No woman wants a man with nothing going for him. Few women are truly hypergamous, especially black women. We wouldn’t be in the boat of having such high rates of premarital births and low rates of marriage. I think a lot of men, just like women, aren’t looking at red flags and have no problem spending on a woman they find attractive or fun until the money runs out. I know several beautiful women who have men falling at their feet and are ghosted or humiliated. If you’re this upset look inside and take note of your patterns and see where things are going wrong. I’ve often found men who get taken advantage of by women are also being fukked over by others.
And I do not consider myself to be hypergamous, but I am realistic. I was told as a young adult that if a man cannot afford to buy you a plate of food he cannot afford a wife. He definitely cannot afford to have children and provide a roof over your head. Men who are bums know they are bums and will latch on to any women who’ll take them. My lover in between relationships was a failing comedian in Austin. Has a top notch degree, parents with a little money to help him, and his ex wife is a well paid nurse. This man is a fraught up bum. He found a good job managing a club here in North Texas that was flexible enough for him to keep doing festivals and opening for big gigs in Austin and he’s alway broke. The sex was insane and that’s why we always fell back on each other for over ten years but I had to let him go. One day I had a come to Jesus when we went to get gas and he asked if he could buy something to eat when I went in to pay for gas and I said yes. It hit me then, at the age of 33, I was feeding a man who couldn’t feed himself and it was his fault. Not some man who was a victim of the system and couldn’t find a job, not a disabled person who had to rely on others, an able bodied black man who wanted to waste money and his potential. He did a lot of jokes about gold diggers and slamming women for being greedy but he had nothing to offer anyone. I was situated with myself for sleeping with him for years. In public the men I dated were respectable, good jobs, they didn’t always have a lot of money but because I’m childless I usually attract men with more than me. This guy I was seeing after hours had nothing. I realized that if I got pregnant I would be on my own.
If you’re a man who cannot afford a cup of coffee for your date or a plate of food then you shouldn’t be dating or having sex. As a black woman I feel like if we cannot take care of a child on our own we should t be having sex or dating because it’s a strong possibility it could happen. I also feel that if you cannot afford that house, that car, that lifestyle without that man then you shouldn’t be married.
I’m a little tipsy thanks to brunch, that my man paid for, so I’m extra wordy and sitting around with time to kill. I look forward to the responses to this comment. I believe that if you’re complaining about women being about money you’re choosing the wrong women and need to look within.