Why do you guys stare but then don't say anything?

[karim]

You're reading a lot between the lines and responding to things that I did not even say. It's difficult for me to engage in a real discussion with you if you're just going to make things up. I'm just shy and I haven't done the dating thing in awhile. What's wrong with that?

nothing is wrong with that. but in my opinion the whole "i like the man to take the lead" thing is an excuse and an outdated approach. rather just admit that you are shy and work on that.

there are a number of reasons why a man doesn't approach you. he might be shy too, he might not be that interested, he might not get your hints. if you are really really good looking you might intimidate him, or he might assume that he will be the hundredth guy that approaches you and that you'll probably blow him off. as i explained above, there are also guys like me for whom looks are not enough to spark an interest.

it is much easier for a woman to approach a man than the other way around, because it doesn't happen as often and because of that, man will seldomly blow you off. this means that battling your shyness is probably a much better approach than twirling your hair and smiling in the hopes that he might take the hint.

 

[Daenerys Targaryen]

nothing is wrong with that. but in my opinion the whole "i like the man to take the lead" thing is an excuse and an outdated approach. rather just admit that you are shy and work on that.

there are a number of reasons why a man doesn't approach you. he might be shy too, he might not be that interested, he might not get your hints. if you are really really good looking you might intimidate him, or he might assume that he will be the hundredth guy that approaches you and that you'll probably blow him off. as i explained above, there are also guys like me for whom looks are not enough to spark an interest.

it is much easier for a woman to approach a man than the other way around, because it doesn't happen as often and because of that, man will seldomly blow you off. this means that battling your shyness is probably a much better approach than twirling your hair and smiling in the hopes that he might take the hint.

But I do like for guys to take the lead. I just like that quality in a guy. Inhale never believed that guys really liked when girls approached them. Everyone has told me that guys liked the chase. But I understand what you mean about looks not being enough to approach someone. That makes sense.

 

[YaThreadFloppedB!]

It's frustrating because there are some guys who I want to say something. I know you all will say that I should say something first but I'm shy, and besides I like it when guys take the lead.

How do I encourage guys to speak?

You know what you must do. Its just... that youre afraid to do it.

 

[Ohene]

what pisses me off about this kinda shyt is that guys on average are a lot nicer than women when it comes to this. A busted ass ho can approach a guy and on average at least be treated with respect. An average woman can approach a dude and 9/10 times will get play for the simple fact that she was aggressive. A good looking woman will always succeed.

However, I've seen dudes approach women and get straight clowned or even ignored though. It be them same girls talking about why dont guys approach me . Git up and git it. In today's climate there is NO reason for a woman to be scared of approaching dudes except for tilting the scales of balance. Instagram and Facebook comments have exposed our love and desire for you women. Our thirst. There is no excuse.

 

[BillBanneker]

It's frustrating because there are some guys who I want to say something. I know you all will say that I should say something first but I'm shy, and besides I like it when guys take the lead.

How do I encourage guys to speak?

stop giving dudes the and maybe they will.

 

[Chelsea Bridge]

Usually I get approached but if it's a guy I find really attractive(which rarely happens) there's no shame in my game. I approach, I flirt and he always gets the hint and we exchange numbers. The eye contact thing is kind of weird to me. I don't like anyone just staring at me.

IMO, if you're really interested, approach him. The worst that can happen is that he won't reciprocate but I've never met a guy that turned down a girl in a mean way. Most men are flattered and usually try to be nice even if they're not interested.

 

[gangreen]

what pisses me off about this kinda shyt is that guys on average are a lot nicer than women when it comes to this. A busted ass ho can approach a guy and on average at least be treated with respect. An average woman can approach a dude and 9/10 times will get play for the simple fact that she was aggressive. A good looking woman will always succeed.

However, I've seen dudes approach women and get straight clowned or even ignored though.

This

Rejection is a tough pill to swallow some can brush it off and keep it moving, others can not, it lingers.

