Hathaway
Someday, We'll All Be Free
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We will have been married 5 years come November. Beautiful relationship. Kids. Healthy marriage. But throughout all of our pre-marriage counseling, I was not warned about the wars I'd have to endure over the thermostat. This is my wife. My Queen. I want her to be comfortable. I compromise a lot in this relationship and so does she. It is necessary for a successful marriage. However, I grew up in a home where my parents kept the temp between 63 and 65 degrees F.
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The vent in my room at my parents house was ALWAYS closed. They kept it freezing in that house. I slept in a jacket throughout the Summer and they still kept it cool in the Winter like around 70.
So naturally, I like to keep my home warm. Not overbearingly hot but a modest warm temp 78-79 with no A/C on. Plus it saves money.
Last night, when everybody went to sleep, I stayed up to play my game. My wife turned the air on before she went to bed. Had it set to 75. I said cool. I put on my jacket and chilled for the next 3 hours until she was asleep then I turned it off like I always do. I don't like sleeping with the air on because we already keep our fan on in our room with the door closed, might I add. We get a good circulation of cool air throughout the night.
So last night, I'm playing my game, it's about 1am. My wife come out the bedroom door looking like this:
It was chilling seeing her standing in the doorway in pitch blackness staring at me with a cold, evil intent. She gazed at the thermostat in disbelief. It was at 81 degrees. She said "Coolest, it is 81 degrees in here in the middle of July. I AM HOT. How can you sit in here at 81 degrees and not be hot!?"
I said, the air has only been off for like an hour.
Her response:
I could see her agitation increasing. My wife gets very irritable when she's hungry and doubly so when she's hot and sleepy. I felt like I had sat in this freezing air for 3 hours and it was my turn to be comfortable. Give and take, right? Compromise right?
I was wrong.
Now, I understand that she is hot. I do not deny this. Each of our bodies interpret temperature differently. I do not think 80 degrees is hot. She disagrees. She does not think 75 degrees is cold. I disagree.
I allowed her to turn the air back on because one thing I've learned in my 5 years of marriage is to never allow a dispute, no matter how small, to fester without resolution. I put back on my jacket, zipped it up and continued my gaming. When I got ready for bed about 2 hours later, I turned the air back off
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I pay the power bill, so I feel like I have more authority over the thermostat. That authority is challenged consistently, however. Therefore, I have no authority at all.
When I got up this morning, she said she woke up AGAIN at 4am to go and turn the air back on. We had a healthy little 7am "disagreement" and I conceded completely.
I knew this was a battle I could never win. Never. I told her that I hear and understand her grievances and I threw in her face "happy wife, happy life". This is a statement I always throw at her whenever I feel I am forced to compromise unnecessarily/unfairly and it gets under her skin.
Her response:
My points were made but it was all for naught. Keep your wife happy, no matter the cost. I have put my foot down on other issues, but this is one battle I lost. I am the sole casualty of this war. But my wife is satisfied. That's all that matters.
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