Why do so many men lack self-confidence?

[Saysumthinfunnymike]

What if you have confidence issues and the only social media you use is the coli? I don't use any social media besides posting here

You'll gain more confidence by accomplishing goals you set for yourself. Whether that's to lose weight or gain muscle or education based or a pay raise etc..

 

[↓R↑LYB]

I almost said this in my first post…but I don’t think the problem is initiative, per se

It’s more of not knowing where to go with your initiative.


When I was a boy, I used to want to be a policeman.
It seemed like a noble job, you catch bad guys and help the neighborhood.
But then the Rodney King situation jumped off. And getting older, I had my own situations
with the One-Times. Those killed any dreams I ever had with that.

One of my interests was city maps, neighborhoods and infrastructure
(ironically - that partly stems from being from L.A. and gang science. Go figure. LOL)
I didn’t know what that kind of thing was called - I just knew I was interested in it.
If I knew then what I know now, when I went to school I probably would’ve studied
City Planning - but I was a whole adult before I knew what that was.

My cousin literally invented something. Like, we were sitting in the living room one day
years ago and he explained his idea for a product. We said it was a good idea…after that
he went and got form from the Patent Office for his idea. Sometime after that he got a phone call
from somebody asking about his idea, but he wasn’t home and never called them back.
Today a lot of the newer cars have his idea on them but he never followed through.

I said those to say that we have the “spark”, but we don’t know how to start the fire.

That's the difference nowadays. These nikkas wanna grow up to be social media influencers, youtubers, and streamers.

 

[⠝⠕⠏⠑]

Rich and powerful (but weak men) at the top made a lotta silly ass rules for ALL men to follow. Men who aren’t at the top, kill themselves trying to be like men at the top (who aren’t even all they portray themselves to be.)
So basically, men can barely even breathe without worrying about fukkshyt.
Examples

1.) Everything is GAY- If a man breathes wrong, he gay. Has the slightest emotional response. Gay. Stays in the shower too long. Gay. Has a bad day. Gay. Has a good day. Gay. Wakes up. Gay. Takes a nap. Gay.
Meanwhile, you wanna know whose REALLY gay? All those rich and powerful so-called alphas obsessed with putting grown ass burly men in dresses in the media. Those are the ones who are truly homosexual.
2.) Get bytches or die trying-The small cabal of rich and powerful ALSO told men that they have to do ANYTHING to get p*ssy, and be as HOH as possible. But behind closed doors, rich dudes are the BIGGEST SIMPS. They constantly paying for p*ssy. Look at how Bezos acts with his new chick. Look at Weinstein having to rape, assault and creep his way into p*ssy. A lot of those richer dudes actually like weird shyt like cuckolding, getting humiliated by women…all kinds of weirdo shyt. But the face they put to the public is the macho man.
3.) GET MONEY OR YOU ARE NOTHING- Keep in mind, MOST wealth comes from generational wealth. Doesn’t mean you can’t hustle into a better life. But it does mean that there are real barriers built into our system to fukk you over. So you spend all of your life working only to die b4 u can enjoy the benefits of your labor. And for what? Fancy cars that ain’t worth shyt. Fly bytches who only want you for what you can give them? More and more and more debt?

Men feel bad b/c they are told they aren’t good enough so that they can participate in a system built on lies, greed and vanity that only benefits a very small amount of people. When men start working for themselves, doing what they love, living without the need for excess shyt and looking within, they will thrive.
Society as we know it will crumble…but maybe that’s okay b:c it was fukked in the first place.

How do I know all this shyt? How can I speak on this even tho I’m a woman?
Because they do the SAME shyt to women all the time. It’s psychological warfare meant to mentally destabilize people and keep them constantly consuming and working to benefit those at the top. We could all stop the machine overnight if we stopped using their shyt. But that type of talk can get you killed. Remember MLK didn’t get killed until he started gearing up to fight poverty.

