Why Are Men Who Claim "Good/Nice" Hated Sohh?

[Neil Tyson]

Lol. And what are you attracted to? Are they attracted to you?

You mean females? I'm attracted to smart females who I can relate to. I'm dating a bookworm, for example.

I used to be attracted to extroverted types, they were the opposite of me but they brought me out of my shell at times. Now I turn to the types who are the opposite.

 

[Neil Tyson]

As a nice guy, I'm intrigued by what you just said. Because the nicer you are, to some people?
That irritates them.
And I've seen too many times over the years girls do exactly what you just said
IDK what that is about. BUT WE SHOULD KILL ALL DEEZ HOES SLIM

Spoiler

That was a joke obviously :ez:

They don't like hearing "This is a nice guy, why aren't you with him?"

That tells them they've made a mistake, as if there's something wrong with the decisions they're making. They just want to blame the a$$holes they date, rather than themselves. "He was the a$$hole! Why are you up my ass about it? He's not a nice guy, he's just like the rest! Possibly even worse"

It's hilarious, I can't get enough of hearing that from women.

You'll find often people don't like a mirror being held to their faces.

 

[PS5 Pro]

That was a joke? Explain what's funny about it.

What you don't think killing hoes is funny
On the show Fargo, when Lester hit his wife over the head with a hammer I laughed my ass off

Spoiler

 

[Insensitive]

Dudes think being "nice" should cover for being unattractive, boring, ineligible etc. Dudes who are 4s (not just in looks but the whole package) claim to be "nice"- which is really usually just being overbearing and too scared to make a move- complain about chicks who are like 8s and 9s only giving "a$$holes" the time of day. I have seen it here. nikkas call any dude who gets chicks they can't thugs and a$$holes lol.

This is EXACTLY why I disagree with this stance.
There are guys out there who don't fit any of this, that aren't successful with women.
It's like assuming any woman who has had her run of bad luck with men is some loose
harlot who can't hold down a man because she's inherently flawed.
I don't believe every "nice guy" is some plotting, calculating, miscreant with
sociopath tendencies that slaps on a "Nice guy" personality whenever he wants
a certain female. Third wave feminism has kind of latched onto this goofy exaggerated image
that makes it OKAY to dislike people of a certain disposition.

As for the second half of this post, I agree, there are definitely people who try
to "fake it till they make it" and fail on all levels socially which leads to them
failing to land women. I also agree, that lame guys fail to examine themselves
to see why they aren't successful, I even recently authored this post in TLR :

The "They only date thugs" rhetoric is always laced
with an unhealthy disgust for black women and the speakers
distaste for other Black Men who are successful with Black women.

The entire premise is flawed bullshyt.
Be up front with yourself, if you're failing THAT BAD with women, there's
a high chance it's not the "thugs" that are messing it up for you.

And yea, if you put up some facade of "niceness" to try and get chicks, you're not really nice. If you identify is a "nice guy", 999 times out of 1000 you are fake nice. And in any case, again, just being "nice" doesn't entitle you to women out of your league.

This is exactly what I mean, "Nice guys" aren't expected to be human.
There is this automatic assumption that there being nice must translate
to accepting any and all bad/lame things that happen to them. All of a sudden their
humanity has to go out of the window with some sort of backwards appeasement.
Frustration with their situation is seen as a BAD thing and in some peoples minds
it's a considered entitlement, I disagree with that,I feel it's perfectly FINE to be frustrated.
Because the fact of the matter is, if they're really out here getting at females they're going to
get turned down, flaked on, dissed,ignored etc. because that's
generally how it goes, and THAT will eventually get to ANYONE.

Brehs cry about fat single moms demanding the world in a mate but then turn around and do the same thing, and then wonder why the women they want don't cooperate
Brehs lust over attractive women on the internet but when women do it the pitchforks come out.
Being an entitled crybaby with nothing to offer is a great way to continue to fail

I agree with this, I just disagree that it fits the majority of "Nice guys".
I think TLR has a litany of examples of guys who fit the euphemism that "Nice guys"
is now stands for.

 

[PS5 Pro]

They don't like hearing "This is a nice guy, why aren't you with him?"

