You ever been sonned by a little kid?

[rogue_riezo]

Yeah, all the time.

A few years ago I bought a an old ass MK IV Golf GTi to flip it and I was at my cousins house so she asks me to go buy some rolls for an impromptu bbq and her kid tags along. HE gets in the car like "this a GTI right?" My face immediately goes and before I could respond he says "I never been in one this old before" .

His kid sister is the sonning GAWD though and she knows exactly what she's doing, cute as fukk like the type you see on McDonalds ad's so you don't expect the ether to be around every damn corner. A few quotes from her over the last few months:

To her father: "Daddy, I'm going to stand with KG", her father then asks why and she responds "His shoes don't have a buckle on them".
To my sister: "Your room always looks like you just woke up after an earthquake"
To me: "Riezo you have so many games! Why you have so many games but you don't even have a child "

 

[Mr. Negative]

"Guess what: Stephanie got a REAL boyfriend now!!!! "

Stephanie:


me:

 

[The 2020 New Member]

My 11 year old sister told me when i was 21 that my voice was too light. I cursed her ass out at the dinner table. no fukks given.

 

[CodeBlaMeVi]

My 8 year old son. Calls me broke all the time.

 

[alpo]

more stories!

 

[Mowgli]

Remember like it was yesterday.

I had just got this leather jacket from my now ex then girlfriend at the time and im wearing it while we're out and she has one of her nephews in the back seat

He says,

Is that leather?

Im like yup 100 percent

This kid says

Only fakkits wear leather.................

I was like and said, dont say bad words

"I'll say whatever i want."

(my girl telling him to watch his language)

My girlriend parks and goes into a cvs and we wait in the car. I let her get ten feet away from the car, turned around and i said

Im gonna fukk you up when no ones around the next time you say some stupid shyt like that to me again you crooked tooth bytch. Now say something without your auntie here right now and watch me punch a hole in your forehead. Yea you aint got shyt to say now huh. I oughta flick you in your fukkin hand till you cry. Say somethin.



He didnt say shyt.



( i later put my weight on him till he cried and threw him in the pool at a family function)

 

[Mac]

Remember like it was yesterday.

I had just got this leather jacket from my now ex then girlfriend at the time and im wearing it while we're out and she has one of her nephews in the back seat

He says,

Is that leather?

Im like yup 100 percent

This kid says

Only fakkits wear leather.................

I was like and said, dont say bad words

"I'll say whatever i want."

(my girl telling him to watch his language)

My girlriend parks and goes into a cvs and we wait in the car. I let her get ten feet away from the car, turned around and i said

Im gonna fukk you up when no ones around the next time you say some stupid shyt like that to me again you crooked tooth bytch. Now say something without your auntie here right now and watch me punch a hole in your forehead. Yea you aint got shyt to say now huh. I oughta flick you in your fukkin hand till you cry. Say somethin.



He didnt say shyt.



( i later put my weight on him till he cried and threw him in the pool at a family function)

This shyt put me in TEARS!

 

[True Blue Moon]

BOUGHT MY COUSIN A PS2 FOR HIS BIRTHDAY. "YOU CAN AFFORD THIS BUT YOU LIVE WITH YO MOMMA? " HIS MOMMA LAUGHED. I TOOK THAT shyt HOME WITH ME. THEY HAD THE TIGHT FACE WHEN I PUT THE BOX BACK IN THE BAG.

I AIN'T GONNA LIE. THAT shyt BURNED ALL THE WAY HOME.

five star thread

 

[Mowgli]

This shyt put me in TEARS!

Anytime a kid is talkin a little TOOOO greasy you can bet there are a bunch of women in his environment. He didnt know how to talk to a man. He behaved after that but i fukked him up anyway at that family gathering just to teach him life isnt fair. Fool wanted to try and wrestle me. I took that opportunity to put one of these on his ass.

Then after he realized it wasnt a game anymore, he wept. I made sure he was ok and got him to smile n laugh because he was damn near hyper venilating trying to hold back an outburst of emotion. Then i picked him up and threw him in the pool and laughed some more

Ladies talkin bout, you playin kinda rough with him.

All the uncles were like.

 

[Dank Hill]

mine's a family reunion story also, had just graduated but didnt have a job yet...went to a family get together and this middle school aged cousin asks me "you dont work? so what do you all day?....you just stay at home and wait around for family get togethers"

shyt was wild disrespectful

made me re-examine my whole life. goals. achievements. plans. everything.

I legit laughed at this. Thanks

 

[karim]

My 8 year old son. Calls me broke all the time.

so let me guess, you and his mama are not living together? an eight year old has no concept of being broke, she's talking bad about you in his presence.

 

[My neck and my back]

my then 10 year old niece asked me for $20 for her birthday...so i asked her what she was gon buy with it and she told me she wanted some glue on nails i ain't finna encourage her hoeness at this age so i told her that she too young and don't need no nails...i was bummy and living at home so i didn't have the $20 anyway so i thought i could hide behind this legitimate excuse of not giving her the moneyshe sniffed me out like a bloodhound and looked at me with disgust and told me in the most vulgar tone "THAT AINT THE REASON WHY...IT'S CUZ YOU BROKE AND AIN'T GOT NO MONEY"













































a nikka was already stressin cuz i was strugglin and my granny had passed away (big mama ) and this 3 foot snaggletoofed pigtailed demon set aflame to my soul with more ether

 

[semtex]

Remember like it was yesterday.

I had just got this leather jacket from my now ex then girlfriend at the time and im wearing it while we're out and she has one of her nephews in the back seat

He says,

Is that leather?

Im like yup 100 percent

This kid says

Only fakkits wear leather.................

I was like and said, dont say bad words

"I'll say whatever i want."

(my girl telling him to watch his language)

My girlriend parks and goes into a cvs and we wait in the car. I let her get ten feet away from the car, turned around and i said

Im gonna fukk you up when no ones around the next time you say some stupid shyt like that to me again you crooked tooth bytch. Now say something without your auntie here right now and watch me punch a hole in your forehead. Yea you aint got shyt to say now huh. I oughta flick you in your fukkin hand till you cry. Say somethin.



He didnt say shyt.



( i later put my weight on him till he cried and threw him in the pool at a family function)

 

[Kidd Dibiase]

I was watching chopped last week, actually marathon'd it. My nephew came in and was Why are you watching this? you can't even cook.

I was SHUT UP, and go watch whatever you watch

i had no rebuttal it was out of no where

 

[CodeBlaMeVi]

so let me guess, you and his mama are not living together? an eight year old has no concept of being broke, she's talking bad about you in his presence.

So let me correct you. Yes we live together and he has no concept of being broke. His mother spoiled him but I do not let him count my pockets so he insinuates me as being broke.