when something is done seemingly purely in retaliation for something is that not aggression?
You Are Pregnant And The Bro Asks For DNA Tests
- Thread starter Medicate
- Start date
SouthernBelle
#Feyonce
No. Aggression is violent or hostile behavior towards another, typically without provocation. Look it up.
Also, it's not retaliation. Who in their right mind does not protect themselves in a relationship that is lacking trust?
some would consider your responses hostile, and considering it seems that you would be asking for an std test in response to the DNA test request that could be considered retaliation
SouthernBelle
#Feyonce
So...in a trust less relationship, I shouldn't look out for my own health?
If my husband doesn't trust me, there is a good chance that I shouldn't trust him either; therefore, I have to protect my own health from that point forward. Consider that what you want, but anyone would be stupid to not protect themselves if there is a reason to distrust their partner.
no one suggested that you shouldn't look out for your health. what I am questioning is the motivation of your timing. with all of the mistrust in your relationship perhaps your husband should have asked you for an std test earlier
SouthernBelle
#Feyonce
Actually the mistrust would have started with his suggestion for a paternity test (which I would grant). That's when he would give me a reason not to trust him so the time makes perfect sense.
I also would have NO issue passing an STD test (I've never had one in all my years of life) and I wouldn't care at that point. I'm not a liar or cheater so I wouldn't be afraid, but I would be offended and at that point no longer trust him.
you suggesting that the mistrust started with his DNA test request implies that you KNOW that you haven't done anything that would trigger his insecurities. That is something you honestly can't know if you don't even consider honestly consider the possibility.
SouthernBelle
#Feyonce
Or I could have done nothing...that is also possibility. At that point, I would know he doesn't trust me and therefore, I would no longer trust him. To win his trust, I do the test. To win my trust, he'd need to submit to STD testing and condom use. Win for everyone.
not a win if the root causes for the mistrust aren't dealt with.
Let's flip the script: would you make him take an HIV test before you let him raw dog? What if he swore on the Bible he was clean?
SouthernBelle
#Feyonce
I do that anyway before I have sex with someone.
SouthernBelle
#Feyonce
That's why I said we'd have to go marriage counseling in one of my other posts.
interesting
SouthernBelle
#Feyonce
Yes...who wants to live in a household where neither person trusts the other? I don't.
But why? Isn't trust strong enough to rely on?