That tells them they've made a mistake, as if there's something wrong with the decisions they're making. They just want to blame the a$$holes they date, rather than themselves. "He was the a$$hole! Why are you up my ass about it? He's not a nice guy, he's just like the rest! Possibly even worse"

It's hilarious, I can't get enough of hearing that from women.

You'll find often people don't like a mirror being held to their faces.

Nobody likes that mirror bruh. But WOMEN in particular have a bunch of dudes who will do anything for the p*ssy
So they often are fed bullshyt. And most of them are conditioned to be treated in such a behavior
So they crave it, and expect it. Even the ugly ones.

This is real spit right here coli...

A ugly WHORE will expect you to treat her like she's the queen of zamunda. Because there are so many dudes who think they can hit that, they'll treat her like that until they get what they want
And bytches fall for that shyt 100% of the time

As a nice guy, I been played my fair share of times. But now I know better and protect myself from THEM
Once I stopped being a simp, woman became less of a challenge

 

[2Quik4UHoes]

So are you suggesting that if a man is not a thug, a$$hole and the like then he is automatically a pushover? But then again, what you said accurately speaks to how women view men who are not thugs or a$$holes which is why I say being a no-good dude is the way to go.

No, you missed the part of that post where I said "Being upfront with what you want isn't a trait exclusive to thugs, that's something a real man does.", if you want to be a no good dude to reach those ends then that's fine. What I'm saying is you don't have to be that type of person, not being weak/a pushover doesn't automatically make you a thug, a$$hole, playa, etc. That makes you a man. I know cats that are in successful relationships and they the furthest thing from a thug, college educated, clean cut dudes that are polite, comfortable with themselves and hold themselves in high regard without being arrogant. Yeah, believe it or not this type of guy exists in the world and they tend to be very successful.

Look, if you a thug, a$$hole, or a good guy the bottom line is a woman wants you to be a man when you approach her not some overly emotional grown ass boy tryna be extra nice and polite to get your way. Yeah, some chicks LOVE them thug/a$$hole types but some also want a regular guy that can stand up for what he wants and believes in. All I'm sayin is don't blame thug nikkaz cuz they willing to do the things necessary to get what they want. Need to tell that p*ssy what it wants to hear

This feels like the rick ross gettin ran outta detroit thread. It's like brehs keep bringing up other shyt just to miss the point. I don't understand why improving yourself is an issue, brehs should appreciate that we want women so bad we're willing to upgrade our own lifestyles just to do so. Don't worry bout the thugs or a$$holes, the nikka in the mirror the only one to be worried about and if cuz in the mirror need a chick then he need to up his game so he can get her.

 

[NotaPAWG]

The person you replied to is one of those chicks who rationalize being attracted to a$$holes because for some reason or another they can't trust nicer people.

There's a part of me that is attracted to a$$holes, yes.

But that's because they show certain traits that a lot "nice guys" do not. Traits that I find to be more attractive than just being a "nice guy".

I was "friends with benefits" with this guy for like a year. We both liked each other (I still have feelings for him) but I didn't wanna date anyone and he thought it was a good idea we didn't because he just out of a long relationship. He was kinda an a$$hole.. Well not a$$hole but really honest and sarcastic. He had a witty dry sense of humor that was hard to pick up on and was easy to misread. before anything happened with us..I thought he was just a dikk. I knew him as an acquaintance for years, someone I'd carry short conversation with when I'd see him at shows which I went to at least twice a month. But his straight forward ness and honestly was attractive and I liked his band and agreed with a lot of the views he expressed through his lyrics and I knew we'd have stuff in common to talk about.

Anyways, one night after I went to a show, I got home and he assertively hit on me (in a Facebook message lol) telling me I looked good and asked me on a date to dinner. I said nah and that I hated dates (I do) and he said something like "fine, no dinner date but hang out with me Wed night" and just left me his number and didn't say anything else..a lot of guys would of acted intimidated & said something like "oh okay never mind then".

He was a beta male, assertive yet respectful and didn't put women on a pedestal and was intimidated and scared of them. He wasn't someone I felt like I could walk all over. He was mentally "strong", confident, extremely sociable and I liked that because Im not any of those things. It kinda helped me to. I don't want to date or form anything with someone like me.

I don't want to date a man that's going to easily get their feelings really hurt or put me on a pedestal and worry so much about "losing me" after they got me they end up driving me away. I did that, I dated someone like that ..my longest relationship and it was horrible and he was extremely jealous and controlling.

