When y’all say focus on yourself, what exactly does that mean?

[The Prince of All Saiyans]

in the mirror

 

[TheHonorableOmarSharif]

Not being glib, but if focusing on yourself means soliciting opinions from others to determine on how to be your best self, then that's the true starting point.

Ask yourself that. Seriously and soberly based on both past experience and future goals and work from that. Ain't no manual to this thing called life...but the answers that will be best manifested in your life will come from your personal reflection of it. And the steps you choose to take moving forward.

When's the last time you really took time to focus on YOU?

Respectfully,

O

 

[Silkk]

Don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm.

Thats how I see it.

Nice

 

[CarmelBarbie]

Man I got in shape, increases my income by $40k in two years, met a dime that I married, etc etc and I did all that while smoking, drinking, clubbing, fapping, whatever. Which is to say it’s possible to grow while still engaging in your vices (to SOME extent). That said, for me this means to identify what I want in life as well as who do I ideally want to be as a person and then to figure out the ways in which I need to develop to achieve those things. As an example, I realized that my people skills needed work so I spent A LOT of time going out and socializing. So it’s just really about figuring out what you want for you and your life and finding what you need to build or change to get there—then doing the research on how to make those changes, building a strategy and then implementing it.

Best post in this thread. I’m doing the same thing breh. Last two weeks, stayed out socializing, learning more about myself through other people than I have just being alone, and isolating myself.

Exposing yourself to new opportunities and new people can build you too. I’ve realized that being too “alone” and keeping to myself has probably holding me back more than helping me, but that’s just me. I’m still working on self goals but getting out too. Making sure that I’m not spending weekend nights at home, let alone work nights. Yolo. Have fun and stack your bread brehs.


Getting out and meeting people, socializing, and what not leads to more opportunities believe it or not. There needs to be a balance, between working on yourself but also not isolating yourself. Went out again today, made some friends, met a couple of brehs—completely organically. Been meeting people left and right. Some of the brehs are future dates, others are potential friends, others potential people that can help me with business goals, and so on.


Then again I’m not necessarily introvert, so I need people.

 

[kevm3]

Focus on yourself means to stop blaming everyone and everything else for your status in life and stop worrying about what anyone else is doing and to step your game up

 

[Swirv]

Learning skills to increase my income and inner peace. Eating healthier and getting adequate physical activity. Spending time with those who are low stress. Travelling.

 

[ExodusNirvana]

Sounds selfish. Can you focus on yourself and have people who are dependent on you?

That's the thing...."you" includes your dependents and/or responsibilities

 

[-deleted-]

Also, understand that women will NOT understand this. Do not tell women you are improving yourself. They will NEVER get it, because most women are “set for society” by the time they become teenagers. Don’t tell other men unless they are extremely close and are willing to help on your journey. Men who will remind you not to smoke in a cyph, men who will remind you to ignore a woman who’s not lusting after you from the jump, men who will remind you to be in the gym, push you to go beyond your limits..

Women will wonder why you’re isolating yourself to improve yourself. Men MUST continuously improve themselves..Women only need to exist. A woman being social and outgoing is her means of “improving herself.” All that means is she’s putting herself out there to find a mate because ultimately what she wants to do is be in a relationship and have children. Men need to learn how to function alone at least once in their lives, because they are often more alone than women generally. Women thrive off being social because they are social creatures who do not get corrected for their wrongs most of the time.

Basically...don’t take advice on how to live your life as a man from a woman. They only want to get pregnant so their POV is not yours. Focus on yourself and get your shyt right, and watch those same women cream themselves.

 

[Ezekiel 25:17]

I’ll give you the real answer no one wants to hear:

It honestly means you have to focus time and effort away from vices and possibly guilty pleasures. The club, women, alcohol, drugs...Usually when guys say this it means going to the gym, getting your money up, getting a degree, a cert, etc...Anything that helps your life on paper.

What they won’t tell you is that this is going to be a very lonely road. At times it feels like a chore. At times it can feel like you’re just chasing a goal that takes forever. And, it can be very boring at times. But the journey is what makes you focused.

There was a point where I ignored women for months and just focused on the gym. They didn’t want me anyway when I would approach and pursue, so I just went ham on my fitness... Not even for women neither, because at that point I internalized it that getting someone to like me back was a lost cause, so let me just love myself. It sounds weird but it’s true. Anyway, I would go to the gym day in and day out. My health was on point and I felt invincible. Fell off the path for a bit, but I’m steadily getting back to where I was. It was VERY boring at first, but once I made it a routine it wasn’t that bad. You’re gonna get frustrated and you might spend some Friday nights solo.

But, it’s worth it.

You got it way overblown.

Nobody is saying to ignore women. How the hell you supposed to get better at women and you ignoring them? Everything is about balance. Work on yourself and don't go out of your way for women.

 

[-deleted-]

You got it way overblown.

Nobody is saying to ignore women. How the hell you supposed to get better at women and you ignoring them? Everything is about balance. Work on yourself and don't go out of your way for women.

