When I moved to California a few years ago I'm in my apartment, just moved in so nothing was set up. My brother and his wife wanted a quick bite.
Google search a pizzaria.
Me: "Hi. Yeah could I get a small pie. Plain."
Guy: (Uncomfortable silence) We..um..well sell pizzas.
Me:

(sigh) Ok. May I have a plain cheese pizza, please?
fukkin literally had the

face, hoping my annoyed self came thru on the phone.
FYI: California pizza is trash. And no I'm not gonna get into this shyt with you non NY baloney washers. You don't know what real pizza is and you never will.