--

Also

Keep in mind, I don't like strangers asking me out or approaching me. Mostly Every guy I've dated or have showed interest in wis someone I knew as an acquaintance for awhile, was a friend of a friend. I don't just go out with random guys who approach me and hit on me. So stuff like that isn't gonna work with a stranger.

 

[2Quik4UHoes]

There's a part of me that is attracted to a$$holes, yes.

But that's because they show certain traits that a lot "nice guys" do not. Traits that are more attractive than just being a "nice guy".

I was "friends with benefits" with this guy for like a year. We both liked either but I didn't wanna date him and he thought it was a good idea we didn't because he just out of a long relationship. He was kinda an a$$hole.. Well not a$$hole but really honest and sarcastic. He had a witty dry sense of humor that was hard to pick up on. before anything happened with us..I thought he was just a dikk. I knew him as an acquaintance for years, someone I'd carry short conversation with when I'd see him at shows which I went to at least twice a month. But his straight forward ness and honestly was attractive and I liked his band and agreed with a lot of the views he expressed through his lyrics and I knew we'd have stuff in common to talk about.

Anyways, one night after I went to a show, I got home and he assertively hit on me (in a Facebook message lol) telling me I looked good and asked me on a date to dinner. I said nah and that I hated dates (I do) and he said something like "fine, no dinner date but hang out with me Wed night" and just left me his number and didn't say anything else..a lot of guys would of acted intimidated & said something like "oh okay never mind then".

He was a beta male, assertive yet respectful and didn't put women on a pedestal and was intimidated and scared of them. He wasn't someone I felt like I could walk all over. He was "mentally" strong and confident and I liked that because Im not. I don't want to date or form anything with someone like me.

I don't want to date a man that's going to easily get their feelings really hurt or put me on a pedestal and worry so much about "losing me" they end up driving me away. I did that, I dated someone like that ..my longest relationship and it was horrible and he was extremely jealous and controlling.

--

Also

Keep in mind, I don't like strangers asking me out or approaching me. Mostly Every guy I've dated or have hooked up with is someone I knew as an acquaintance for awhile, was a friend of a friend. I don't just go out with random guys who approach me and hit on me. So stuff like that isn't gonna work with a stranger.

I'm glad you just explained that, cuz brehs thinkin only thugs are able to do what's necessary. But if I like chicks that look good, why can't you like guys that are assertive and straightforward? Its the dumbest shyt ever to get mad at her for having her own expectations (or gettin mad at dudes that meet her standards) when you got your own as a man.

 

[Jason B]

No, you missed the part of that post where I said "Being upfront with what you want isn't a trait exclusive to thugs, that's something a real man does.", if you want to be a no good dude to reach those ends then that's fine. What I'm saying is you don't have to be that type of person, not being weak/a pushover doesn't automatically make you a thug, a$$hole, playa, etc. That makes you a man. I know cats that are in successful relationships and they the furthest thing from a thug, college educated, clean cut dudes that are polite, comfortable with themselves and hold themselves in high regard without being arrogant. Yeah, believe it or not this type of guy exists in the world and they tend to be very successful.

Look, if you a thug, a$$hole, or a good guy the bottom line is a woman wants you to be a man when you approach her not some overly emotional grown ass boy tryna be extra nice and polite to get your way. Yeah, some chicks LOVE them thug/a$$hole types but some also want a regular guy that can stand up for what he wants and believes in. All I'm sayin is don't blame thug nikkaz cuz they willing to do the things necessary to get what they want. Need to tell that p*ssy what it wants to hear

This feels like the rick ross gettin ran outta detroit thread. It's like brehs keep bringing up other shyt just to miss the point. I don't understand why improving yourself is an issue, brehs should appreciate that we want women so bad we're willing to upgrade our own lifestyles just to do so. Don't worry bout the thugs or a$$holes, the nikka in the mirror the only one to be worried about and if cuz in the mirror need a chick then he need to up his game so he can get her.

I'm all for self-improvement in order to achieve the best results. But again, it cannot be denied that being an a$$hole or any type of man with unsavory character is attractive to women. So there shouldn't be a surprise that when any man decides to emulates those types of men.