Keeping men emotionally destabilized and broke is a business model.

 

[OperationNumbNutts]

Decline in family structure. A lot of boys are growing up in single family households. When they look around so are their cousins and friends.

 

[Michael's Black Son]

- Most of them a social media fags
- no dads around/their dads are weak with no strong attributes to pass down
- taught to act like bytches and thus they are always jealous of shyt they don’t have/don’t want to earn
- weak ass physical genes
- being broke PTSD (for some)
- realizing earlier in the game that life is a losing crapshoot. Old heads at least fell for the okey dome and found out when it was too late.

 

[Raphaello]

Rich and powerful (but weak men) at the top made a lotta silly ass rules for ALL men to follow. Men who aren’t at the top, kill themselves trying to be like men at the top (who aren’t even all they portray themselves to be.)
So basically, men can barely even breathe without worrying about fukkshyt.
Examples

1.) Everything is GAY- If a man breathes wrong, he gay. Has the slightest emotional response. Gay. Stays in the shower too long. Gay. Has a bad day. Gay. Has a good day. Gay. Wakes up. Gay. Takes a nap. Gay.
Meanwhile, you wanna know whose REALLY gay? All those rich and powerful so-called alphas obsessed with putting grown ass burly men in dresses in the media. Those are the ones who are truly homosexual.
2.) Get bytches or die trying-The small cabal of rich and powerful ALSO told men that they have to do ANYTHING to get p*ssy, and be as HOH as possible. But behind closed doors, rich dudes are the BIGGEST SIMPS. They constantly paying for p*ssy. Look at how Bezos acts with his new chick. Look at Weinstein having to rape, assault and creep his way into p*ssy. A lot of those richer dudes actually like weird shyt like cuckolding, getting humiliated by women…all kinds of weirdo shyt. But the face they put to the public is the macho man.
3.) GET MONEY OR YOU ARE NOTHING- Keep in mind, MOST wealth comes from generational wealth. Doesn’t mean you can’t hustle into a better life. But it does mean that there are real barriers built into our system to fukk you over. So you spend all of your life working only to die b4 u can enjoy the benefits of your labor. And for what? Fancy cars that ain’t worth shyt. Fly bytches who only want you for what you can give them? More and more and more debt?

Men feel bad b/c they are told they aren’t good enough so that they can participate in a system built on lies, greed and vanity that only benefits a very small amount of people. When men start working for themselves, doing what they love, living without the need for excess shyt and looking within, they will thrive.
Society as we know it will crumble…but maybe that’s okay b:c it was fukked in the first place.

How do I know all this shyt? How can I speak on this even tho I’m a woman?
Because they do the SAME shyt to women all the time. It’s psychological warfare meant to mentally destabilize people and keep them constantly consuming and working to benefit those at the top. We could all stop the machine overnight if we stopped using their shyt. But that type of talk can get you killed. Remember MLK didn’t get killed until he started gearing up to fight poverty.

Keeping men emotionally destabilized and broke is a business model.

How do you think the fall in religion factors in your analysis. Because it seems religious values, particularly christian, tend to cut right through all of the things you mentioned (hyper masculinity, womanizing, love of money, etc.)

Imo if seems like the less religious we become the more we seem to double down on the typical evolutionary social structure that mammals participate in (hyper competitiveness, heightened awareness of social hierachies , extreme acquisition of both sex and resources, etc)

 

[Frieza666]

If you’re Black, not gay and have decent looks you’ll be disliked by guys of all races as you’re the “competition” so no solidarity there

Social media has melted peoples brains, mindless scrolling and comparing yourself to some probably fake flexing also doesn’t help

Young women have all the power unless they’re completely gross, there will always be a simp to save them regardless, no one is saving a man, ever.

