Why aren't marriages lasting like our grandparents generation??? Open discussion. Talk to me.

[Theraflu]

Ta lot of women dont be staying in miserable marriages anymore.
Those old days of beating up your wife are mostly over.

I hear a ton of horror stories from old women about their marriages sexual abuse ,physical abuse, cheating, outside families, controlling husbands, husbands leaving them broke and with all the kids. Most of those long marriages were nothing but misery. Of course there were good ones but just like people/relationships today the bad outweighed the good.

There are no tangible incentives in staying married when you don’t want to be. For men and women. No one truly gives a damn about taxes and shyt plus even if children are involved you’ll be doing more of a disservice to them staying married and unhappy. Although I will say the number of people I know that are already divorcees before the age of 30 is alarming.
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Short answer:

Women don't have to stay in bad marriages for survival anymore.

Post like the above ^^^^ are why I can never take black women seriously.

According to femicide statistics black women in America TODAY are being killed than EVER before. A black woman TODAY is murdered every 6 hours. The highest ever with 99% being domestic violence.

So where is this garbage coming from that relationships today are better when y'all are dying at home more than ever and your femicide is far higher. Y'all are still being cheated on (more now) and being beaten. The ONLY difference is today women are being murdered and beaten and have to pay bills on top but their lifestyle has not changed. Theyre being murdered MORE by partners and cheated on MORE but this time they are paying the half of the bills also.

Stop pretending black women have a good life now. Statistics show y'all are being murdered more than ever today. So stop pretending granny had such a shyt life when y'alls lives are still shyt now.

 

[Theraflu]

just cause a marriage last long don't mean it's a healthy one.

Nonsense. The statistics for their happiness are the same it's just that now y'all are unhappy AND have more bills to pay.

 

[Theraflu]

Necessity. A woman this era will be less worried about becoming homeless after a divorce.

Social stigma. I imagine people will still worry about what others will say but to an extent it is more socially acceptable for someone to get divorced.

Financial instability and change. Previous generation could settle into a role that allowed them to pay off their mortgage.

This generation, there is less job security and the path to financial stability may change the people involved. You can have people who were compatible at first drifting apart.

The women of this era are just as depressed, alcoholics, killing themselves and unhappy.

The only thing is now they are in that state with more bills to pay. They aren't better off than their grandmas. They're still getting murdered (black women are murdered by partners FAR more now)., Still have shyt lives but now they doing it in a condo they renting, by themselves with a bottle of red wine.

 

[Theraflu]

My grandmothers put up with LOT

Because the women didn’t have a choice. A lot of them back then relied on their husbands for their livelihood

All the old days marriages I knew were downright terrible. The kids came but no one was happy. There’s expectations and I don’t judge anyones marriages but those I have insight into and listen to elders, I don’t expect any different. Don’t see the point giving a shyt or worrying about it. Meh.

Most of today's relationships are just as horrible and dysfunctional. More femicide and just as much cheating. They are NOT more happy today. Only difference is now they're not happy but they got big bills, ghosted from hinge and drinking wine. Their lives as 'liberated women' are not in any shape or form happier.

Thats why they have high depression, alcoholism and killing themselves more than previous generations. They've gone from being unhappy with husbands to being on happy getting ran through by men and drinking wine in a one bed they can barely afford.

 

[Theraflu]

dont agree entirely but hes dead on. marriage isnt a necessity anymore

So what are y'alls end goals.

Let me guess ? Brag about not marrying women only to get old and.....marry a young woman. Correct?

 

[Makavalli]

More distractions. Life was simplier back then. My grandparents were married 50 years before my grandma passed and i never saw any toxic behavior. I think black men and women were stronger back then thats why they lasted longer.

Going thru the civil rights era battling racism,discrimination and shyt together the home had to be a safe happy comfortable space.

Growing up like that made me a homebody so i didnt have to be outside to find happiness but people now dont have that. The pandemic showed us who had a real happy home because couple either ended up expecting a child or breaking up

 

[Theraflu]

Man, some of y’all are going to make our grandfathers and great grandfathers out to be monsters, all because you can’t answer why couples lasted back in the day.

My grandparents lasted 60+ years. My grandmother died this year, and before she died she was restricted to a wheelchair. My grandfather rolled her around, took care of her, bathed her, etc. We all thought he was mean, but he loved my grandmother until the end. The only person who could bring the nice out of him. My grandmother loved him, and he made sure she never had to want for anything.

I’m the first person on my dads side to do things out of wedlock. I had great examples and decided to do something different and it bit me in the ass. Black women and some men will make it out to be that our grandmothers had no choice, but my folks loved each other and showed that. Y’all can’t speak on my family.

100000%%%

These people speak about how AWFUL their grandparents lived and how unhappy old people are. What utter bullshyt. Say what you want but I'm sorry your grandparents had shyt lives but many of us actually had happy grandparents.

Im sorry I know more young men and middle aged men now who duck out as soon as a wife gets cancer (check the stats) meanwhile these old men are cleaning their demented wives nappies and these couples stay till the end you know where they push each other on wheel chairs and wipe each others asses.