I said it before, you don’t have to follow what I did. I did it because I was resentful of women so it was easier to just ignore them because I knew they wouldn’t want me anyway.

Do what works for you.

 

[CarmelBarbie]

Also, understand that women will NOT understand this. Do not tell women you are improving yourself. They will NEVER get it, because most women are “set for society” by the time they become teenagers. Don’t tell other men unless they are extremely close and are willing to help on your journey. Men who will remind you not to smoke in a cyph, men who will remind you to ignore a woman who’s not lusting after you from the jump, men who will remind you to be in the gym, push you to go beyond your limits..

Women will wonder why you’re isolating yourself to improve yourself. Men MUST continuously improve themselves..Women only need to exist. A woman being social and outgoing is her means of “improving herself.” All that means is she’s putting herself out there to find a mate because ultimately what she wants to do is be in a relationship and have children. Men need to learn how to function alone at least once in their lives, because they are often more alone than women generally. Women thrive off being social because they are social creatures who do not get corrected for their wrongs most of the time.

Basically...don’t take advice on how to live your life as a man from a woman. They only want to get pregnant so their POV is not yours. Focus on yourself and get your shyt right, and watch those same women cream themselves.

I feel like this was shading my post. You don’t even know me, yet your assuming a lot about me, simply because I’m a woman. Yes, I do have myself out there for those reasons, but those are not the only reasons I socialize. I love getting to know people, making connections and getting outside of my comfort zone—I’m not a friendly person, so actually socializing is improving my social skills. And I’ve made some friends in my city along the way, which was another goal of mine.

Loneliness and long periods of isolation isn’t healthy. Millennials And The Loneliness Epidemic

I’m not saying that you have to be a social butterfly, I’m only saying that while focusing on yourself and improving yourself, you don’t have to isolate yourself from others. And imo, you shouldn’t. Forming connections and being social(to some extent) is an important part of humanity. Sometimes we learn a lot about ourselves through our interactions with others, through helping others, through not focusing so much on our issues(it’s all about me) and getting out of our heads...

You should always be working to improve yourself. I’ll never argue against that. But I thInk it’s possible to be introspective and focus on your goals, while also maintaining healthy socialization with others. Not to mention if one of your struggles is woman for instance, completely isolating yourself from women seems counterproductive imo. How will you get better with women in that case?

I don’t know you breh, and it’s true that as a woman I will never be able to identify with what it’s like to be a man, but please don’t assume that my only goals and reason for socializing are pregnancy and relationships.

I wish you luck on your journey. Have a good day.

 

[b_priest9mm]

For me it comes down to three things:

Math, work and Training (fitness, martial arts, etc).

I focus on these three things, and the rest will follow.

People look at me like I have two heads when I tell them I keep to myself and do these things, but I see where this road leads.

Just gotta keep working.

 

[-deleted-]

I feel like this was shading my post. You don’t even know me, yet your assuming a lot about me, simply because I’m a woman. Yes, I do have myself out there for those reasons, but those are not the only reasons I socialize. I love getting to know people, making connections and getting outside of my comfort zone—I’m not a friendly person, so actually socializing is improving my social skills. And I’ve made some friends in my city along the way, which was another goal of mine.

Loneliness and long periods of isolation isn’t healthy. Millennials And The Loneliness Epidemic

I’m not saying that you have to be a social butterfly, I’m only saying that while focusing on yourself and improving yourself, you don’t have to isolate yourself from others. And imo, you shouldn’t. Forming connections and being social(to some extent) is an important part of humanity. Sometimes we learn a lot about ourselves through our interactions with others, through helping others, through not focusing so much on our issues(it’s all about me) and getting out of our heads...

You should always be working to improve yourself. I’ll never argue against that. But I thInk it’s possible to be introspective and focus on your goals, while also maintaining healthy socialization with others. Not to mention if one of your struggles is woman for instance, completely isolating yourself from women seems counterproductive imo. How will you get better with women in that case?

I don’t know you breh, and it’s true that as a woman I will never be able to identify with what it’s like to be a man, but please don’t assume that my only goals and reason for socializing are pregnancy and relationships.

I wish you luck on your journey. Have a good day.

No, it wasn’t meant to shade you...

I am speaking from experience when it comes to seeing how men and women improve themselves. What you’re saying is extremely true, yes. But in a male dominated space it may not apply to a lot of men in practice...

Or maybe it just might. Never know, there are multiple ways to go about this..Have a great day.

 

[CarmelBarbie]

No, it wasn’t meant to shade you...

I am speaking from experience when it comes to seeing how men and women improve themselves. What you’re saying is extremely true, yes. But in a male dominated space it may not apply to a lot of men in practice...

Or maybe it just might. Never know, there are multiple ways to go about this..Have a great day.

Just realized who you are. smh. Was wondering why your posting style seemed familiar "benstealer".

 

[-deleted-]

Just realized who you are. smh. Was wondering why your posting style seemed familiar "benstealer".

Nope...you’re still wrong. PM for details..