I won't press you, but from someone who has been through it, including 18 months in a halfway house, where I worked as a manager and intake, you have a very rough time ahead of you, and if you truly are an alcoholic, you will not find peace or sobriety. Or, more accurately all the odds would be against you. People who do go to rehab, addiction therapy, have like maybe a 10-20 chance of staying sober, people who don't, have less.
Also, you can find professional or therapists for less money then you may think. Because talking to random people.....man, I mean, they aren't qualified to diagnose or treat anyone or anything. What is their background? Always get counsel from a professional. If you had a serious criminal case, would you counsel with the best criminal defense lawyer in his field? Even if it's just a free 30 min session, or talk to a person on the street about a federal drug trafficking charge? What the fukk would they know?
I'll say this, people who don't have problems with alcohol/alcoholic would never talk about "not being able to stop drinking". It would simply never occur to them, because it doesn't happen.