 

[Jason B]

There's a part of me that is attracted to a$$holes, yes.

This sentence validates my point. Again women need to stop saying that decency and respectfulness is valued when it is not since being an a$$hole and the like is what women are attracted to. Any man showing decency is a fool plain and simple.

 

[2Quik4UHoes]

I'm all for self-improvement in order to achieve the best results. But again, it cannot be denied that being an a$$hole or any type of man with unsavory character is attractive to women. So there shouldn't be a surprise that when any man decides to emulates those types of men.

I'll say this, its good to have that side to you. You don't have to be that all the time, but you gotta be able to tell her off or say no, and have no shame at all to tell her what you want and how you feel. Some dudes go all in, some ignore it and keep suffering, some just use it when needed so she know he ain't some yes man, eunuch type nikka too shook to tell her he want the p*ssy. Point is, your strength as a man is important and one of the ways you show that to her is through your behavior towards her. Think of it this way, if she knows you want her but if you that rock solid with yourself that you'll say the shyt you feel with no thought of losing her or defending her honor when you don't hardly know her from a can of paint then obviously when you do go with her you'll be just as quick to defend her as you were quick to shut down her nonsense or to let her know you want her sexually.

If she don't get that feeling a man suppose to give a woman before the sex then what good is it? Like I said, lots of dudes approach it differently. I gave one example of a friend with no filter that gets lots of girls, and another friend that's a good guy that's been in a successful long term relationship. Neither one is doin shyt that much different from the other, they just taking command and goin for what they want.

 

[NotaPAWG]

This sentence validates my point. Again women need to stop saying that decency and respectfulness is valued when it is not since being an a$$hole and the like is what women are attracted to. Any man showing decency is a fool plain and simple.

Because they tend to hold traits a lot of other men do not.

And you can be sort of an a$$hole and decent & respectful at the same time.

What exactly is an "a$$hole" like what are the requirements? Is it a personality type?

And what exactly is a "decent respectful nice guy?" What are the requirements?

 

[Jason B]

Because they tend to hold traits a lot of other men do not.

And you can be sort of an a$$hole and decent & respectful at the same time.

What exactly is an "a$$hole" like what are the requirements? Is it a personality type?

And what exactly is a "decent respectful nice guy?" What are the requirements?

To me being an a$$hole is just doing fukked up/foul shyt just for the sake of doing so and has no conscience about it. A decent, respectful guy does not believe in doing that. In fact he interacts with others on basis of treating them with decency like he would want them to treat him and has a conscience that prohibits him from doing foul shyt.

 

[NotaPAWG]

To me being an a$$hole is just doing fukked up/foul shyt just for the sake of doing so and has no conscience about it. A decent, respectful guy does not believe in doing that. In fact he interacts with basis of treating them like he would want them to treat him.

Okay

Well. I guess I see it different because the labels people attach to certain personality types that aren't "pushovers" or are assertive. I've been called a bytch because of my honest, sarcasm. When I think of myself as a generally compassionate human being..that side tends to come out towards people I think are deserving of it or people who really know me.

 

[Jason B]

I'll say this, its good to have that side to you. You don't have to be that all the time, but you gotta be able to tell her off or say no, and have no shame at all to tell her what you want and how you feel. Some dudes go all in, some ignore it and keep suffering, some just use it when needed so she know he ain't some yes man, eunuch type nikka too shook to tell her he want the p*ssy. Point is, your strength as a man is important and one of the ways you show that to her is through your behavior towards her. Think of it this way, if she knows you want her but if you that rock solid with yourself that you'll say the shyt you feel with no thought of losing her or defending her honor when you don't hardly know her from a can of paint then obviously when you do go with her you'll be just as quick to defend her as you were quick to shut down her nonsense or to let her know you want her sexually.

If she don't get that feeling a man suppose to give a woman before the sex then what good is it? Like I said, lots of dudes approach it differently. I gave one example of a friend with no filter that gets lots of girls, and another friend that's a good guy that's been in a successful long term relationship. Neither one is doin shyt that much different from the other, they just taking command and goin for what they want.

Of course a man is suppose to have to strength. My overall point is that a man cannot be decent character wise because it is viewed as unattractive. The a$$holes, bad boys, thugs, the like are desirable which is not bad. But the bullshyt spewed about decent men being valued has to cease.