Work/Life Balance

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I’ve heard both men and women complain about people being too busy on the grind to be emotionally available in a relationship.
For women, I’ve heard them complain about dudes who work too much to be emotionally and romantically present in a relationship.

For men I’ve heard them say they don’t want a chick too into her career that she can’t nurture them.

Both are expressing similar desires for better work/life balance.

What say you Coli?
If you meet someone on the grind, do you work with em even if they don’t have a lotta time for you?

Or do you pass or cut em off b/c u need more?

Or do you keep em in rotation until timing is right?

Also it this legit or is it a cop out?

 

[Weaver31]

Good topic booksnrain...

I feel u because I work 2 jobs (contract specialist full time and server/bartender for a very high end catering company part time on some Fridays and Saturdays) and I also help take care of older parents with health issues. This plus my worry about getting COVID (I got high blood pressure and thyroid issue myself so I'm also not just worried about my parents but myself as well) so this hinders me from dating the old fashioned way.

My full time job is very stressful and workload is huge (contract specialist in ship repair with huge milestones along with taking classes for certification) that I be mentally tired after work. I feel those who say their jobs tire them out because mine does.

It does present challenges for those who want a lot of attention. Its really hard dealing with needy women who don't understand men who are hard on their grind. They want the benefits but don't understand the time, work, work ethic, and the effects of all the grind.

It would be nice if I could find a female who works a professional job like me and who about her business so we could be a power couple but most of those women are taken or wanna be independent. I would like the power couple dynamic but that's hard to find.

 

[Cyrus' Wife]

For a good partner, you'll make the time in a busy schedule to be with them. If not then it's your loss. For example, one of my cousins is a very busy ER doctor who still made time for regular outings and quality time with his now-wife when they were dating and even now after marriage.

Good people who treat you well are rare and hard to find so make sure to treat them accordingly and find quality time for them when you come across them or you will regret it later.

 

[xXMASHERXx]

Cop out. If someone is truly interested in you, they will make time for you. I say this as someone who works a demanding job and is on call 24/7.

 

[King Poetic]

I’m in a relationship going on 3 years now and we lived together for 2 years

we both work , but I’m constantly in and out the house between work and taking care of my elderly parents, in which my father is battling cancer and I’m taking him to treatments

she understands and we still have time for each other

it’s tiresome, cause it like you working 70 hours a week dealing with a girlfriend, parents and work.. but you have to make sacrifices

 

[BrehWyatt]

It's a fukkin' cop out.

Either you make time for people you care about, or you find somebody on your wavelength (i.e. they don't require a ton of quality time/affection).

Granted, I guess I got lucky because I met my current GF about a month, month and a half before the world shut down in 2020. If not for the pandemic, we wouldn't be as far along into our emotional investment in one another as we are now. But I'm sure we would have figured out a way to make it work.

 

[MoveForward]

I work two jobs and I won’t be stopping anytime soon. I haven’t had a woman complain yet. I’m off on the weekends and they can always reach me, so that makes all of the difference. From my experience, as long as they see you’re making time for them, they’re cool.

I prefer women that are into their careers because I need my space. Women that have a lot of free time get annoying after a while because you see and hear too much of them.

 

[Wildhundreds]

People who want to be together ALWAYS make it happen.. Even if that means 2am rendezvous..

 

[Spence]

I make enough to where my woman takes care of my 2 children while finishing her masters then after that she can figure out what she wants to do.

 

[Roid Jones]

If you meet a person that devotes everything to their career leaving little space for anything else and that does not align with your values, then leave them alone and be on your way

 

[International Playa]

If you both grinding & have goals, you will understand each other & will still make time for each other for quality time.

It's only a problem when one of the partners is lazy & has too much time on their hands

 

[Sukairain]

What you need is someone who is on that same grind. My supervisor's relationship is an exemplar for me. She is a historian of Alexander and the Diadochi; her partner was the world's best historian of Alexander while he lived. They collaborated together in research and after he died she curated a selection of essays to be published in his honour. I can tell that outside of professional work they had a wonderful relationship as well by the way she talks about him to me.

I wish I had something like that. You're completely right in saying that people with low professional drive and commitment do not match up well with people who have high drive and commitment. I would go further still and say that it helps a great deal if your jobs are basically the same, that way you can work together and strategise together on how to make your come ups

As @Weaver31 said it, a power couple is the way to go if you're an ambitious person

 

[SNG]

People who say this just ain't ready mentally to be in a relationship. Even when you ready being on the grind doesn't stop some time and you will have to learn to juggle a relationship with kids added to the equation. You find someone who keeps themselve busy and ambitious and they will understand it.

 

[CarmelBarbie]

My boyfriend works a lot but we still make time for each other. It doesn’t bother me because I’d rather him be grinding than to have too much free time/idle time anyway.

i admit though I quit my last job back in March/April because I had no work/life balance and that amongst some other bad things that happened earlier in the year, hurt my last relationship and ended up being the reason I had to break it off. I learned that when I’m too stressed and busy I don’t do as well in relationships—I end up wanting more me time.

When I took my new job that is substantially less work than my last—I did so because I wanted a life lol, it’s just not in my personality to be a workaholic but in men i respect it. I’m more of a person who needs space anyway, so the fact that my bf works a lot is a plus for me—I need that space.

 

[Mirin4rmfar]

I am griding heavy!! I need to be working two three remote jobs.