You Gonna Tell me LeBron is Any Better than your local Hood Legend?

[HacksawJimThuggin]

dogg, this thread has me not even minding the fact that I'm missing out on happy hour because I'm stuck working late in the office

the dudes that were never on SOHH probably have no idea what's going on here and that makes it way better

 

[Goatpoacher]

dogg, this thread has me not even minding the fact that I'm missing out on happy hour because I'm stuck working late in the office

the dudes that were never on SOHH probably have no idea what's going on here and that makes it way better

You mean, they don't know about Big Loop?

 

[No1]

Tim Mathews > Big Loop


Keep your streetball legends, Mathews made Duncan look like an ordinary teammate.

Eh yo don't ever disrespect the homie Big Loop like that again.

What you know about dropping 25 and 10 in the first quarter in the rubix cube themed LA Gears with no soles?

What you know dropping the quarter water classic where he played 6 OTs with nothing to drink but half a quarter water and stale twizzlers because he had donated his salary that week to the Harlem children's choir?

What you know about dropping 59 on the Uptown Shottas with two sprained ankles, two fractured ribs and red eye (a thorough dude like Loop would never be caught with a color as feminine as pink in his eye)?

Man....let me stop....Loop birthed all these dudes that you're looking up to. But they forget you when you gone.

Like B Nyce doesn't stand for "Big Loop Never Yells Cusses or Explains." That's what being nice is all about. It needs no words, but I'll let you tell it.

 

[I.V.]

Aman Jeffries>>>> everyone in this thread

:whoacarlton: Now listen, Aman could play.. and I won't argue that. But we're talking about two different types of ball. Aman (Imam's less militant brother) used to go HARD in the paint. He played an entire weekend tournament with brass knuckles on his non-shooting hand. My cousin had to guard him in the semis and the side of his dome stills looks like it's always smiling from the dimples. He never called a foul, and wouldn't even let refs call fouls FOR him. Back in '88, he got fouled with 3 seconds left, down 1, and refused to go to the freethrow line.

After like 35 minutes of arguing over who was going to get the ball, and whether his civil disobedience was technically a technical (stay strong, brother)... they awarded the other team the ball. Aman stole the inbound pass, buried a three, and then sat down and ate a bowl of count chocula right in the middle of the court. Like, where he even get the milk from? Who knows. Don't matter.

Aman could cook, man... but was he on B-nyce's level? I'm not sure... they were supposed to play against each other in the Maccabi games, but something about Aman's visa getting flagged kept him from make it to the game in Gaza. Woulda been real though. I heard Coach K was there scouting.

I mean, B-nyce (Blaine) was the chosen, shout out to Chaim Potok. Big Loop had taken him under his wing, what with the SEC closing in on his pops. Who was also his coach. Florida wanted to hire him, but the SEC got him first. Securities and Exchange ain't no joke man... dude was embezzling funds from children's hospitals, had the kids wearing potato sacks while he wore only the finest silk ascots. Was selling the drugs right out from under the kids, had their IV's filled with Kool Aid invisible mix. shyt was tangy, but not very effective at fighting cancer. Thank god for Loop, man. Adopted 14 of those kids, plus mentored B-nyce? Dude was a legend, but I prolly already said too much.

 

[jadillac]

I knew a dude from Texas, white dude, greatest player I ever saw.. Dropped 50+ per HALF while playing on uneven dirt and a swaying basket tied to an big oak tree branch. Aim was sick.

Wouldn't you know it, the night I saw him I forgot my camera otherwise I woulda got it on tape and showed y'all.

He never made it b/c he just couldnt adjust to playing on a wooden court with a stationary basket. Damn shame, b/c Lonnie Bird (Larry's brother) came down here once and said he'd never seen a player that great.

 

[I.V.]

I knew a dude from Texas, white dude, greatest player I ever saw.. Dropped 50+ per HALF while playing on uneven dirt and a swaying basket tied to an big oak tree branch. Aim was sick.
Wouldn't you know it, the night I saw him I forgot my camera otherwise I woulda got it on tape and showed y'all.

He never made it b/c he just couldnt adjust to playing on a wooden court with a stationary basket. Damn shame, b/c Lonnie Bird (Larry's brother) came down here once and said he'd never seen a player that great.

