agnosticlady
AL loves da kids : )
After going through this thread... no one really is a loser. Most forgot to mention that. I think most of us are just going through life's ups and downs. . OP... you seem like your a sweet man with a troubled mind It's
never too late to get help. Quite as it's kept I would never ask anyone on this site or any other one to help me with my mental issues. I was saddened by a thread that was made one of coli brethren asking for advice
because he was feeling down and felt like hurting himself. Most people were telling to go ahead and kill his self and how to slit his wrist so he would die faster. What kind of sick fukk does that? If you felt like the
person was trolling why even bother to reply? I don't take things like that lightly. Mental health in our community is a real issue because most don't feel like that don't need the help they can just go to church or pray the
pain, hurt, and despair way. More of us have mental health issues and are socially awkward than we would care to admit....
Honestly, I believe that most of the people who were telling that man to go hurt himself are probably depressed also and too afraid to admit it...The Coli has it's perks, but this is not the place I would come to for help with mental issues. I am doing well in life right now, but anything can happen. That is why I said that I do not consider myself a loser. my life could be much worse, but it is not. I have food, shelter, I am employed, healthy, and I woke up today. I always try to look at the positive sides. Too many people are willing to shyt on themselves instead of thinking positively about themselves.
Mental health is a real issue....I only discuss any mental health issues I am going through with people who i know will listen and take me seriously.
I graduated with degrees in graphic design but it takes a lot of hustle to do that and I get too lazy at times. I was a full-blown alcoholic in active addiction for nearly a decade until recently. I picked up regular binge drinking in college hanging around cacs. Whiteboy wasted is not an inaccurate stereotype. Thank God I never hung out with them seriously outside the campus bars because they are all probably strung out on dope now like all the cacs out here in Maryland.
But for years after college, I was hella depressed because I was trapped living with moms, couldn't find a decent job and I couldn't shake the binge drinking from my college days even though I was getting in trouble catching dui's, catching fades with drunk fools around the way and getting beat up because I was too drunk to fight.
When I was in full-blown alcoholic mode staying perved all the time, I wasn't really looking for a job or chasing p*ssy because I felt so bad about being a broke unemployable alcoholic. I was like Lil B seeing the baddest bytch and not even checking her out.
I went to rehab recently and been sober for two months going on three months.
Living in a halfway house now which is better than staying with moms.
I feel better than ever now that I'm not gone off the ac right everyday being sick, having withdrawls and putting myself in danger of getting locked up or even dying every single day. Not sure if I want to go back to school and get some certs or try to follow my old career path now that I'm sober though. 

Looks are secondary to women. If Chris Brown was unemployed living with his mom, had no money, confidence, game or style, he would be getting curved left and right too.
I'm 6', handsome and dress pretty nice for being as broke as I am. It ain't hard when even the richest celebrities dress like they are from the block anyway. The baddest bytches that I actually tried to rap to when I was fukked up drunk all the time tell me they want a baller. They are attracted to the way I look and dress but aren't attracted to my lack of funds and stability. Other decent looking bytches were basically throwing themselves at me when I was deep in the bottle drunk everyday but I was so ashamed of my life that I let them pass me by like the Pharcyde.
I'm focused now on getting my life back together and having a career.
Confidence is difference from cockiness. My cocky homies ride the bus, drink bottom shelf liquor, have no education, no long-term goals or aspirations and are happy fukking underage bytches, morbidly obese precious-type women, senior citizen p*ssy, ugly hoes and having five baby mamas while having child support take 80% of their McDonald's cashier check at 30+ years old.
Most nikkas I know are losers in some shape or form. My old school college classmates that got good jobs work for the government hate their boring jobs and don't appreciate shyt. My other homies who tried to live the thug life are in and out of prison for slanging and end up going back to jail as soon as they get home.