Who/where/what were you a decade ago?

[Eddy Gordo]

A decade ago I was a junior in High School. I didn’t know what I wanted to do after graduating. My only focus at the time was simply hanging out with friends and making sure I didn’t fail any of my classes.

Class of 11
Ain't been one like it since

 

[JackRoss]

I've changed for the good. Lost friends even though they still my people. I matured. 24 to 34 in August. Ups and downs but I'm still alive. 12 ain't shyt but I'm still alive.

Not sure if I'll survive this decade though

I'm hot headed with no gun but I treat everybody nice and with respect. Not sure if I want to keep doing that. People get on my nerves and act dumb ass fukk. I'll be lucky to make it to 2023

 

[lurker emeritus]

january 2010 i began my last semester of college
recovering from the recession, it took me a while to find a decent job
cause i gave up on catching on in my degree field
took me a min. to get in, but i've been working government jobs ever since
a decade later i start my new one w/va on the 6th

 

[murksiderock]

destructive, suicidal, lost, weak, dumb. I didn’t see myself living pass 25, all I saw was blackness when I thought about my future pass 25. I later discovered what that blackness was that I was seeing when I envisioned the future. Major Loss and a whole lot of shyt happening one after the next, and me trying to function through it all, trying to find that happiness that I just wouldn’t find.

Didn’t see myself becoming a mother, let alone a single mother, didn’t see my life going in the direction it did. But once it did, I still didn’t want to be here but I had to women up. I had a child that needed me and I knew I had to be more than what I was , I had to for him. It probably would have been better, if I didn’t try to do it all myself. If I didn’t try to handle the challenges that were brought upon me, shortly after having him. But I was like a boxer, seeing life like rounds, every challenge Jump back up get in the ring, put on the gloves and I was fighting, I wasn’t gonna let anything or anyone take me out. It made me develop this cold and numb demeanor, and I did a lot of fukked up things, hurt a lot of people and truly gave no fukk, because I was selfish and felt like it was me and my son against the world. No matter what happened I always told myself I got this, get back in that ring, because your not about to let that stop you fukk that. I had things to prove to others and myself. I guess. Lol.

Until I finally just got my ass beat because I was tired. And that darkness I always envisioned finally took over. God took everything from me, until I literally had no choice but to come to him on my knees, humble and ready to change, ready to trust in him. Or kill myself, if I’m being honest.

But God brought me out of it, and it took some years of him molding me and sharpening me to develop the character I needed to get where I am now. A decade later.

Now? I’m decent. There are areas of my life where the change has been so drastic and so unexpected, in such a positive way, which speaks so much to the sermon I used always hear that God will restore all that was lost(time, money, love, etc) and more. Because that is what he did. I also know what a lot of older Christians know: he can take it all away again at any point. He will put you through some shyt... have you looking at testimonies of people speaking of his goodness and grace on some “well damn can I get the God that you have? Because he ain’t been nowhere in sight in my damn life.”

But if it’s one thing I know now, always count my blessings, always have faith even when it doesn’t line up with what I’m seeing in front of me... because things can always change. For the worse or for the better. It’s always temporary, even when things feel so permanent, even when it feels like it can’t be redeemed, like there is no hope... There always is a way...

So I’m Going into this decade a wiser, stronger, less certain person, more important though is that I’m humble.

I still have goals and dreams that I hope to achieve in the next 5-10 years, which is better than where I was a decade ago when my only thoughts were honestly of suicide. But who knows?

Honestly I don’t know what the fukk to expect for this next decade, what I do know is that whatever happens, i’ll get through it somehow, and come out on the other side a better person, hopefully.

Man this was moving, and alot of it was relatable...

I don't think I was ever purposely suicidal, but someone told me some time ago that when you live life in a self-destructive fashion and don't really care if you live or die, that is equivalent to suicidal tendencies. That was part of the period I was in, I remember feeling like I'd go back to prison for Life or somebody would kill me and neither outcome had any emotional effect on me. It's a little jarring sometimes to recall earlier versions of myself and how I related and thought about things...

I've said it before, but I can't tell you how excited I am for the coming years. My age basically aligns with the decades, so the '20s will be the decade of my 30s. Life is infinitely better than what it was for me, I'm in such an emotionally healthy place and I feel getting stronger with time. The biggest challenge I have is with this deteriorating relationship with my girls' mother, but I'm working hard to allow myself healing from that and become a better person from that...

I feel great about everything else, when I'm having this conversation in January 2030 I envision being able to recount even more maturity. There are still challenges here and there, who doesn't have them? I don't feel like theres anything that can happen to me though, that I can't handle, personally if that was gonna happen to me I would have felt that way in my teens and 20s...

I get excited thinking about my growth and growth to come, and knowing I'm still incomplete as a man. The journey is what makes life's victories worth it to me, and I can't imagine how people peak in their teens and 20s. Life isn't designed that way, I dont think, I can honestly box my life in 1 or 3 or 5 or 10 year brackets and go across the board and tell you my life is better than periods before. Cats who peak early mean they are on some kind of decline the rest of their lives, and since I plan on being around for a few more decades, I only see this upward trajectory..

Congratulations on winning, sister. Stay encouraged and remind yourself that everything you want is attainable and the best things for your life is ahead of you!

 

[WaveCapsByOscorp™]

10 years ago, I was out of college and working at an arts studio. Even though I was out of college, I still lived really close to campus so it was almost like, for that first year out, I was still in school because I was still spending a decent amount of time on campus with people I knew.

Was trying to leave North Carolina though. did that the follow year...