Where Are the Brothas? How the Continued Erasure of Black Men’s Voices on the Marriage Question Perp

[Ziggiy]

black women can date blue collar black men instead of holding out for the rich ones... just a thought

The article is about MIDDLE CLASS Black men and women. The very blue collar workers your talking about.

By Joy L. Hightower | April 25, 2016

In 2009, Linsey Davis, a Black female correspondent for the ABC News, wrote a feature article for Nightline. She had one question: “Why are successful Black women the least likely than any other race or gender to marry?” Her story went viral, sparking a national debate. Within the year, social media, newsrooms, self-help books, Black television shows and films were ablaze with commentary that interrogated the increasing trend of never married, middle-class Black women. The conclusions of this debate were elusive at best, mostly muddled by different opinions about the conflicting relationship desires of Black women and Black men.

But the debate made one thing clear: the controversy about the declining rates of Black marriage is a middle-class issue, and, more specifically, a problem for Black women. Middle-class Black men only enter as a specter of Black women’s singleness; their voices are largely muted in the conversation.

This opinion piece challenges the gendered media portrayal by foregrounding the neglected perspectives of middle-class Black men that are drowned out by the hysteria that surrounds professional Black women’s singleness.[1] I argue that when middle-class men enter the debate, they do so much in the same way as their lower-class brethren: their failure to marry Black women. Middle-class and lower-class Black men alike have suffered a rhetorical death. A popular 2015 New York Times article proclaims “1.5 million Black men are ‘missing’” from everyday lived experiences due to incarceration, homicide, and HIV-related deaths.

This pervasive explanation of Black men’s “disappearance” knows no class variation. Despite changing social mores regarding later marriage entry across social groups, middle-class Black men are described as “missing” from the marriage markets of Black women. In this way, media narratives link the strength of Black men to their marriageability.

Black men’s relationship decisions—when and whom they marry—have been singled out as the cause of declining Black marriage rates. Black men’s higher rates of interracial marriage are linked to the “new marriage squeeze,” (Crowder and Tolnay 2000), which identifies the difficulty for professional Black women who seek to marry Black men of the same ilk. Because of this “squeeze,” in his book, “Is Marriage for White People?”, Stanford Law Professor Richard Banks (2011) recommends that middle-class Black women should emulate middle-class Black men who allegedly marry outside of their race. Such a suggestion prods at one of the most-debated cultural insecurities of Black America, namely, the angst regarding Black men’s patterns of interracial relationships.

Indeed, it is true, middle-class Black men marry outside their race, and do so twice as often as Black women. However, this statistic fails to take into account that the majority of middle-class Black men marry Black women. Eighty-five percent of college-educated Black men are married to Black women, and nearly the same percent of married Black men with salaries over $100,000 are married to Black women.

Black women are not “All the Single Ladies” despite attempts to make the two groups synonymous.

The media’s perpetuation of dismal statistical trends about Black marriage obscures the entangled roots of white racism, namely, its production of intra-racial quarrels as a mechanism of control. For example, the riveting 2009 finding that 42% of Black women are unmarried made its media rounds while mysteriously unaccompanied by the similar 2010 statistic that 48% of Black men have never been married. This “finding” also dismissed the fact that both Black men and Black women marry, though later in the lifecycle. But, it is no coincidence that this rhetoric pits Black men and Black women against one another; it is centuries-old plantation logic that now permeates contemporary media narratives about Black intimacy.

 

[Hungerpain]

Another l thread where the gold digging wench that married a fukking Arab feels as tho she can critique black men and offer her useless bias 2 cents
Never fails.

bytch should be praying right now or making Ahmed his Halal lunch instead she worried about what we doing.

 

[Serious]

Men are aware of the potential downsides of marriage.

This one quote stood out to me:

Black men are more likely to say they are looking for a long-term relationship (43 percent) than are Black women (25 percent).[2] My qualitative analysis provides the “why” to this statistical trend. Respondents revealed that in some of their dating and relationship experiences, they felt women were trying to accomplish the goal of marriage.

