Who/where/what were you a decade ago?

[murksiderock]

I was in prison


Now I'm sober and free. By some miracle I have no kids. Life is good, I'll be putting a down payment on a house in the burbs later this year

Always good to hear brothers remain free after doing time!

Was 23 living in NYC, but moving through the DMV and Chicago alot.

Was hustling my ass off making alot of money, and living a very self-destructive life

Lol I ain't gonna go into details like you, don't know why u feel so comfortable talking about shootings regardless of the statute of limitations Being up.


IV calmed down, no longer an angry person, luckly i was able to build great relationship and invest in myself.

Guess it's kind of a healing for me. Nowhere else in my life have I spoken freely about my past in the three years since I vacated that lifestyle, funny thing is I have a coworker a few years older than me, who thinks I should share my story with the young cats because he thinks that could show them a positive example of perserverance..


I haven't and i won't, he's the only person I've had these kinda convos with (he's 34 and also formerly involved). Mostly because to have those conversations with somebody, you gotta be able to understand what brought me from there to where I am now. These young boys weren't involved in it to the lengths I was, not the young boys working, and at any rate they mind on other shyt, they not grown enough mentally to appreciate how you go from being THAT to being THIS. So sharing my story with them would create fans but serve no purpose in teaching or healing or anything positively...

It's different on here because while I have Facebook and IG, I rarely use them. These blog boards or whatever allow me to speak freely and fully about anything I want, which is beneficial BECAUSE I dont have a large circle of people i talk to. It was also suggested once on here, I'm not sure if it was @re'up or someone else, that subconsciously relating experiences on here can be a positive because there is no safe space to talk about shyt that still affects you...

Regarding statute of limitations, yes, they are up in alot of shyt I discuss. But also, I'm a validated gang member in New York and North Carolina (not in Cali because I never got in any trouble there), my name can be run and is familiar in certain areas, so there isn't any big reveal here if "someone" wanted to search me out; lotta this shyt already known...

Most importantly, I don't live in fear. Those things aren't my existence anymore, and I walked away without owing anybody any money or favors or time. Life is different and better, there was only fear when I was still active, that hesitation isn't needed nor relevant now!

 

[Stir Fry]

Well. Throw it out . be responsible. change your ways

I know what your thinking

YOU change your ways.


well, you know what? maybe i will. Thanks. You just saved my life.

That’s mighty white of you. Thanks, brother.

*macho man voice*

 

[Barnett114]

Well. Throw it out . be responsible. change your ways

I know what your thinking

YOU change your ways.


well, you know what? maybe i will. Thanks. You just saved my life.

Sup @Yoda, I know your main is banned but stop derailing the thread

 

[getmoney310cpt]

I remember January 2010 cause my bro caught an attempt murder at our New Year’s Eve party set the tone for the year

 

[Child_Of_God]

A decade ago I was a junior in High School. I didn’t know what I wanted to do after graduating. My only focus at the time was simply hanging out with friends and making sure I didn’t fail any of my classes.

 

[MMA]

Skipping class because it was a waste of time

oh how life turned out

 

[010101]

looking into the void of my future

unaware of the pain ahead

praying just to fill the silence

life had a plan to make me wise at a steep price ha

*

 

[Ya' Cousin Cleon]

was cheating on the girl who'd become the BM to my first two sons, was working at Wal-Mart and stealing most of the time I was there

and to think that I considered that a come up from selling link.

 

[Doctor Wily]

Jan 2010.

Stuck at a warehouse job I was working at through high school & college virtually through my teens & 20s. Finally planning to leave that place in April of the same year.

Hourly pay rate : 15.35 / salary around 33,000 to 36,000.

Was in a steady relationship at the time.

Also the last year I smoked weed.

 

[CarmelBarbie]

destructive, suicidal, lost, weak, dumb. I didn’t see myself living pass 25, all I saw was blackness when I thought about my future pass 25. I later discovered what that blackness was that I was seeing when I envisioned the future. Major Loss and a whole lot of shyt happening one after the next, and me trying to function through it all, trying to find that happiness that I just wouldn’t find.

Didn’t see myself becoming a mother, let alone a single mother, didn’t see my life going in the direction it did. But once it did, I still didn’t want to be here but I had to women up. I had a child that needed me and I knew I had to be more than what I was , I had to for him. It probably would have been better, if I didn’t try to do it all myself. If I didn’t try to handle the challenges that were brought upon me, shortly after having him. But I was like a boxer, seeing life like rounds, every challenge Jump back up get in the ring, put on the gloves and I was fighting, I wasn’t gonna let anything or anyone take me out. It made me develop this cold and numb demeanor, and I did a lot of fukked up things, hurt a lot of people and truly gave no fukk, because I was selfish and felt like it was me and my son against the world. No matter what happened I always told myself I got this, get back in that ring, because your not about to let that stop you fukk that. I had things to prove to others and myself. I guess. Lol.

Until I finally just got my ass beat because I was tired. And that darkness I always envisioned finally took over. God took everything from me, until I literally had no choice but to come to him on my knees, humble and ready to change, ready to trust in him. Or kill myself, if I’m being honest.

But God brought me out of it, and it took some years of him molding me and sharpening me to develop the character I needed to get where I am now. A decade later.

Now? I’m decent. There are areas of my life where the change has been so drastic and so unexpected, in such a positive way, which speaks so much to the sermon I used always hear that God will restore all that was lost(time, money, love, etc) and more. Because that is what he did. I also know what a lot of older Christians know: he can take it all away again at any point. He will put you through some shyt... have you looking at testimonies of people speaking of his goodness and grace on some “well damn can I get the God that you have? Because he ain’t been nowhere in sight in my damn life.”

But if it’s one thing I know now, always count my blessings, always have faith even when it doesn’t line up with what I’m seeing in front of me... because things can always change. For the worse or for the better. It’s always temporary, even when things feel so permanent, even when it feels like it can’t be redeemed, like there is no hope... There always is a way...

So I’m Going into this decade a wiser, stronger, less certain person, more important though is that I’m humble.

I still have goals and dreams that I hope to achieve in the next 5-10 years, which is better than where I was a decade ago when my only thoughts were honestly of suicide. But who knows?

Honestly I don’t know what the fukk to expect for this next decade, what I do know is that whatever happens, i’ll get through it somehow, and come out on the other side a better person, hopefully.

 

[Sccit]

GET MY DICC SUCKED OFFA SOME THIZZ PILLS

 

[Memorial Stadium Piru]

January 2010 I was in 6th grade lol

Played football, sang in choir at church & in the chorus at school. I was a pretty good tenor too until I hit puberty lol.

For my chorus class, we had to sing a song in a group as a final project. Me and 2 other dudes did Nothing on You by BOB lmao. I sang Bruno Mars part & they switched the rapping verses

This was the same month the earthquake hit Haiti, I'm from South Florida so people went crazy

 

[SnowflakesByTheOZ]

I was 17. MBDTF was the soundtrack to my life. Snapbacks and G shocks. Trying to take cool pics for facebook.

 

[MenacingMonk]

Still soul searching. I was on the path though. Still trying to find my purpose in life.

 

[DragonKnight]

Senior in high school ready to graduate and go on to college

Same