Sometimes he stares because he likes what he sees but he is in a relationship and can't mess with you.

or

The Stare is usually a guy wanting to say something but he has not mustered enough courage to deal with the potential rejection. (Cause some women are not nice when they reject a dude that approaches them due to the fact that they are annoyed by real confident dudes constantly approaching them; so the shy dudes get caught in the crossfire and OP gets the net results)

 

[mbewane]

shyness. which can actually work to a guy's advantage up to a certain age. alot of girls like that shyt when you're in high school/college. but when you're a grown ass man & timid, you just look pathetic

Stroy of my life breh

To answer to OP, don't undersestimate the shyness of guys as well as the sheer "pressure": mostly, you girls move in groups, so taht means that dude will have to talk not to one, but to anything from one to five girls. Some are comfortable doing so, others (like myself) are not.

As a shy guy with no game and zero self-confidence (albeit reportedly "handsome", "interesting" and "funny") I know I've lost many occasions because of not reading "the signs". I think the days of a girl being seen as a slut because she initiated contact are gone, in France/Belgium it's happens regularly...the worst for a guy is first contact, if you initiate that he'll prob take it from there

 

[Turbulent]

no offense to the OP but to me it honestly translates as "why don't things just magically fall onto my lap? "

 

[dennis roadman]

Stroy of my life breh

To answer to OP, don't undersestimate the shyness of guys as well as the sheer "pressure": mostly, you girls move in groups, so taht means that dude will have to talk not to one, but to anything from one to five girls. Some are comfortable doing so, others (like myself) are not.

As a shy guy with no game and zero self-confidence (albeit reportedly "handsome", "interesting" and "funny") I know I've lost many occasions because of not reading "the signs". I think the days of a girl being seen as a slut because she initiated contact are gone, in France/Belgium it's happens regularly...the worst for a guy is first contact, if you initiate that he'll prob take it from there

breh aren't you bilingual? you live in france/belgium and evidently have a strong grasp of english so imma go with yes, you are. and people say you're a good lookin dude? dont be so caught up in your own perception of yourself. you got two qualities right there that make women

focus on the potential glory, not the difficulty in getting there. then when you reach your desired result, you'll realize how fun it was actually getting there

up this thread on monday morning telling us how many french slores you bagged

 

[mbewane]

breh aren't you bilingual? you live in france/belgium and evidently have a strong grasp of english so imma go with yes, you are. and people say you're a good lookin dude? dont be so caught up in your own perception of yourself. you got two qualities right there that make women

focus on the potential glory, not the difficulty in getting there. then when you reach your desired result, you'll realize how fun it was actually getting there

up this thread on monday morning telling us how many french slores you bagged

my breh for the advice, yeah I actually got four languages (add in italian and dutch, not at a "mother-tongue" level tho) but tbh these self-confidence issues go EXTREMELY deep, and objectively I gotta say I'm kind of a "bum" (no car, precarious work, hardly any social life etc.)...working on it but it's hard

 

[dennis roadman]

my breh for the advice, yeah I actually got four languages (add in italian and dutch, not at a "mother-tongue" level tho) but tbh these self-confidence issues go EXTREMELY deep, and objectively I gotta say I'm kind of a "bum" (no car, precarious work, hardly any social life etc.)...working on it but it's hard

my boy was baggin multiple girls living in his parents' house with an old ass car/no car at all at age 28. this is possible, it's all in how you approach them. if a girl likes you, she'll look past that stuff

 

[Brofato]

I haven't thought about this. The last time a guy winked at me I felt very weird about it. But I'll try this.

Please do not try that. I would start laughing and then you'd probably feel awkward.

On the other hand I might start laughing and then that would kick something off so it could work for you. I've just always seen winking as a comedic thing. Maybe it's just me.

 

[King Poetic]

because guys are tired of hearing the same old shyt.. i got a man or a nasty azz response.

so if u interested talk to dude

 

[Daenerys Targaryen]

Please do not try that. I would start laughing and then you'd probably feel awkward.

On the other hand I might start laughing and then that would kick something off so it could work for you. I've just always seen winking as a comedic thing. Maybe it's just me.

Same here! That's why I felt weird when the dude winked at me... I was like people do that in real life? I've was actually trying to perfect my wink in the mirror for the last couple of minutes. I feel silly. Lol