I'm not against a monogamous relationship, then seeing where that goes and if it turns into marriage, but from what I've encountered a lot of women have been ingrained to seek marriage, as if its some sort of checklist to do before they die.

I've been turned off when I've encountered how pushy some women are towards marriage, when true compatibility hasn't even been resolved. If I get married, I want to stay married. I know too many men that got married and were living in misery until divorce, I'm not tryin waste that type of time.

 

[Serious]

This reminds me of the brother Kumasi out in California speaking on how the system caused black people to become instruments of their own destruction. The context was related to Cali gangbanging. But with the quotes above you can see the same thing has happened with both discussions of and relationships between black men and women. It's one thing for black men and women to not be on the same page, but it's another thing entirely when we're antagonistic towards one another. The conversations happening on Twitter don't represent the average black person's thought process. However, mainstream media often enough follows social media's lead. Mainstream media amplifies the vocal minority toxic gripes on Twitter. It's not a good thing.

drop a link to this kind sir.

 

[UncleTomFord15]

I guess it’s all on black women. Because men are just dying to get married. There are tons of reasons why people don’t get married beyond being bad at choosing partners the BIGGEST reason is that the partner could be a good one but just doesn’t want to get married. It’s crazy how so many of you guys on here are completely against marriage, or want to wait decades to get married but some how black women are supposed still be married by a certain age or even at all. Who are they supposed to marry if the men don’t want to get married?

Im not against marriage

 

[Easy-E]

1. The article does not talk about rich Black men.

2. Amongst women with college degrees who marry men without college degrees, Black women are #1.

" If we narrow our focus to those college graduates who do marry, the race gap remains clear: compared to whites, black college graduates are much more likely to have “married down,” in terms of education. White, married college graduates are slightly more likely (11% vs. 8%) to have a better-educated husband (i.e., with post-graduate qualfications). But the real race gap appears between those with equally-educated and less-educated husbands. Married, black college graduates are much more likely to have a husband with a lower level of education, compared to whites of a similar background (58% vs. 48%)"


Single black female BA seeks educated husband: Race, assortative mating and inequality

This has been explained before;

Yes, they are more likely to "marry down," but, least likely to marry, period.

So, yes, it appears most of the black women marrying are the few willing to marry down.

 

[saturn7]

By Joy L. Hightower | April 25, 2016

In 2009, Linsey Davis, a Black female correspondent for the ABC News, wrote a feature article for Nightline. She had one question: “Why are successful Black women the least likely than any other race or gender to marry?” Her story went viral, sparking a national debate. Within the year, social media, newsrooms, self-help books, Black television shows and films were ablaze with commentary that interrogated the increasing trend of never married, middle-class Black women. The conclusions of this debate were elusive at best, mostly muddled by different opinions about the conflicting relationship desires of Black women and Black men.

But the debate made one thing clear: the controversy about the declining rates of Black marriage is a middle-class issue, and, more specifically, a problem for Black women. Middle-class Black men only enter as a specter of Black women’s singleness; their voices are largely muted in the conversation.

I remember these shows. Just more propaganda pieces pushing that bullshyt narrative that "all the good Black men are in jail, dead or gay narrative.
shytting on Blue Collar brothers (and brothers in general) in front of the world. This shyt has been pushed since the 90's.

Keep it real. These women never wanted men with "middle class" incomes. You know they desired men with "upper middle class incomes" or higher.
Until the Black Manosphere came around there was no counter to this narrative in the media. Now we know that these women have overlooked quality Black men because they didn't earn enough or their jobs or careers didn't have the status to satisfy these women.

Black men had to eat this for decades. Got the world looking at Black women as superwomen single mothers with several degrees, and Black men are just abusive, education hating, baby-making deadbeats.

This why I have no sympathy for the women who participated and help push this bullshyt over the last 3 decades. Also like others have said, the high cost of a failed marriage also makes it less attractive to men. Women initiate divorces the majority of the time, and it seems like for random ass reasons. Men will bear the financial cost of these divorces.

 

[George's Dilemma]

drop a link to this kind sir.

