and more respect for what they went through.

sorry bruh but that made me laugh for some reason.

 

[Based Lord Zedd]

sorry bruh but that made me laugh for some reason.

It's the truth. No one knows the real answer, I choose not to pick a side.

 

[levitate]

It's the truth. No one knows the real answer, I choose not to pick a side.

Yeah, I don’t understand the comedy of it.

 

[Poetical Poltergeist]

It's the truth. No one knows the real answer, I choose not to pick a side.

Its all good just didn't understand the point of believing in an afterlife or not and having kids. I dont get the correlation I guess so it made me laugh.

 

[analog]

@analog much respect to you, brother. I really commend you for not comprising your core values, even if it means potentially losing your marriage over it. I think that takes a lot of guts to do. A lot of people would placate their spouse and just go through the motions of maintaining their faith, even if deep down they let it go. I think it's noble that you don't want to bullshyt your kid and are living an authentic life about your atheism.

I really wish I were religious. I've read mad studies that suggest religious people are happier. I've experienced some things on reflective psilocybin (mushroom) sessions in recent years that turned me from a staunch atheist to being more truly agnostic. I feel there really might be something more powerful out there that we don't understand, but until I see the evidence I'm not able to bring myself to being a main of faith. I just can't get myself there.

Anyways, just wanted to salute you for not compromising yourself just to keep someone else placated.

I've spent too much time putting others before myself with little to no benefit in the end so I'm pretty much done with that. Only ones I'm sacrificing my happiness for are my kids at this point.

It's funny you mention your experience with shrooms. I recently OD'd on edibles (took a hundred milligram dose) and literally lost my mind. The shyt started off with my entire body feeling pure bliss, smiling uncontrollably from ear to ear (and absolutely incredible sex ) to these extreme endless hallucinations. I quite literally lost touch with reality and believed I was gone mentally. Worst I've ever felt. I went through massive amounts of regret, shame, agony... with my only concerns being having ruined the lives of my wife and kids. And at no point did I plead to a higher being... and this was by far the lowest point in my life