@WHIPPEDCREAM How was your date last night?

[⠝⠕⠏⠑]

Personally I don't think you need to involve urself with someone who is living with an ex. Was in a similar situation until recently with my ex and we never brought others over out of mutual respect. Even tho we weren't together it just wasn't a good look.
Keep him at arm's length until he and his crib are single and free of exes. And yeah that was a disaster and a red flag.

In fact he is kinda messy for even bringing u into that situation. But that's just me.

 

[DarkHorse23]

Personally I don't think you need to involve urself with someone who is living with an ex. Was in a similar situation until recently with my ex and we never brought others over out of mutual respect. Even tho we weren't together it just wasn't a good look.
Keep him at arm's length until he and his crib are single and free of exes. And yeah that was a disaster and a red flag.

In fact he is kinda messy for even bringing u into that situation. But that's just me.

Nah she needs to stay with this guy. She needs some positive experiences with black men to change her perspective.

 

[Worthless Loser]

The term "black boy" is shyt white girls say when referencing black men.

 

[Abayo]

At everything

 

[Blackout]

I say "white boys," too.

Bring up those posts where you said "white boy"

 

[Afro]

Personally I don't think you need to involve urself with someone who is living with an ex. Was in a similar situation until recently with my ex and we never brought others over out of mutual respect. Even tho we weren't together it just wasn't a good look.
Keep him at arm's length until he and his crib are single and free of exes. And yeah that was a disaster and a red flag.

In fact he is kinda messy for even bringing u into that situation. But that's just me.

Co-sign, until the ex is out the picture you are sharing time and energy.

You are forced to get a glimpse of a failed relationship nearing it's end and it's never pretty.

 

[⠝⠕⠏⠑]

Nah she needs to stay with this guy. She needs some positive experiences with black men to change her perspective.

That wasn't a positive experience and he might like drama based on what she's posting. I was once with somebody like this. They liked putting exes and new chicks in precarious situations b/c they got off on seeing chicks fight over them.

It's not healthy. An experience like that would only serve to reinforce negative stereotypes that blk guys are messy. Also, nobody needs or deserves anything. We can't allow bullshyt to color our perspectives on others. If she can't give blk men the benefit of the doubt she doesn't deserve them. Obviously I think she is fine b/c she's dating blk dudes but at some point we all have to let go of any bitterness or past disdain we have to fully appreciate a good person in our future.

 

[KOOL-AID]

 

[O.T.I.S.]

Co-sign, until the ex is out the picture you are sharing time and energy.

You are forced to get a glimpse of a failed relationship nearing it's end and it's never pretty.

An ex is an ex

They're just dating, i could understand if they were together.

Seems like dude was a nice guy just inexperienced. "Bree" probably wasn't even an ex.. Maybe she wanted to be but he wasn't down but was still cool with her. She asked to squat at his place and he let her do it for free.

Old girl on the 3rd date turning down sex and nikka didn't even trip.

He let old girl beat his ass before hemming her up... Sounds like a decent dude to me

 

[DarkHorse23]

That wasn't a positive experience and he might like drama based on what she's posting. I was once with somebody like this. They liked putting exes and new chicks in precarious situations b/c they got off on seeing chicks fight over them.

It's not healthy. An experience like that would only serve to reinforce negative stereotypes that blk guys are messy. Also, nobody needs or deserves anything. We can't allow bullshyt to color our perspectives on others. If she can't give blk men the benefit of the doubt she doesn't deserve them. Obviously I think she is fine b/c she's dating blk dudes but at some point we all have to let go of any bitterness or past disdain we have to fully appreciate a good person in our future.

I really don't think that this guy's MO, but it's her choice at the end of the day. Do what you think is best @WHIPPEDCream
Regardless you gained my respect by stepping out of your comfort zone and trying some new.

 

[O.T.I.S.]

I really don't think that this guy's MO, but it's her choice at the end of the day. Do what you think is best @WHIPPEDCream
Regardless you gained my respect by stepping out of your comfort zone and trying some new.

Yeah she wasn't even the one fighting, it was him

 

[WHIPPEDCream]

So how was this his fault again?

He let you sleep/squat and you didn't even have to fukk..

He let an ex squat at his place trying to be nice but she knew what time it was and purposely acted out.