Meanwhile billy joe can divorce easily and move on to some chick at his office and this is 'he wasn't happy enough cos his wife got fat after the baby' people are divorcing for the dumbest reasons. I far respect the old heads. This dudes can't even stand a chick past a first date while that generation saw it through in sickness and till the ugly end.

I want that.

 

[Menna]

Because you can ask a question like this and get 881 likes and 300 re tweets and answers from 500 guys...Your grandparents couldnt do that shyt...You met people through calling their house phone or school or the block...Too many impressions now everyones confused

 

[Theraflu]

More distractions. Life was simplier back then. My grandparents were married 50 years before my grandma passed and i never saw any toxic behavior. I think black men and women were stronger back then thats why they lasted longer.

Going thru the civil rights era battling racism,discrimination and shyt together the home had to be a safe happy comfortable space.

Growing up like that made me a homebody so i didnt have to be outside to find happiness but people now dont have that. The pandemic showed us who had a real happy home because couple either ended up expecting a child or breaking up

FACTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

People were much stronger and it followed them for the rest of their lives, People today lack discipline and strength. Those old heads stayed all the way. How many of them were wiping their wives asses when the wife was 90 and damn near lost their minds? They STAYED. They stuck through things. They could endure suffering and challenge.

They faced hard lives outside and they had to have a home. They had no choice. They couldn't fake a family by watching Kevin Samuels and pretending he was their dad. You actually needed a real life circle to keep you going..

The idea that all those couples hated each other is farcical. They were there after one person got demented, lost limbs, got disabled, everything. Till old age.

Those women drinking wine feminist will never have a man who will ever do such for them. Ever.

 

[Theraflu]

Because you can ask a question like this and get 881 likes and 300 re tweets and answers from 500 guys...Your grandparents couldnt do that shyt...You met people through calling their house phone or school or the block...Too many impressions now everyones confused

You also didn't have men online who you could pretend was your 'daddy' like Kevin samuels giving you 'advice' your ass had to actually work and create your own family and guide yourself. That took a process so once you got it you weren't letting go of it easily.

 

[5n0man]

This over my head, so back in the day you could get gils without them liking you?

Back in the days women had to marry for financial security, that means they might have to turn down the dude she really wants for the dude who can provide a better life because women weren't allowed to have a life of their own.

Nowadays women can date whoever they want while maintaining a career of their own. Unfortunately that leads to alot of women choosing terrible men with nothing to offer but good sex.

 

[Menna]

You also didn't have men online who you could pretend was your 'daddy' like Kevin samuels giving you 'advice' your ass had to actually work and create your own family and guide yourself. That took a process so once you got it you weren't letting go of it easily.

and women were home...and if they communicated with another it had to be a phone call or meet up during the day bc when the father came home at 5-6-7 it was time to eat and the kids were home from school at 3-4-5 sooo the women had 8am-2pm to get house in order with very little outside male contact...

Im not saying this how it should or shouldnt be but the person asked about Grandparents not even parents so grandparents is 1950's-1990's...Its a weird question to be honest...

"Why do people live longer in relation to our ancestors???"

 

[ucanthandlethetruth]

Remember the times before Puff blew up? When dating and basic norms were there? None of that super materialistic shyt we see now. All he did was basically belittled any (non-rich black) male and made simple shyt, pointlessly complicated. Materialism mixed with delusional expectations ruined most relationships nowadays.

materialism and classism has been a thing since the dawn of existence. I get your point but to single out puff lol. easy to blame a black man but your smoke should be with Madison Ave. These marketing companies got the world programmed and human relations has been the biggest casualty as we clearly see

 

[feelosofer]

One word..Technology.


It bought us closer but made us more distant than ever. Everyone thinking the grass is greener on the other side. No one wants to build anything anymore like a family legacy. People want instant happiness, instant wealth, and instant love, but fail to realize the shyt can't be found in an app. No one has patience and too busy trying to impress strangers and put on a mask for the world to see.
Don't know how old yall are but my grandparents were from Louisiana (old south almost 100 yeas ago) and didn't have much but created a strong family (5 girls 2 boys) and were married for 55 years before both passing a year apart. They only had each other and their family to survive. shyt like that just doesn't happen anymore b/c the way society communicates with one another due to mostly technology. Sad when you think about what it has done to the family aspect. Not saying things were perfect back then at all, just saying not as attention seeking as things are today.

And this is what a lot of younger don't realize that our grandparents may not have been 'happy' all the time but the fact of the matter is marriage is a duty. My grandparents came from dirt poor Georgia and produced and olympic athlete, a marine, a multiple property owner. a CFO, and overall productive members of society by sacrificing their wants for the greater good. I think, we have become selfish as a society because those baby boomer didn't pass it down and even though I'm married with grown children I'm in generation X. I can admit we as a generation didn't do our job. The men didn't really commit and we left a lot of bitter women to raise you guys. I'm sorry.

 

[CarltonJunior]

dont agree entirely but hes dead on. marriage isnt a necessity anymore

This nikka must be gay.

Some decent points but this shyt reads sassy as fukk.