Sway-J He wasn't to be trifled with. Pretty sure he's Kevin Durant's other uncle's cousin. They said he could shoot a women's sized basketball through a Fischer Price hoop from 35 feet away. He had this move off his crossover, where he'd pretend to step back (and you had to jump, because his jumper was automatic) and then he'd drop low, log roll under your feet, hop up and finish with a finger roll. The Texas 2-Step. Tim Hardaway tried for years, but couldn't master it... so he came up with something easier in college. Sway-J grew up poor, on a texas apple farm. The only one in Texas... it was very unsuccessful, what with the arid weather and lack of locals that ate fruit or vegetables. So he learned to play by shooting all those uneaten apples into carnage cans. If basketball had been played with apples, dude definitely would have been Larry Bird status.

But like you said... put dude on hard court or even asphalt, and introduce a static rim... and he was suddenly unable to even hit the backboard. He'd be tripping over his own feet, and then one day just gave up... headed back to his old dirt home court, to literally kick rocks. Backyard balling though, nobody was realer. Actually his cousin Crabapple was maybe even nicer... but that's probably a story for another day.

Again though, none of these dudes were seeing B-nyce (Blaine, his mom hated that nickname)

 

[the kid]

At the crib crying laughing right now.

 

[jadillac]

Sway-J He wasn't to be trifled with. Pretty sure he's Kevin Durant's other uncle's cousin. They said he could shoot a women's sized basketball through a Fischer Price hoop from 35 feet away. He had this move off his crossover, where he'd pretend to step back (and you had to jump, because his jumper was automatic) and then he'd drop low, log roll under your feet, hop up and finish with a finger roll. The Texas 2-Step. Tim Hardaway tried for years, but couldn't master it... so he came up with something easier in college. Sway-J grew up poor, on a texas apple farm. The only one in Texas... it was very unsuccessful, what with the arid weather and lack of locals that ate fruit or vegetables. So he learned to play by shooting all those uneaten apples into carnage cans. If basketball had been played with apples, dude definitely would have been Larry Bird status.

But like you said... put dude on hard court or even asphalt, and introduce a static rim... and he was suddenly unable to even hit the backboard. He'd be tripping over his own feet, and then one day just gave up... headed back to his old dirt home court, to literally kick rocks. Backyard balling though, nobody was realer. Actually his cousin Crabapple was maybe even nicer... but that's probably a story for another day.

Again though, none of these dudes were seeing B-nyce (Blaine, his mom hated that nickname)

I threw the lob and you dunked it.

 

[I.V.]

I don't think you guys realize how deep it goes.... look how it was pronounced, tho.

 

[Cabbage Patch]

LeBron is a DAMN CHUMP for cramping up!!!!

No. Cramps will put you down and out. It's nothing to fukk with. You have to have experienced them to know how fukked they can make you. Cramps will put you out of commission. If LeBron actually had cramps instead of pulling a classic Vlade flop, then I have nothing but sympathy for him.

 

[I.V.]

No. Cramps will put you down and out. It's nothing to fukk with. You have to have experienced them to know how fukked they can make you. Cramps will put you out of commission. If LeBron actually had cramps instead of pulling a classic Vlade flop, then I have nothing but sympathy for him.

Maybe, they'd put me down. I'm outta shape, and only getting like 18-24 a game in my Pro-Ams lately...But no joke, I saw B-Nyce score 73 in the second half of the City Street Championship with both legs and both arms cramping up. He would hobble down the court, and then have a teammate toss him the ball... and then he would HEADBUTT that shyt in from three. Most incredible display of marksmanship I've ever seen. Dudes around the way were calling him the Dolphenom all summer. Had the hood going crazy for sardines and tuna treats. He had a metal plate in his forehead, and some people said that gave him an advantage... but who am I to say, yanno?

Anyway, he fukk around and put up 73/0/0/0 and some movie producers made a flick about it... but they changed him to a dog in the movie... shyt was wild disrepectful, but B-Nyce took it in stride, donated his royalties to the animal shelter, and bought a couple laundromats. Built a franchise "Bleach Nice" I'm sure y'all have heard of it.

 

[NaijaProdigy Redux]

This is why the Coli is the GOAT

 

[Ohene]

edit

 

[mr. smoke weed]

You mean, they don't know about Big Loop?

Whole hood wearing "wanna be like loop shirts"

 

[I.V.]

Whole hood wearing "wanna be like loop shirts"

Those shirts were too dope. Homie was an entrepreneur... created a name, then printed his own tees. Had his scoring average on the front too, right next to his name.