Here's the exact quote,

“part of the mechanics of oppressing people is to pervert them to the extent that they become the instruments of their own oppression. ”

It's from the Bloods and Crips Made In America documentary. That link below is age restricted so you'll have to sign in but it's time stamped at 31:44 mark for context. All the other links had out of sync audio.

 

[ogc163]

This has been explained before;

Yes, they are more likely to "marry down," but, least likely to marry, period.

So, yes, it appears most of the black women marrying are the few willing to marry down.

I'll repeat what I've said the previous times you've emphasized this point, it doesn't change the conclusions of the numbers . Even with Black women having low overall marriage rates, it does not change or negate the fact that college educated Black women are # 1 when it comes to marrying "down".

 

[Samori Toure]

Why would people care what Black men think about declining marriage rates in the Black community? Black women and the White media got what they wanted out of the narrative of declining Black marriage rates. They all blamed the Black man. Apparently all Black men are unavailable because they were in jail or gay or inconsequential or whatever other bull shyt they want to throw out there about Black men to say that they are not marriage material.

There has been no real examination of Black women's role in declining marriages in the Black community. Nobody ever points out why Black women are not marriage material, because then Black women would levy a bunch of "shaming" accusations rather than take a collective look at why they are not marriage material. So a lot of Black women shyt is just swept under the rug and the blame is on Black men. They still blame Black men for the decline of marriages in the Black community, even though White women and Hispanic women don't seem to have many problems finding Black husbands, which defeats the whole notion that Black men are not marriage material.

This article spells something out very nicely. Black women may not be married, but that does not mean that they are single. The dudes that they are with just don't deem them as marriage material. The question then comes down to why?

 

[Anerdyblackguy]

But what is the suggestion? You can make the argument that Kevin Samuels rise is a manifestation of BM being ignored in this debate. Interesting times we are living in

 

[Ziggiy]

But what is the suggestion? You can make the argument that Kevin Samuels rise is a manifestation of BM being ignored in this debate. Interesting times we are living in

I wouldn’t even say thats an argument. Thats pure undisputed fact as Kevin has said it himself

 

[Wiseborn]

@CarmelBarbie already told you there's a lot of Black women who are team #GMS I'm starting to think this whole shyt is to sell Black women solutions.


There's continuing fallout from Mochafest 2019 in Jamaica. Basically when the country was locked down they allowed Mochafest basically a Black woman's freaknik to go on.


Also way more straight Black women are getting killed by HIV/AIDS than straight Black Men. HIV is a huge problem with Gay Black Men and trans Black people though.


Also you see how stats get inflated the study says 1.5 million Black Men are "missing" and somehow it got to 2million. First of all those dudes aren't missing they just moved out of the communities they were born in. The Prison and homicide rates are falling so there's actually more Black Men out here than before.


Less Black People are being born though.

 

[Taadow]

...But with the quotes above you can see the same thing has happened with both discussions of and relationships between black men and women. It's one thing for black men and women to not be on the same page, but it's another thing entirely when we're antagonistic towards one another.

If I overstand the article correctly, it seems to say that the problem with the so-called “discussions of and relationships between Black men and women” is that they aren’t “discussions”...there is only talking to Black women about what’s wrong; nobody is talking to Black men.

But we knew this.

The crown jewel in this article is the stat “25% of Black women want a long-term commitment compared to 43% of Black men”. That harmonizes with the “only 1-in-4 Black women will marry” stat we have heard before.









THESE WOMEN DO NOT WANT TO BE MARRIED

 

[George's Dilemma]

If I overstand the article correctly, it seems to say that the problem with the so-called “discussions of and relationships between Black men and women” is that they aren’t “discussions”...there is only talking to Black women about what’s wrong; nobody is talking to Black men.

But we knew this.

The crown jewel in this article is the stat “25% of Black women want a long-term commitment compared to 43% of Black men”. That harmonizes with the “only 1-in-4 Black women will marry” stat we have heard before.









THESE WOMEN DO NOT WANT TO BE MARRIED

Bro I'm about to hit the sack but I need to reexamine this. Its worth discussing.