Idk guys but shyt does seem to suck now, I been lurking this site for a min, I finally joined this year and it does seem more melancholy in here. There’s something in the air something is gonna have to shake

 

[Wild self]

And this is rife on this very place, dudes talk all that community and pro black noise but deep down have a 'I got mine, you get yours' mentality

Community building requires socialist ideas and selfless cooperation. Even in black owned businesses, you got to be fair and transparent to your black customers. Too much "I'm the HNIC" around us.

 

[Hoshi_Toshi]

Some internet shyt mostly.

But normal for young people to go through normal growing pains and develop into adults. Part of that is getting comfortable and confident in who you are as an individual.

This is so true but also amplified by social media.

I think you have to grow and learn organically. Mistakes and all. But if you are a young man and go out on YouTube looking for advice on how to talk to your crush 99% of the shyt you see will lead you down the path of the manosphere, red pill bullshyt. Then before you know it you’re watching videos about shyt that don’t even apply to your life, women hitting the wall at 30, women with kids now wanting a good guy to save for stability and all that other bozo shyt.

You’re getting your idea of a strong man and what women want from people producing rage bait, click bait videos for content, views and advertising dollars.

It’s normal to be young and unsure of yourself. Just gotta get out there and live life.

 

[MikelArteta]

stay strong my coli black brehs we gon make it

 

[13473]

dads abandoning households. lil boys need father figures everyday
the single mom household structure doesnt really benefit anyone, but boys get messed over long term with it. be careful creating families, and fight for the one u make

 

[Malcolmxxx_23]

Because as men we are taught that if we ain’t tall, handsome, rich, popular, muscular, talented, tough and promiscuous then we ain’t shyt.

Since when ?
I don’t remember this narrative 10 years ago

 

[Malcolmxxx_23]

You make it seem like it is a good thing, when the reality is it is not all cracked to be.

Yup many women sleep crying cause she lonely even tho her dms full

Social media is not real life

 

[DaHNIC82]

I also think our hyperconsumerist society thrives on the low self esteem of it’s citizens. Anybody who is truly happy with themselves isn’t going to want to buy a bunch of plastic garbage made in a Chinese sweatshop to feel better about themselves.

But also, men now have a much harder time achieving the material milestones of traditional manhood. Millions of men will never own a home, never experience job security in a living wage job, never have a real relationship with a ride or die woman as a wife. These things were practically given out as participation trophies for Boomers.

And traditional avenues to success have become pyramid schemes. Most people going to college leave with debt and no one gives two shyts about their degree. Being loyal to a big corporation for decades might earn you nothing but a fannypack filled with old candy. It’s a big club and you ain’t in it, that’s what that old cac George Carlin said.

They find out that the American Dream is a crock of shyt for the most part. Its built for CAC's, white folks worshipping Immigrants, feminine Men, house nikkahs, and now Women(if you a black woman, You getting on with a white male only) to prosper.. They find out that everything media has preached through media(with fairytale endings) is a crock of shyt and become jaded and bitter as a result.

 

[DaHNIC82]

It's all those things in combination. Males have to be taught how to become MEN this has been the case for centuries and it comes from fathers, elders, mentors, teachers, sages etc who have come before and pass those teachings down. Expecting boys to magically become men in more than the physical is a ridiculous notion that a lot of people have.

This place loves to take shots at 'internet fathers' but NONE of them have provided a better solution even worse NONE of them have reached back to their communities to provide a better example to the many lost boys.

This place love to shyt on Tariq, J Black, Kevin Samuels, Boyce Watkins, and even Farrakhan but you always see them trying to give young black men game. You take them away and who we replacing them with? Who is out there that Men should check for because the majority of the Coli aint stepping up to the mantle.

The majority of the black men in the light are either Flabby and sick simps tricking they bread away on goldigging wives(Steve Harvey) or they straight up buckdancing for political parties(Roland Martin, Al Sharpton, Hershall Walkers) and you even have alot of the Old nikkahs that caught up in the clout matrix instead of trying to give insight(Charleston White, Wack 100, Big U,) Its fukking pathetic out here