And at them white ass alt-names

It wasn't his fault.He was just doing what he had to do.That was my first time seeing a domestic violence situation unfold.Even if he tried to remove himself from the situation and leave his apartment, she would have been beating him all the way to the door.I am one of the most feminists posters there is but in this situation I am not going to shame him for hitting her back.& As he was driving me home, he said that the main reason why he hit her like that was because at some point he assumed Bree was going to turn on him and start to attack me.

& The thing is Bree is not even his ex, it did come out on the drive home he was messing with her from time to time.He said the last time they had sex was early November.Yes I now understand Bree's frustration but that is no excuse for her behavior.At one point I did think this chick was going to try to attack me myself.She could have easily grabbed a knife from the kitchen or a piece of glass from the kitchen floor, I don't know her from a hole in the wall, so I didn't know what she was capable of.

 

[O.T.I.S.]

It wasn't his fault.He was just doing what he had to do.That was my first time seeing a domestic violence situation unfold.Even if he tried to remove himself from the situation and leave his apartment, she would have been beating him all the way to the door.I am one of the most feminists posters there is but in this situation I am not going to shame him for hitting her back.& As he was driving me home, he said that the main reason why he hit her like that was because at some point he assumed Bree was going to turn on him and start to attack me.

& The thing is Bree is not even his ex, it did come out on the drive home he was messing with her from time to time.He said the last time they had sex was early November.Yes I now understand Bree's frustration but that is no excuse for her behavior.At one point I did think this chick was going to try to attack me myself.She could have easily grabbed a knife from the kitchen or a piece of glass from the kitchen floor, I don't know her from a hole in the wall, so I didn't know what she was capable of.

Well yeah I feel you on being concerned. And yeah, he probably shouldn't have brought you into that situation because obviously she had feelings/ulterior motive for staying than he did.

Sounds like he was just inexperienced abd she was just a ratchet trying to squat or lock him down by asking to stay with him. They definitely weren't on the same page but he didn't sound like a bad dude or a bad black dude.. Just not perfect with this situation

 

[⠝⠕⠏⠑]

An ex is an ex

They're just dating, i could understand if they were together.

Seems like dude was a nice guy just inexperienced. "Bree" probably wasn't even an ex.. Maybe she wanted to be but he wasn't down but was still cool with her. She asked to squat at his place and he let her do it for free.

Old girl on the 3rd date turning down sex and nikka didn't even trip.

He let old girl beat his ass before hemming her up... Sounds like a decent dude to me

I really don't think that this guy's MO, but it's her choice at the end of the day. Do what you think is best @WHIPPEDCream
Regardless you gained my respect by stepping out of your comfort zone and trying some new.

Ya'll might be onto something.
I'm just sensitive to what's appropriate and what's inappropriate when dealing with relationships so I tend to anticipate how certain situations might make people feel.

When I was still rooming with my ex, we both saw others but we never brought others to our shared space. It's just not a good idea and out of respect for others. People are territorial, like to try others...I mean it's just not good sense.

He could very well have had okay intentions but it might mean he's just not aware which is still something you wouldn't wanna deal with if u just met this person.

Like think about how messy this would have looked like if the shoe was on the other foot and it was a girl bringing a random dude home even tho she still lives with her ex.

He needs a little more awareness if he ain't being trifling because trust me, some people like set ups like these for validation. But he could have very well just not thought it thru.

 

[O.T.I.S.]

Ya'll might be onto something.
I'm just sensitive to what's appropriate and what's inappropriate when dealing with relationships so I tend to anticipate how certain situations might make people feel.

When I was still rooming with my ex, we both saw others but we never brought others to our shared space. It's just not a good idea and out of respect for others. People are territorial, like to try others...I mean it's just not good sense.

He could very well have had okay intentions but it might mean he's just not aware which is still something you wouldn't wanna deal with if u just met this person.

Like think about how messy this would have looked like if the shoe was on the other foot and it was a girl bringing a random dude home even tho she still lives with her ex.

He needs a little more awareness if he ain't being trifling because trust me, some people like set ups like these for validation. But he could have very well just not thought it thru.

True, but that was his crib and apparently, she wasn't even an ex.

Like I said, it seems she had an ulterior motive for being there or else she wouldn't have gotten that deep in her feelings and reacted like that. They never dated, just smashed a couple times..

And again, thats his crib. Honestly, he could've brought whoever he wanted over. I know if shoe was on the other foot it would be awkward but I would never try to be in that situation with someone I had feelings for.

I definitely wouldn't have tried to knuckle up over someone who wasn't and didn't want to be with me.