Why do chicks try to hold dudes back?

[Bless't]

It's not like it was always like this otherwise I wouldn't have fukk with em. And I'd like to know where all of these "high quality" females are. Actually...not even where...just what do you consider high quality? errybody got flaws or demons from what i've seen.


For me, I was referring to being healthier. Like, my girl will see me working out and toning up but be mad that I didn't invite her. So, I invite her but there's always xyz event and excuse to skip the workout. Or another example. I have a roommate that is sloppy af and we used to complain about it a lot together. Eventually, I got tired of the negativity so I decided to be over it and work on getting a new crib. Now it's "we don't even talk no mo' ". Seems like anything I do to be a better person in general i get hit with the "well, is this gonna change our relationship ". Of course it is! I think a lot of people are just scared of change because I've had this happen with friends and in professional relationships, too.

I completely understand that... but any sign of that sort of insecurity and bitterness towards her partner is a major fukking red flag. Maybe some people are not as keen as others on picking up jaundiced idiosyncrasies and/or choose to ignore them. I'm too old for that shyt. Especially if it's someone I'm trying to seriously date.

High quality definitely does not describe the female in the original post. Period. Whether it's one month in or 5 years down the line. IMO. To each their own though.

 

[Music Fiend]

She wants to be number one and she's gonna get you shyt to make sure your man enough to check her ass with reality instead of the award winning novel she has written in her head.

Bet she get wet when you do you regardless and are willing to take an L and drop her if she can't act right.

 

[The 2020 New Member]

She wants to be number one and she's gonna get you shyt to make sure your man enough to check her ass with reality instead of the award winning novel she has written in her head.

Bet she get wet when you do you regardless and are willing to take an L and drop her if she can't act right.

Powerful post

 

[Gold]

It's not like it was always like this otherwise I wouldn't have fukk with em. And I'd like to know where all of these "high quality" females are. Actually...not even where...just what do you consider high quality? errybody got flaws or demons from what i've seen.


For me, I was referring to being healthier. Like, my girl will see me working out and toning up but be mad that I didn't invite her. So, I invite her but there's always xyz event and excuse to skip the workout. Or another example. I have a roommate that is sloppy af and we used to complain about it a lot together. Eventually, I got tired of the negativity so I decided to be over it and work on getting a new crib. Now it's "we don't even talk no mo' ". Seems like anything I do to be a better person in general i get hit with the "well, is this gonna change our relationship ". Of course it is! I think a lot of people are just scared of change because I've had this happen with friends and in professional relationships, too.

I've noticed the bold one. Its very heard to talk to people about things that they are insecure about. You can tell your chick to come to the gym with you, and in your your mind you are thinking of helping her do better. But to her, you are saying "The way you are is no longer good enough, I want you to change."

I'm just saying, you have to have try to avoid insecure people.

Every human being has some insecurities, but when people take it overboard...


All i can tell you is that you seem to already know what needs to be done. I'm sure you'll find better people soon enough.

 

[Doobie Doo]

For me, I was referring to being healthier. Like, my girl will see me working out and toning up but be mad that I didn't invite her. So, I invite her but there's always xyz event and excuse to skip the workout. Or another example. I have a roommate that is sloppy af and we used to complain about it a lot together. Eventually, I got tired of the negativity so I decided to be over it and work on getting a new crib. Now it's "we don't even talk no mo' ". Seems like anything I do to be a better person in general i get hit with the "well, is this gonna change our relationship ". Of course it is! I think a lot of people are just scared of change because I've had this happen with friends and in professional relationships, too.

That's life in general. people see you rising and they get jealous cuz they think they can't do it and want to hold you back. It would be so much easier if the people you care about grow with you but of course that makes too much sense especially when it comes to women.

The example you described is the perfect example of what I'm talking about. You getting in shape to look better, the easiest thing for her to do is get in shape with you and be a better looking couple physically (I mean there is no real worse case scenario for getting healthy) but she would rather be lazy while you better yourself then bytch and moan and feel insecure cuz she see's other chicks noticing you. So she would rather see you step your game BACK then to step her's up, so the only way to keep her happy is to limit yourself.

 

[Strawberry]

Not me

If he's doing better then WE'RE doing better.

I always like to give positivity and encouragement.

Had to let a guy go once cuz I wanted him to follow his dreams. He was ready to settle with me but I could see in his heart that he needed to follow his dreams and travel the world.

"If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was meant to be yours."

He was one of the most amazing, free-spirited, funny, intelligent, and fun loving people I've ever met.

Could have married and given him babies.

I always wonder what our lives would have been like if I asked him to stay or went to travel with him.

 

[The 2020 New Member]

Not me

If he's doing better then WE'RE doing better.

I always like to give positivity and encouragement.

Had to let a guy go once cuz I wanted him to follow his dreams. He was ready to settle with me but I could see in his heart that he needed to follow his dreams and travel the world.

"If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was meant to be yours."

He was one of the most amazing, free-spirited, funny, intelligent, and fun loving people I've ever met.

Could have married and given him babies.

I always wonder what our lives would have been like if I asked him to stay or went to travel with him.

Beautiful

Was he Jamaican?

 

[philmonroe]

Maybe y'all need to get with better chicks or something. I've never had this from a chick I was messing with. Hell I've never had it period from family or friends either. They are always helping however they can to be honest.

 

[Strawberry]

Beautiful

Was he Jamaican?

Nah, from France.

If I woulda stayed with him I never would have discovered my love for Jamaican men though

 

[The 2020 New Member]

Maybe y'all need to get with better chicks or something. I've never had this from a chick I was messing with. Hell I've never had it period from family or friends either. They are always helping however they can to be honest.

Do you think poor people should work harder, too?

 

[philmonroe]

Do you think poor people should work harder, too?

A lot of times yeah so whats your fukking point

 

[.༼-◕_◕-༽.]

they got degrees, tho

Check out the book Mindset . Some people can have a million degrees and still have a crab azz mentality.

A good woman is going to encourage you to go after your goals.

If she's not supportive, she's got a crab mentality.

 

[DrX]

extremely perplexed that there are women who would prefer their men make less money

control.....the person that make the most usually have the say in the household....thats why i would never marry a chick that made more then me....

 

[DrX]

Like, if you're with them ltr, some get mad when you do better. As if you're shaming them or something. Y'all scared a nikka might end up outta ur league?

because if u better yourself u can upgrade from her and leave....its insecurity

 

[KingMalik]

women hold their man back from making money cuz if they made more money they would upgrade and leave their ass. That's why a lot of women be caping for their men to not work as hard as he could/should.

Also, to keep control of their man. See Angela in Why Did I Get Married. She loved clowning about how broke her husband was but, started acting a fool once he started making serious money. She liked being able to boss him around.