I've come to realize that, as a handsome young brotha entering his prime (early 30s), a lot of sistas seem intimidated by me...

Unbothered

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To be clear, when I say 'intimidated,' I'm not talking about finances, lifestyles, etc., but rather emotionally, as my love seems to be too much for them to handle.

An observation I've made is that showing too much love, affection, and interest towards many sistas seems to push them further away rather than bringing them closer to you. Now obviously, not every sista is this way. I've come across many who appreciate the gesture, but I've also encountered many who are drawn to the sentiments, only to suddenly withdraw and distance themselves.

You wouldn't believe how many times in my life it seems like my love becomes too much for them to handle. Now, to be clear, I'm not “love bombing” or anything extreme like that, but rather being myself; y'know, a decent understanding, compassionate, loving, and supportive young brotha. But a segment of sistas I've encountered in the dating world seems to be intimidated by that. I don't believe I'm coming off too strong; just a man with a lot of passionate thoughts.

See, I've been fortunate enough to avoid becoming traumatized by past relationship woes, and whatnot, compared to, unfortunately, much of our brothas and sistas who have endured physical and emotional abuse from the hands of sadly, some of our own, so I can't exactly understand what's going on in their heads when I'm showing them love and affection.

A lot of sistas, due to the aforementioned issues, are not used to a brotha who is naturally loving, affectionate, and compassionate; y'know, being loved properly, so whenever a brotha is those things, it scares them.

Has Black romance gotten that bad where being a normal, loving, affectionate, etc., individual (especially as a man) is a red flag? Is that where we're at as a community now? Where only dysfunctional romance is seen as “the way”.
 
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jdubnyce

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Ezekiel 25:17

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Honestly who cares, they do it to themselves. I say control what's in your power. I mean if you're willing to keep dealing with women who withdraw, then by all means.


I'm not sure if dating younger is better, dudes swear older women are best. But then I read threads like this and think older women are cooked.

Find you a mature 24 year old and call it a day.
 

Keepya onya toes

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To be clear, when I say 'intimidated,' I'm not talking about finances, lifestyles, etc., but rather emotionally, as my love seems to be too much for them to handle.

An observation I've made is that showing too much love, affection, and interest towards many sistas seems to push them further away rather than bringing them closer to you. Now obviously, not every sista is this way. I've come across many who appreciate the gesture, but I've also encountered many who are drawn to the sentiments, only to suddenly withdraw and distance themselves.

You wouldn't believe how many times in my life it seems like my love becomes too much for them to handle. Now, to be clear, I'm not “love bombing” or anything extreme like that, but rather being myself; y'know, a decent understanding, compassionate, loving, and supportive young brotha. But a segment of sistas I've encountered in the dating world seems to be intimidated by that. I don't believe I'm coming off too strong; just a man with a lot of passionate thoughts.

See, I've been fortunate enough to avoid becoming traumatized by past relationship woes, and whatnot, compared to, unfortunately, much of our brothas and sistas who have endured physical and emotional abuse from the hands of sadly, some of our own, so I can't exactly understand what's going on in their heads when I'm showing them love and affection.

A lot of sistas, due to the aforementioned issues, are not used to a brotha who is naturally loving, affectionate, and compassionate; y'know, being loved properly, so whenever a brotha is those things, it scares them.

Has Black romance gotten that bad where being a normal, loving, affectionate, etc., individual (especially as a man) is a red flag? Is that where we're at as a community now? Where only dysfunctional romance is seen as “the way”.

I can tell you where I believe you are going wrong. Look at the bolded text.

Firstly many sisters is too many sisters.

Secondly you say you have met  Many who are drawn to you. Yet when they realise they will not be enough for you they will leave. Why? Because nobody wants a man who needs everybody to love him to be their man.

With respect you come across as a man who receives love and respect from a woman finds it boring then tries to conquer another woman. You come off as a man who enjoys the chase but does not truly want to eat.

Work on your self esteem and stop trying to get every woman to love you. It's performative and makes you come across as fake. If you meet one woman who likes you that is enough. You don't need many sisters too love you.
 
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